Amber. When Christina Yang said that Meredith Grey was her person, I absolutely knew what she meant because Amber was mine. “Surprise!”
Even she was crying at our reunion and when we pulled away from each other, I wiped the tears from her face, uncaring of my own. “When did you arrive? Why didn’t you call me? Amber! You were supposed to call me! Is this why you didn’t call last night and why you never answered mine?”
I was firing question after question and Amber huffed, rolled her eyes and then rolled in her huge purple suitcase into my living and plopped on my couch. “Louis and I broke up.”
My heart dropped at that statement, and the fear and worry surged. Ever since Amber’s incident, I’d grown to be cautious of her breakups. “Sweetie…”
She raised her eyebrow and then rolled her eyes because she knew the tone of voice I was using. “I broke up with him. It didn’t…it didn’t really work out between us and he wasn’t really understanding and supportive of my craft so to hell with him. Bella, ciao.”
Knowing that she was the one who instigated the breakup gave me some sense of relief. I sat next to her and rested my head on her shoulder, closing my eyes. I could feel her pat me on the head gently. “Aww, I’ve missed you too, buttercup.”
I went to Paris about eight months ago to visit her. She hadn’t met Louis by then but had been busy establishing herself in the fashion world. We called each other every day after I left the way we always did but I still missed her like crazy and having her beside me again felt like all was right in the world. My soulmate was back.
“And I love the silence and comfortability of our position and all but you are going to finish that makeup of yours, right?” Amber said, making me sit upright and narrow my eyes at her playfully. She grinned, shrugging. “And help me carry my luggage to the room.”
Before we could get the move on, the door suddenly swung open. “You know your passcode is kind of obvious for people who know you.”
Julian Hudson sauntered in, all in his keratin treated hair glory. He dressed up in black jeans that didn’t have holes in them or any rips, an actual button down shirt that was pressed and I could smell the Old Spice mixing with Calvin Klein cologne. He even wore an earring on his right ear to complete the outfit.
“My, my, Julian Hudson, it has been a while.”
Suddenly, the right axis that my world had been spinning on, tilted once again when I realized that Amber was here in my house and so was Julian. Julian, who I had blamed for Amber’s suicide attempt. Julian, who I had hated because I thought he was the reason why I almost lost my best friend. Julian, who I had erased from Amber’s life without her permission and without him knowing that I was the one who did so.
“Amber Shaw,” his voice had dropped an octave when he said her name and it was as if I was Amber because I felt the chills when he spoke, “I’d never thought I’d see you again.”
Both Julian and I were surprised when Amber launched herself at him in a big hug. Julian reacted quickly, wrapping his arms around her waist and it was a good thing he was steady on his feet otherwise they would have toppled over. But the way Julian held her, the way he smiled when Amber buried her face on his shoulder and inhaled deeply and sighing almost contentedly.
“I’ve missed you,” Amber said softly and maybe she meant it as a whisper, something only for the two of them.
I think my world just stopped spinning.
Julian let out a small laugh, almost a giggle. “Me too. I missed you.”
Was that my heart breaking?
I felt like I was intruding in such an intimate moment and I wished for the ground to swallow me whole right now so they could have their privacy. The two of them pulled apart, as if they sensed that I was still in the room with them and I felt absolutely awkward then. Or maybe they didn’t because they were smiling at each other and Amber had heart eyes for Julian all over again. It was so clear that I felt the familiar sickening annoyance I had once felt.
Along with something else simmering inside of me that I couldn’t quite name.
“When Aud told me that she was going to be your assistant for a month because of the whole situation she has in, I couldn’t believe it,” Amber began to say, tilting her head a little and beaming at Julian. Sometimes I felt as if there was a flashlight shining on Amber and she wore glitter because she always seemed to sparkle when she turned on her charm.
Julian chuckled and then looked at me and I felt like this was the first time since he came in that he actually looked at me. I could feel the weight of the blue and gray as he crossed the short distance between us and reached a hand to my face, wiping something just below my mouth and causing turmoil inside of me at the sudden gesture.
“I didn’t want to believe it was her standing in my front door that day and having her agree as my assistant was merely for my own entertainment,” Julian began to say, his gaze still fixed on me as the corner of his mouth twitched into a small, endearing smile. “I never realized how she could actually be a saving grace. Especially, her organizational skills.”
Amber raised an eyebrow and I could feel her eyeing the close proximity between Julian and I. Swallowing, I took a step back and then pointed to the stairs. “I have to finish getting ready. I’ll bring your suitcase in the room.”
Before I could make a move to grab Amber’s suitcase, Julian quickly took it and looked at Amber. “I’ll bring it up. Be back soon.”
I could feel Amber’s gaze on us when the two of us headed upstairs but when I turned to look at her, she had plopped herself back on the couch and was on her phone. Julian and Amber broke up almost six years ago. I held Julian accountable for Amber’s actions and I hated him for it.
We’d spent nearly three weeks together and although it started out rough until it got to the point that I’d grown to tolerate Julian’s idiotic and cocky tendencies, it was the soft moments that made me see him in a different light. They were the same moments that made my heart beat like crazy and it made me see why Amber may have fallen in love with Julian, what she was trying to bring out amidst the cocky heartbreaker front he put up.
I opened my room and I could hear Julian following in beside me. “You can just set it at the side. Amber wouldn’t be thrilled to have been left alone there-,”
He wrapped his arms around me, snaking them around my waist and pulling me closer to her. My back hit his chest and I could feel his head on my shoulder. One thing I’d learned about Julian Hudson after I finally allowed myself to stop seeing him as a villain, and it was also something I’d always known but always denied: he was incredibly- sometimes sickeningly- sweet.
“What are you doing?” I asked quietly but I didn’t make any move to remove his hands wrapped tightly around my waist. As much as I hated to admit it, I liked the warmth that only he brought me because it felt like it reached to my heart, warming me all over, as if his warmth could reach my soul.
Julian let go and I turned around to face him. He had a schoolboy smile on his face and he looked so boyish and charming at that moment that I wanted to pinch him because he looked adorable. “Hugging Amber made me realize that I don’t really hug you as much. I thought you’d like it.”
I narrowed my eyes at him playfully and then pushed him away. “Make sure that my best friend is entertained and…”