I was frozen for a moment, the shock creeping through my system until my mind registered what was going on. I could push Julian away and slap him for what he was doing. But my hands snaked around his waist and rested on his back and I stood on my tip-toes as my mouth opened to allow him access.
I gasped loudly when Julian bit my bottom lip gently and my fingers weaved into his hair. He tasted like spearmint and smelled like pine and I was drawn in to the taste and smell of Julian Hudson as his tongue attacked mine, roaming the inside of my mouth, grazing my teeth. Suddenly he pulled away and I could hear my own breathing coming through my lips as Julian dipped his head and began kissing my neck.
Moaning, I pulled Julian towards me closer, eyes closed as my body ignited into flames at the feel of his chapped lips giving my body chaste kisses. It was when I felt his hands dipped into the inside of my pajama top, his thumb caressing my under-boob and the satisfying moan that left my mouth that snapped me back into my senses.
I pushed Julian back and tried to catch my breath. When I looked up, Julian was staring at me, eyes dark that it almost looked black. He visibly swallowed but there didn’t seem to be any trace of regret. “Audrey…”
Shaking my head, I held up a hand and took a step away from him. “I…I’m going to bed.”
“Audrey,” he was still calling my name as I rushed back inside the house and I almost ran into my room. Shutting the door and locking it, I pressed my back against it and sank down onto the floor, pulling my knees close to me as I closed my eyes and tried to make sense of what happened.
Julian Hudson and I just kissed.
And I didn’t really want it to stop.
13
Julian
Maybe I wasn’t exactly in the right state of mind when I kissed Audrey.
For one thing, we hated each other. There was no denying the animosity that we held towards each other. Kissing her the way I did, merely complicated things between us considering that we were only tolerating each other.
But the thing was, in that moment, it felt like the right thing to do, as if it was the only thing to do. Since the time my lips brushed against hers before the fireworks display started, I was caught in an Audrey-induced trance. For a moment, I thought I had snapped out of it when I found out that José had thrown a party at the house even after I had asked him not to do so earlier. But then pulling her the way I did for a hug, I knew right then that I wasn’t.
Hell, I didn’t even know why I hugged her like that.
All I knew was that I was upset and pissed and she was right there in front of me and I just wanted to seek comfort from anyone.
But that kiss…
I don’t know why I kissed Audrey. We were only having a decent conversation on my behaviour towards women and dating and before I knew it, I felt my lips crashed against hers. It was as if there was something whispering in my ear to feel her. It felt like I craved her, and maybe it was the wine that I drank or the fact that I was tired that made me lucid and ignited my desire to have her even more.
That must’ve been why I kissed her. There wasn’t really any other reason than just that and it honestly sounded logical to me, so I didn’t want to think of anything more to it than just that. Because if we were being honest here, was there any other reason than just plain lust for that kiss to happen? I had had a couple of drinks in my system, Audrey was attractive; it didn’t take a genius to solve that puzzle and it didn’t even matter if we hated each other.
And in the instant my lips met yours,
My soul burst into flame,
You’re addicting and satisfying and baby, I crave
Stay with me right here in this moment,
Stay with me in this lifetime
I’ll be yours for how long you’ll want it
Be it in this lifetime and even in the next one
I inwardly groaned as the lyrics to that song came into my mind again. It was something that came to me when my lips brushed against Audrey for a fleeting moment at the amusement park, and I thought that the lyrics was just as fleeting too. But kissing Audrey again with the kind of passion I had earlier brought back the lyrics to my mind, and I would be a fool if I disregarded it.
My band and I were in the middle of a crisis. We needed new songs to rebuild our brand, and I had to write down any song lyrics that came into my mind in a heartbeat.
I usually carried a pen with me to write down lyrics, but never carried any paper, so I had the lyrics written down on my hand. I wasn’t sure how long I’d been staring at it but I knew that they were the lyrics to the new song. It wasn’t meant to be the first verse or even the second one and as I tried in vain to think of the right words, my brain kept farting on me until I finally fell to my side and allowed sleep to overtake me.
“So, let me get this straight, you still hate Julian Hudson with every fiber of your being but you also just happened to invite him to sleepover at your house!”
“Gee, I never thought you thought I didn’t have an ounce of kindness within me.” Audrey’s voice sounded wry as she responded.
“It’s not that, Aud. It’s just that, you hate him.” There was an emphasis on the three words and I wanted to groan in annoyance because there was really no need to rub it in.
“He was willing to sleep in a hotel after we came back from Disney to find a full party going on in their place,” Audrey began to explain and I heard her yawn tiredly. How long had she been awake? What time was it anyway? “Violet was asleep already and we didn’t really want her to sleep during a party. He wanted to stay in the nearest hotel but I thought it would just be better if they stayed here.”
I opened my eyes slightly so I could see her and Theo. They were standing in the middle of the living room, with little distance from the couch I was sleeping on. Theo was looking at Audrey with curious eyes. I think it might have been hard for him to believe that Audrey was willing to offer me a place to sleep when she always claimed to hate me with a burning passion.
That burning passion last night wasn’t hate, though.
“Stop judging me, Theo,” Audrey said after a while and shrugged. I watched as she turned to face her friend and shook her head, “You’re one of the people who told me to give him a chance. Benefit of the doubt and what not, that you and Amber kept babbling about.”
Instead of replying to what she said, Theo moved forward. He still hadn’t noticed that I was awake so I quickly closed my eyes again but could feel him approaching. “Why does he have your notepads here…”
I was quick to react and grabbed the notepad from his hand. I didn’t want the song I wrote in his hand just yet. “There’s something called invasion of privacy.”
Theo’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “You were awake this whole time?”
I sat up and shrugged, stretching a little as my eyes darted around Audrey’s house. “You two talk loud. Where’s Violet?”
Audrey pointed at her room upstairs. “I had her change into a swimsuit of mine that I never wore when I was young.”
I made a face at that. “It’s not skimpy or anything, right?”
Theo plopped on the couch beside me and laughed loudly. “Oh dear, Audrey was a nun when it came to swimsuits during the early days. You don’t have to worry about that.”