“Oh, God,” I say, starting to hyperventilate again.
Devney rubs my back. “Easy. You have a plan. Just stick to it.”
I look up at her, the pillar of strength and unwavering friendship. “Right. Just stick to the plan.”
She smiles, taking both of my arms and shaking me a little. “What’s your reason?”
“My father.”
“That’s right. Remember that. All of this has been to make him happy, so be happy for him.”
A tear falls down my cheek, and she curses before grabbing a tissue. “None of that,” she says as she dabs it away. “This is a happy day, and you’re stunning.”
I nod. “There’s that.”
Kinsley and Amelia come rushing around the corner in their navy-blue dresses that Stella somehow found. I couldn’t not have a junior bridesmaid and flower girl.
“You look like a princess!” Amelia beams. “I want to have a dress just like yours!”
“Someday, I’m sure you will.”
Kinsley smiles just as wide as her cousin. “Are you just as nervous as Uncle Oliver?”
“I’m trying to stay calm,” I say with a bit of a shake in my voice.
“Don’t worry,” she says with ease. “You both will do great, and it’s clear you like each other a lot.”
My heart falters for a second, and guilt threatens to overwhelm me. I hate that his nieces are going to be hurt by this. I turn to Devney, who grabs my shoulders again. “In and out, Mare. In and out. You have to breathe.” She turns to the girls. “Why don’t you guys go find the flowers that we put away.”
They walk off, but Kinsley looks back before she rounds the corner.
“I’m not going to make it through this.”
Dev focuses on me, eyes so intent that it’s almost scary. “You are going to walk down that aisle for your father. All of this has been for him. Got it?”
“I got it.”
She leads me through a few more deep breaths before I’m under control. She’s right, this will be fine. I used to love drama club, so I just need to think of this as a play that I’m starring in. Oliver and I won’t really be married, and we’ll go on a vacation as friends.
Charlie, Mark’s wife, peeks her head in the room. “Your dad is here.”
It’s time.
“Okay,” I say a little breathlessly.
He enters, tears filling his green eyes as he comes to a stop in front of me. “My darling, you are so beautiful.” The words come out as a whisper, and he nearly chokes on them. “Just like your mother.”
My heart aches as the tear falls down his cheek. Very rarely does he mention my mother anymore. In the beginning, he spoke of her often, told me stories of their lives together and the joy of having me. But as the years went by, Linda got more and more upset when he brought up my mom. It was as though she worked hard to create a division in his life so there was a line between his life before her and his life now. His life, career, children, and first wife were no longer relevant. Only she is. So, to see him emotional as he remembers her touches me deeply.
“Daddy,” I say, fighting back my own tears.
“She would’ve loved seeing you like this.” He takes a step back, admiring my gown.
It has a sweetheart neckline with a lace overlay that covers the length of the dress. The bodice is fitted, and the back is lined with buttons. It’s stunning, and I felt beautiful in it the moment I tried it on.
The planning of my wedding seemed like kismet from the day one-point-oh proposed. Whatever I searched for, I found immediately. My dress was the second dress I picked up off the rack, and it was in my size with no alterations needed. The venue was booked so easily, and it didn’t cost a fortune since Oliver owns the place. The date we picked worked for everyone’s schedule.
I guess I should have known that something was going to go sideways. Nothing is ever that effortless.
“I wish she was here,” I tell my father.
“Me too, Princess. But I believe your mother is looking down on you. She has always been guiding you, making sure you have loving people in your life.”
I bite back a remark about how I wish it was the same for him. “I have you,” I say instead.
“Yes, you do, Maren.” He starts to cough, so I help him sit as he points to the bag he brought. His medicines. I go through it, lifting options until he nods at the inhaler. He immediately breathes it in and then the coughing slows.
“Daddy?”
“It’s . . . getting harder to do this.” The confession rocks me.
“What can I do?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing anymore. We just have to . . .” He coughs a few times. “Love. Because I don’t have long.”
I am not ready to lose him. The selfish part of me wants him to keep fighting, to keep holding on because I’m not strong enough to handle the loss. I need him, and I love him.
I wouldn’t be doing any of this if that weren’t the case.
Then the part of me that holds all my compassion reminds me that he’s in pain. Each day is a fight, a struggle that is sucking the life out of him.
“I wish . . .”
“I know,” Daddy offers. “But you have a wonderful man to be here for you.”
Not only am I about to start sobbing because of the fact that my father is dying but also because I’m a big fat liar.
He stands, and when he starts to weaken, I rise, catching his arm to steady him.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
“There is nothing that will keep me from doing this. It’s my honor to walk with you today.”
“The honor is all mine, Daddy.”
He kisses my cheek and then tucks my hand in his arm.
Devney pops the door open right on time, a huge smile on her face. “You two ready? It’s time.”
As we stand in the line, ready to go into the ceremony, I feel so much all at once it’s hard to contain. There is sadness because it’s fake and this isn’t really my wedding. Happiness that I am able to give my father this moment, which is something I hope brings him great peace. Disappointment that I don’t actually have someone in my life like Oliver.
He’s going to stand beside me and give my family something they desperately need, and I don’t deserve someone as great as him.
The music begins, and his nieces go first, and then Oliver’s sister follows. She was a late add because it really didn’t make sense not to have Stella be a part of it when she’s his twin. Devney looks back at me with a smile before going through the door, letting it close behind her.
The music shifts, and it’s our turn.
The doors open, allowing me to see the inside for the first time. It’s absolutely stunning. White chairs line the silk runner in front of me. Huge, blush-colored flowers cap every row with long strands of greenery sweeping along the floor. The guests are all standing, but they all fall to the background when my eyes find Oliver.
“Ready, Princess?” Daddy asks when I don’t move.
I can’t look away from Oliver, and I’m unsure of why I suddenly feel so incredibly vulnerable.
He gives me a wide grin and then winks.
I smile, unable to stop myself. “I’m ready.”