"That's disheartening."
"Tell me about it."
"Can I look through the house, Ben?"
His gaze sharpened. "You really think my father has Melanie's diary?"
"I don't know."
"Well, I'll look for the diary. It was red, right?"
"You should have someone else do that."
"I can't protect him, Willow; he's dead," Ben said flatly.
"You can protect how people will think of him, whether he'll be known as a beloved sheriff who always looked out for everyone, or the man who thwarted an investigation into a teenage girl's death."
"If that's what he did, I won't stop the truth from coming out. I took an oath to uphold the law, and that's what I'll do."
"He's your father. You love him."
"I loved the man I thought I knew. If he wasn't that man, then I'll do what needs to be done." He paused. "I regret I lied about where I was that night. It didn't seem that important at the time."
"A lot of people told lies and also told themselves the exact same thing."
"You're right. There's no excuse. But now, I need to go to work." He urged me to the door, and I had no choice but to leave.
I walked out to my car, noting that the fire engine and ambulance had left, leaving only the police vehicles in front of the house. My phone vibrated, and I pulled it out of my pocket. "Hello? Drake?"
"My father is home," he said. "He's not in good shape. He said he fell when he was hiking on the headlands. He has some cuts and bruises."
"From falling?"
"I hope that's where they came from," Drake murmured. "Maybe Ben isn't the only one with a father who lies. I don't know what to do, Willow. I haven't told my parents what Tom said yet. My father is calm now, but that won't last when he hears what I have to say. I almost don't want to tell him, but I have to, because the police could knock on the door any minute."
My heart went out to him. "Are you at your parents' house?"
"Yes."
"I'll be right there. Don't say anything to your dad yet. I pointed out to Ben that your father and Tom never got along. Tom wouldn't have protected your dad if he'd been guilty. They didn't like each other at all."
"That's true," Drake said, his voice filling with a bit of hope. "If he'd had something on my dad, he would have used it. But I still need to know the truth."
"We'll find it. The sheriff might be dead, but whoever killed him is not, and we're going to find that person."
Melanie's Diary—August 6th
Everyone has a secret. At least that's the way it feels.
My dad has a lot of secrets. I don't know what happened to him when he was a Marine. Mom says he's better now, but sometimes he sinks back into another world, a dark place filled with explosions and violence, blood and death. At least, that's what I imagine. He doesn't talk about it.
Sometimes he scares me. I know he wouldn't hurt me, but it feels like he's not all there, and that makes me nervous.
This week has been pretty good, though. Dad and Drake hiked around the south shore of the island yesterday. Dad came back tired and hungry. He didn't even ask me where I'd been all day. That's a first. His favorite thing to do is interrogate me.
I might be sixteen, but I'm not an idiot. I know not to take a drink from someone I don't know. I know not to get in anyone's car who I don't know. I know that guys might not mean what they say. But sometimes guys do mean it. And I'm smart enough to know the difference. At least, I hope I am. The guy I want to talk to suddenly doesn't want to talk to me. I don't understand why. Maybe I am naïve.
I want to tell Willow how I'm feeling, but I'm not sure where to start. I've been keeping a big secret from her, and I feel bad about that. I wonder if Willow has any secrets from me. She probably doesn't. She's not very good at hiding how she feels.
Other people are much better. That's something else I've learned from Willow. People tell you all kinds of things with their eyes, their mouth, the way they move their bodies. She captures moments in her photos that show vulnerability, fear, and sometimes cockiness. When I look at her photos, the ones she takes of the other kids, I see them differently.
Sometimes I don't want to see who they really are. I just want to see them the way I want them to be.
Chapter Twenty-Six
I arrived at the Maddox house just after noon. The wind had gotten worse, and so had the rain. I ran from the car to Drake's porch. He stepped out of the house, closing the front door behind him. He looked as worried as I'd ever seen him. I couldn't imagine having doubts about my own father, wondering if he could hurt my sibling, maybe even kill them.
"How's your dad doing?" I asked.
"He's all right. He was chilled from walking in this weather, and like I told you, he was beat-up from his fall. I haven't told my mother or my father anything about Tom, but news will get out fast. I don't have much time. I just wish my father wasn't bruised. That's only going to raise more suspicion, especially since no one saw him fall. He also said he didn't run into anyone on his walk."
"I don't believe he went to Tom's house. And it didn't look like Tom wrestled or fought with anyone. Someone hit him on the back of the head. Your dad's injuries wouldn't be consistent."
"That's true. I hate that I even have a small doubt. How can I doubt my own father? And if I think he's capable of killing Tom, then…" He ran his hands through his hair. "But I can't think that." He cleared his throat. "Did you look for the diary?"
"No. Ben kicked me out. He said he'd look for it."
"I hate to leave that to him."
"I didn't have a choice."
"Maybe we can get into the house later when they're done examining the scene. Ben isn't staying there. He has an apartment in town."
"I wondered where he was living. We definitely need to get into that house. But putting the diary aside, if the past is linked to the present, then I'm back to Gage. He lied about seeing Melanie when he had no reason to lie. And the sheriff spent a lot of time talking to the Chadwicks after Melanie disappeared. If Tom was protecting someone, I think Gage is a good bet."
"And Gage had a really good reason to be angry with Kelsey after she slept with his brother. Not that I think he did anything to hurt her," he quickly amended. "I'm sorry, Willow. I shouldn't have said that."
"I was already thinking it."
He met my gaze. "Don't think it. Not until there's no other option."
"Okay, so we focus on Gage. We need proof of something, and I don't know how we're going to get it." As I finished speaking, a car came down the street, pulling up in front of the house.
Jenny hopped out of the car and put a hood over her head to avoid the rain as she jogged up the steps. "Do you know what's going on?" she asked. "I just heard that Tom Ryan was killed."