Two months later
Sabrina stared at the pure white sheets of her bed and nibbled her bottom lip with growing dread. A second full month had passed, and she had not yet bled. Her cycle had always been quite predictable until . . .
Oh Lord . . . I cannot be.
“Miss Talleyrand?” Nelly, one of the maids, entered the room. “You’re as white as a sheet. What’s wrong?”
She glanced at the bed and then the maid. “I must see a doctor. One who is known for his discretion. Could you find me one?”
Nelly nodded. “Let me ask Mrs. Hutchins. She would know.”
Sabrina was still standing in her nightgown by the window, gazing out at the gardens, when Nelly returned. “There’s a doctor named Dr. Givens. I wrote down his address for you.” Nelly passed her a slip of paper.
“Thank you.” She finally forced herself to move, and with Nellie’s help, she dressed in a simple pale-blue day gown. Then she went downstairs and knocked on the door to Rafe’s study.
“Come in!” he called out.
She peered inside to see him rifling through papers on his desk.
“I was hoping I could have some time to visit a doctor this morning?”
“Oh?” He abandoned his papers. “Are you ill?”
“I am feeling rather unwell.”
“By all means. Go now if you wish. Isla and I shall go to Hyde Park. I can see to her until you return.”
“Thank you, Mr. Lennox.”
Sabrina retrieved her reticule and hired a hackney to take her to Dr. Givens’s office, a red brick townhouse in a nice part of London. A brass plaque on the front door had his name and medical title engraved on it. She rapped the knocker and waited until a butler opened the door and guided her into a waiting room.
“Name, ma’am?”
“Sabrina Talleyrand. I work for Mr. Rafe Lennox. His housekeeper, Mrs. Hutchins, gave me Dr. Givens’s name.” She rushed through the explanation, praying the butler wouldn’t try to shoo her out of the townhouse.
“Please wait here.” The butler left the room, and she glanced about, her gaze unable to fix on anything. Her worries only doubled while the clock on the mantel continued to tick away, the only thing to be heard in the silence. What was she to do if her fears proved correct?
The butler returned and motioned for her to follow him. “This way, ma’am.”
She was shown into an examination room, where the doctor was seated at a desk making notes. “Ah, Miss Talleyrand?” He stood and closed the door to give them some privacy.
“Yes. Thank you for seeing me, Dr. Givens.”
“Of course. Mrs. Hutchins is an old friend.” The doctor was a fit man in his middling years, with streaks of gray at his temples that made him look both dashing and distinguished. Sabrina wondered if Mrs. Hutchins was perhaps more than an old friend of the doctor’s.
“If you would lie back on the table for me, Miss Talleyrand.”
She did, and despite herself, she started to shake as she remembered the doctor Mr. Booker had brought to examine her. That man, although somewhat sympathetic, had still touched her intimately, and she’d been as uncomfortable then as she was now.
“Now, what ails you?”
“I believe that I might be with child. It’s been two months since my last bleeding, and I am rarely off schedule.” Shame colored her cheeks as she half expected a hole to open up in the floor and swallow her.
“Yes, I see. Well, let me examine you.” The doctor gently touched her abdomen. “Have you had any nausea or felt unusually full after meals where you have not eaten much?”
“I was a little unwell a few days ago, and I have been eating less because I have felt rather full.”
“Any sensitivity in your bosom?” the doctor asked.
She nodded and tried to swallow down her embarrassment.
“Pain in the back?”
“A little.” She was stunned to think that all these signs might be due to pregnancy.
“I must look at you now. I apologize.” He gently removed her undergarments, and she parted her legs. He gazed at her a long moment and then helped her put her undergarments back on. “You may sit up now.” He turned to his desk and made some notes before returning to her.
“Miss Talleyrand, I do believe you are pregnant, but it is early yet. Do you know when you last had relations with the man responsible?”
She nodded. “Two months ago.”
“Then in seven months you will likely bear a child. But you must be watchful. There is a possibility you will spot blood. It’s not something to cause further worry, but you should come see me if it occurs more than a few days. There is also the chance that you may miscarry. You are young and your hips are wide, which does give you an advantage over some women, but you should seek a doctor immediately if you experience pains or cramps far above what you normally experience during your time each month.”
Sabrina fidgeted a little as the reality sank in. She was with child. Peregrine’s child.
“It is not my right to ask, but out of concern for a friend of Mrs. Hutchins, I must ask. Is the father known to you? Will he do the honorable thing?”
For a second, Sabrina didn’t know what to say because she honestly hadn’t considered telling Peregrine. “I don’t believe he will. He is far above my station and only offered an arrangement that I cannot in good conscience accept.”
Dr. Givens’s face softened in sympathy. “There are many places that take women in your position if you do not have anywhere to go.” He returned to his desk and wrote down a few names and addresses and handed the paper to her.
Sabrina tucked it into her reticule. “Thank you.”
“Will you be all right to leave? If not, you are welcome to remain here as long as you need to.”
“I will be all right,” Sabrina assured him, though it felt like the farthest thing from the truth. Her hands began to shake as she left the doctor’s house. She had to tell Rafe her news and face losing her position. It was the right thing to do.
Sabrina paced outside Rafe’s study for several minutes, her slippers wearing a path in the expensive Oriental carpet.
“Sabrina?” Rafe’s frustrated voice boomed through the door, halting her as she passed by yet again.
She clenched her hands together. “Yes?”
“Please come in and sit down. You’ll wear a spot down to the marble floor.”
She reluctantly entered the study. Rafe was lounging in his chair, his booted feet propped up on the edge of his desk. He had a stack of letters in his lap. He picked up one letter, glanced at the name of the sender, and casually threw it over his shoulder to land in the fireplace behind him, where it began to burn.
“Was that important?” Sabrina asked, staring at the letter he’d burned without even opening.
“What? Oh, no, not at all, just some man I despise. I never read a thing he sends me,” Rafe replied, then nodded at the chair opposite his desk. Sabrina sat down on the edge, every muscle in her rigid with anxiety.
“Sabrina, please talk to me. It’s abundantly clear that whatever happened today with the doctor has upset you.”
Sabrina stared at her feet a long moment before she forced her gaze to his.