"It bothered me, though," Brooklyn said. "That lie was always between us."
"So you had some doubts about where he was?"
She stopped at a light and turned her gaze on me. "Yes, but the doubts weren't about Melanie. I thought he might have cheated on me."
"With who?"
"I don't know."
"Did you ever ask him?"
"Not directly."
"Why the hell not? You're always direct. You like to ask the hard questions."
"Not when I'm afraid of the truth. We danced around the subject, but I never asked him flat out. I should have, but I didn't."
"Is that why you broke up?"
"It was part of it. He went to rehab when we got back to college, and for a couple of years after that, he was better. But then he started slipping. There were more weird nights where he would disappear and then show up with no recollection of where he'd been. I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to walk away."
"That makes sense."
"Does it?" she asked, an uncertain gleam in her eyes. "Mom thought I should have given him more support. She liked us together."
"She wasn't in the relationship; you were. I think you made the right decision in the break-up, but you made a huge mistake when you covered for James, and you need to clean that slate."
"It won't matter now," she said, as she drove through the intersection. "And even if I don't care about James, the lie will hurt Rachel and her parents. What's the point? James didn't see Melanie."
"You keep saying that, but you don't know if it's true," I argued. "He could have cheated on you with Melanie."
Her jaw dropped at that piece of information. She flung me a quick look. "Why would you say that? Do you know something? Were they together?"
"You need to ask James who he was with, and you need to tell Ben that you lied."
Brooklyn didn't answer, as she slowed the car down and turned into the parking lot by the nature trail. The lot was crowded with volunteers who had come out for the search, and there was only one spot left.
She turned off the engine and then faced me. "I hear you, Willow, but we need to focus on finding Kelsey right now. That's why we're here."
"You're right. But when we're done searching, you know what you have to do. If you don't, I will."
"You're threatening me, Willow?"
I met her gaze head-on. She flinched a little, as if she wasn't used to my fighting back, which, of course, she wasn't, since I'd rarely fought back when I was a kid. It had been so much easier to just let her have her way, but I couldn't do that anymore. The stakes were too high. "I'm telling you what's going to happen."
"James will be furious if I go to Ben, if I reveal his secret after so many years."
"He already knows the secret is out. I told James I overheard your conversation."
"You did what?"
"I followed James to Willie's last night where he met with Carter, and we had a discussion about James's lies and Carter's secret affair with Kelsey."
She shook her head in disbelief. "I can't believe you did that." Despite her words, there was a gleam of respect in her gaze. "What did they say?"
"James told the same story to me he told you. Carter admitted to the affair and said he was in love with Kelsey but that she'd chosen Gage. He'd tried to get her to call off the wedding, but she refused. He begged me not to say anything to anyone about their relationship, because I would hurt her, and when she came back, she'd be humiliated. But I can't worry more about possible humiliation than getting Kelsey back safely. That's all that matters."
"I can't believe he told you all that. I also can't believe Kelsey was with him. Are you sure they actually slept together?"
"Yes. Carter confirmed it."
Brooklyn gave me a bewildered look. "Kelsey never told me. I thought we were so close. Did Carter say anything else?"
"No. But there's something else you should know. After I left James and Carter in the bar, I went to the dock to see where Kelsey's shoe had been found. Someone came up behind me and shoved me into the water. I almost drowned."
Brooklyn gave me another shocked look. "Do you think Carter or James pushed you in?"
"I don't know. They didn't like our conversation."
"This is…crazy," Brooklyn said, waving a confused hand in the air. "I don't understand anything that's going on. Did you go to the police? Did you tell them what happened?"
"I called Ben last night and left him a message, but he hasn't gotten back to me. I was going to call again this morning, but I didn't want to distract him or any of the other deputies from looking for Kelsey, so I haven't gotten into it, but I will."
"You made the right choice. The focus has to be on Kelsey." Brooklyn paused. "Are you all right, Willow?"
I was surprised she'd taken a moment to ask. "Yes, I'm still shaken, but physically I'm fine. When I was flailing in the water, I thought I might disappear without a trace, like Melanie, like Kelsey. It was terrifying."
"But you can swim. You were able to get out."
"Drake rescued me. I was struggling with the weight of my clothes."
"Drake? What was he doing down there? Was he at Willie's too?"
"No. He went down to the dock for the same reason I did, to see where Kelsey's shoe had been found."
"Or he went there to hurt you."
I shook my head. "He didn't push me in."
"You don't know that for sure, do you?"
"He saved my life."
Brooklyn didn't look convinced, and I didn't have time to explain further. "The volunteers are gathering for instructions. We should go."
"Let's not say anything to the others about any of this," Brooklyn said.
I wasn't surprised she wanted me to be silent, but at the moment I was willing to do that.
We got out of the car and made our way to the back of the group. Rachel, Dahlia, and Trina were already there, as were Alex, Peter, Gage, Carter, and Preston. I wondered where James was, but there was no time for questions. A deputy gave us quick instructions and then passed out maps for the area.
Brooklyn, Trina, Dahlia, Rachel, and I formed one group, while the guys were ahead of us and a dozen or so other volunteers behind us.
As we moved through the thick trees and foliage, I remembered the last time I'd done this, the second day after Melanie disappeared. I'd thought with every step that we'd find her, but we never had, and that memory brought a heavy weight of hopelessness down on my shoulders. I could tell myself it was different this time, but it felt very much the same.
We walked through the woods for over two hours. With each passing minute, I felt more anxious and more panicky, afraid we would find something and terrified we would not. Brooklyn, Trina, and Rachel were also more subdued than they normally were. They didn't include me in their conversation, but that wasn't unusual. I'd gone back into my shell, staying in the background, and they were happy to leave me there.
It was almost noon when we ended up back in the parking lot, having found absolutely nothing. An additional group would start in a different area at one, but I was done. I'd promised to meet up with Drake, and I didn't think I could stand another few hours in the woods, worrying about whether I was going to trip over the body of my sister. I didn't want her to be out in some forsaken part of the island. I wanted her to be safe somewhere. I wanted there to be a happy ending.