He flinched. “Neither of those. Actually, I’m lodging a complaint. I have not been the Earl of Rutland very long. To myself, I’m still Peregrine Ashby.”
Sabrina did look at him then, and what she saw filled her with a dark, wild longing. This dark-haired man with tawny eyes reminded her of a bird of prey, strong, fast, intelligent, yet she didn’t fear him.
“Then I must admit that I am Miss Talleyrand, not Talley. I, too, was trying to hide a little.” She wanted to trust him, but in the past she’d mistrusted people and been proven a fool. Her brother hadn’t even searched for her after she’d fled his home that awful day. She was both relieved and hurt to not even be missed. But it was a chapter she’d closed in the book that was her life.
Peregrine studied her. “Why do you wish to hide?”
She shrugged. “My life has changed, and I am no longer in the station I once was.”
“You shouldn’t be ashamed of anything. Before last fall, I was barely above a pauper, making only small bits of money at gambling establishments. And unlike many men, I gambled out of desperation rather than pleasure. I’m not proud of it, but I can be honest about it.” He held out an arm. “Walk with me?”
She found herself placing her hand on his arm. “You aren’t ashamed to walk about before your friends with a governess?” she asked.
He grinned. “I’ve done far more scandalous things in my life than walk with a lovely young woman.”
They moved away from the croquet lawn into the gardens. Sabrina couldn’t help but feel something strange come over her, a sense of déjà vu.
“This may sound rather silly, but I feel as if I’ve done this before,” she admitted.
Peregrine tilted his head. “Walked in the gardens?”
“Yes—well, no. Oh, never mind. Please forget I mentioned it.” She didn’t want him thinking any less of her by what she really meant.
“Would you tell me about Ashbridge?” she asked. “Now that I know the entire estate is your home, I should like to hear about it.”
At this Peregrine smiled. “It is a large property, and I’ve only been able to acquaint myself with it a few times over the last eight months, but I rather like the place. My butler tells me that later in the spring, when all the flowers are blooming, it will be quite a sight. It should be but another month before we see those glorious colors.”
“I should like to see that. It’s a pity that I won’t be here.”
“Perhaps I shall invite Rafe to come directly to my home after this party. He would surely bring the child, which will therefore make him bring you as well.”
Sabrina dared not hold out much hope that that would happen. Peregrine was an eligible bachelor of thirty with money, lands, and a title. By his own account he was the subject of many husband-hunting women, and it was foolish for her to entertain any thoughts that he might be truly interested in her in any other way than a platonic one.
She pulled free of his arm and walked a bit on her own before turning back to face him. A strange thing happened. In that instant, Peregrine was gone, and she saw a man in a mask standing beneath a starlit sky. She banished the memory. It was too eerie to think of Peregrine and the man in the garden. They weren’t the same man, yet she wanted to pretend in her heart of hearts that he was.
Zehra had spoken of loneliness and men, but women fell prey to such agonies as lonely hearts too. And right then, she felt so very lonely.
“Miss Talleyrand . . . ,” Peregrine began, then he shook his head before he hurried to catch up with her as they exited the gardens.
Sabrina returned to Isla and he to his friends. They were doing what they should. Staying apart. An earl and a governess had no need to be together in any way, no matter how she might wish it were possible.
9
“Rafe, how did you meet Miss Talleyrand?” Peregrine asked as he watched the other man line up his shot for the tenth wicket. The final guests for the week-long party had arrived in the last hour, and a good number of ladies and gentlemen had gathered near the croquet lawn, mallets in their hands. The light breeze tugged on the skirts of the ladies, making them look like a flock of colorful birds gracefully moving about the gardens.
“How did I meet Sabrina?” Rafe swung and with a solid whack! the ball ripped through the wicket and bounded down part of the small slope to the rest of the lawn below.
“Yes, Sabrina. How did you meet her?”
“I came across her at an inn when Isla and I were returning to London shortly after Lady Germain’s party last fall. She was without any money and had no clothes but those upon her back. A man attacked her in the stables, I intervened, and she agreed to accept my offer of employment as a governess.” Rafe was watching Peregrine closely. “Why are you interested?”
Peregrine tried to feign indifference. “There is a sadness about her. It lends her an air of mystery that has me a bit curious.”
Rafe chuckled. “A bit curious? You, the man who vows not to marry until he must is now interested in a woman who deserves marriage.”
“I am not thinking of marriage,” Peregrine admitted, feeling foolish.
“Normally, I would encourage a man to sow his wild oats and whatnot, but not with my governess. I like her, and Isla likes her. I will not have you swoop in and seduce her just to have some dalliance.”
“First, I am not a man to swoop,” Peregrine replied coldly. “And I would not seduce her. I’m merely curious.”
“So you’ve said.” Rafe sounded entirely unconvinced as he watched Peregrine with a level of scrutiny he didn’t at all like.
Peregrine took his turn. Right before he hit the ball, he glanced toward where Sabrina stood with a few of the ladies. They were talking, and Isla stood close to her, one hand curled in the woman’s skirts. Sabrina looked stunning in a light-gray satin gown with pale rosebuds embroidered on the bodice and the gown’s hem. She looked even more quietly elegant than the women around her.
“So have you had time to settle into your life as an earl?” Rafe broke into his thoughts.
“Yes, a little, but not nearly as much as I had hoped I would.” He whacked his ball, and it skittered wildly across the grass, striking the Earl of Lonsdale’s foot.
“Oi, watch it, Rutland!” he barked and kicked the croquet ball away from his boot. Several ladies and gentlemen cried foul at the disruption of the game, but Lord Lonsdale told them all to sod off.
When Peregrine glanced back at Sabrina, she had a gloved hand over her mouth, trying to hide the grin on her face. Peregrine grinned back at her.
“You had better put your eyes back in your head, man, and look elsewhere for fun,” Rafe warned.
Peregrine tried. He did everything a gentleman ought to do to distract himself from focusing too much on a lady. But it was no use. He couldn’t get past that sadness he’d seen in her, and he wished to do something to make amends for his earlier deception. He made a hasty trip back to Ashbridge and pored over the library books before he’d selected a few to give to her tonight—under the guise of friendship, of course. That evening, he maneuvered himself into escorting her from the drawing room to the dining room when all the guests were ready for dinner.