My breath came faster as sudden panic gripped me. I could feel myself getting pulled back into the past. I shouldn't try to fight it. Because Drake might be right. I might know more than I had ever said. But maybe what I knew was too terrifying to remember.
I stopped and drew in a breath, trying to calm myself down. I looked toward the sea as the clouds parted and moonlight lit up the crashing waves below.
This scene also felt eerily familiar. I remembered being on a bluff overlooking the ocean, afraid I was too close to the edge. I didn't want to fall into that churning water.
I had fallen, but not into the sea. I knew that because I'd had abrasions on my hand and blood on my knee where my jeans had ripped when I woke up in the early hours of the morning on a chaise lounge on the patio, with no idea of how I'd gotten there. I'd gone upstairs in the dawn light and fallen into bed, feeling sick, dizzy, and confused.
When I'd woken up, it had only gotten worse. Melanie was missing.
Another car came down the road now, and for a split second, the headlights blinded me. Another flash of memory. Had I felt blinded before?
Maybe Drake was right. Coming back to the island might be loosening something up in my brain.
As another car passed by, I started walking again. I needed to get off this road. I needed people, lights, and noise. I broke into a light jog, the darkness of the past propelling me forward. I was running away from something, but I didn't know what, and I was afraid to find out.
What if I had seen something?
What if I could have saved Melanie?
What if I was the reason she was gone?
Each question brought pain and panic. By the time I hit the outskirts of town, I was sweating and panting. I stopped at the first traffic light, relieved when a crowd of tourists surrounded me as they waited to cross the street.
Their mere presence made me feel better. A mom was laughing with her kid. Two teenage girls were talking about some hot guy they were hoping to run into. A man was telling his friend about the big fish he'd caught earlier that day. People were living their lives. It wasn't ten years ago. It was now. I don't think any of these people had even heard of Melanie. That was a little sad. She'd loved when the tourists came to town. New faces were always exciting to her.
The light changed, and I crossed the street. With my pulse slowing down, I ambled through the downtown, letting the crowd carry me aimlessly along. Things had changed and yet were still very much the same. The bookstore brought back happy memories of hours spent sitting on the fluffy chairs in the window, reading the latest beach book.
Some restaurants and clothing boutiques were new, but the big hardware store on the corner of Main and Winston looked exactly the same, including the two electronic horses that sat out front. A quarter would give a three-minute ride. They were supposed to be for small kids, but Melanie and I had ended up on them at least twice a summer, usually with ice cream cones in our hands.
My gaze moved across the street to the ice cream parlor owned by Gabby's family. It had a line halfway down the block, despite the wintry feeling of the night. I could smell the sugar as I passed by. I definitely needed to get a triple scoop of mocha almond fudge on a waffle cone before I went home. But I'd come back when it was warmer.
For the next thirty minutes, I made my way around town. Now that I was around people and action, I wasn't desperate to get home. It actually felt good to walk, to breathe fresh air, to hear laughter and music. I'd built up the island to be this dark, dangerous place in my mind, but it had never felt that way to me when I was a kid.
Back then, I'd loved the hundreds of trails that ran through the woods, the beautiful beaches that encircled the island, the town events—everything from a cornhole championship on the Fourth of July, to the summer sailing races, and the art festivals. I'd loved warm summer nights, endless amounts of ice cream, the predictable crash of the waves as I'd drift to sleep each night, dreaming of the adventures Melanie and I would go on the next day.
Melanie came back into my head. Her big dark eyes gleamed with excitement, her shimmery black hair falling loose about her shoulders as we ran down hills or dove into the ocean. Her unrestrained, wholehearted laugh came from down deep and was so contagious, I always laughed, too, even if I didn't know what we were laughing at. An intense sadness ran through me.
I knew there were people in this town who still loved and remembered Melanie, but there were so many who had never known her or who had mostly forgotten her, and that bothered me. Melanie had never wanted to be forgettable. But while I'd never forget her, remembering her was emotionally exhausting.
I shivered as the breeze kicked up, and I moved a little faster. It would be easier to get a ride from the heart of downtown, so I made my way toward a cluster of bars and restaurants on Ocean Avenue.
Raley's had a rooftop deck, and I could hear the music pumping from above my head. The Island Brewery also had an outdoor patio, and it was packed as well. The Road House still had a dive look to it. I'd never gone there, but Brooklyn, James, and Gage had snuck in there a few times that last summer. They were only twenty, but they'd had fake IDs, and the old man who owned the place didn't look at anything too closely.
I frowned, thinking about what Drake had said earlier about James's DUI. James should have been arrested. And judging by James's condition tonight, maybe he wouldn't be such a drunk now if he had suffered a consequence for his actions back then.
Or maybe it would have made no difference. I'd never really liked James. I'd always thought he was arrogant and condescending to me. It was unbelievable that he'd ever told Brooklyn I liked him. It was even more unbelievable that he thought we'd made out in his car or my bedroom. Clearly, that had not been me. But he'd also said that the person was too young for him, which made me wonder if he'd been talking about Kelsey. That would be disgusting. Kelsey wouldn't have hooked up with Brooklyn's boyfriend. Would she?
Kelsey could be a little selfish. No. I shook my head. Kelsey wouldn't have hurt Brooklyn like that. James had just made the whole thing up. Or he'd been talking about someone else.
When I got to the corner by the liquor store, I pulled out my phone and checked one of the ride apps. This was a busy part of downtown, and it looked like a car would arrive in fifteen minutes. That was doable. After confirming, I moved back toward the building to get protection from the wind. A man came rushing around the corner, almost knocking me over. At first, all I saw was the shiny gleam of his badge. But as he grabbed my arms to steady me, our gazes met.
"Willow?" he asked in surprise.
I smiled into his familiar brown eyes. "Hello, Ben. I guess you still don’t look where you're going."
He grinned. "That's right. The first time we met, I knocked you off your bike."
"Because you were speeding down Mountain View."
"I wasn't speeding; I just wasn't braking."
I laughed at the old excuse. "Same old story."
"It was the truth then, and the truth now." He dropped his hands from my arms and stepped back, his gaze moving down my body. "You look good."
"You look official," I said, noting his uniform. "I heard you took over for your dad."
"Two months ago," he said with a nod.
I shook my head in bemusement. "I never thought you'd follow in your father's footsteps. You were always a rule breaker, not a rule follower. And you said you wanted to live far away from here."