“I can’t wait to get home to find those cards. I saw them somewhere recently but don’t remember where, and it’s going to bother me until I find them.” As she stepped onto the front porch, she added, “And I’m going to call Chris and see if he still has his and if he knows where they are.”
Liddy stood in the doorway for a few minutes, even after Emma disappeared at the end of the block, watching the lengthening shadows as dusk crept in. She locked up, then went into the kitchen, where she grabbed the check from the table and tucked it into the pocket of her pants. Taking her glass of wine to the back deck, she lowered herself onto one of the comfy lounges and momentarily closed her eyes, savoring the gentle breeze laden with the scent of the last of the summer roses blowing across the yard. She finished the wine and set the glass on a nearby table. Her body was tired, and she easily could have fallen asleep, but her mind was racing, reliving the conversation with Emma.
She looked out across the yard, where the white flowers she’d planted in the garden beds here and there glowed in the growing darkness. The path to the carriage house was illuminated by the solar lights she’d installed at the beginning of the summer. There were nights when sleep would not come, nights when she’d followed that path and unlocked the side door, slipped inside, and climbed the steps to the second-floor apartment, where Jessie had lived for the last three years of her life.
“I want to move home, Mom.” Jessie had unexpectedly appeared in the kitchen early on a Saturday morning when a curious Liddy had followed her nose to the scent of coffee she had not made. She had found Jessie sitting at the table, her hands wrapped around a mug she’d bought for her father years before on a trip to New York. She’d twisted her long silver-blonde hair in one hand and let it fall over her left shoulder. “I want to paint full-time. Unfortunately, having not sold a damned thing, my art isn’t supporting me, so paying rent is a problem.”
“Of course you can come home, Jess. You don’t even need to ask. Your room is always there for you.”
“I was actually thinking of the carriage house.”
“You mean the second floor? The apartment?”
Jessie had nodded.
“Oh, honey. No one’s lived there for over a decade. I haven’t even been in there in at least five years. I’m sure it’s a total mess. God knows what kind of critters may have moved in.”
“So I can clean it up, fix what needs to be fixed.” She had grinned. “Move the wildlife out if necessary. It’ll be fine.”
“Right now, there’s no water, no heat, no utilities of any kind.”
“But all that can be hooked up, right?”
“Yeah, but what’s wrong with living here in the house?”
“Well, for one thing, I’m almost thirty, and that’s too old to be living under the same roof as your parents.” Before Liddy could comment, Jess had added, her eyes shining, “And if memory serves correctly, there’s that big room across the back with all those windows and all that perfect light. I could set up a studio there. I could work there.”
“You could work there and still live here. You don’t have to . . .”
“Yeah, Mom. I really do.” Jess had fisted her right hand and placed it in the middle of her chest. “I need time to find out if I really am as good as I think I am. I keep feeling like it’s now or never. Like time is running out. Like I’m wasting my life waitressing six days a week to make enough to pay the rent. On my day off, I have a million errands to run and I’m exhausted. I’ve been trying to paint, but I know I can do better. I figured I could get a part-time job here doing something—doesn’t matter what—just so I can make enough for food and to pay you and Dad for whatever utilities I use. But if I don’t have that rent payment hanging over my head at the beginning of every month, maybe I can do some decent work.”
“Your work is more than decent, Jess. You’re exceptionally talented. Everyone recognized that long ago.”
“Thanks, Mom. But I’m having a hard time supporting myself and finding time to paint. I tried everything I could think of. I had roommates, but as you may recall, that hasn’t worked out so well.”
Liddy had recalled. Two party girls who played loud music and entertained their friends four or five nights out of seven.
“I tried living with Cal for a while, but he didn’t understand boundaries. I need to be left alone to work, but he thought when I was home, I should be there for him. The apartment I’m in now is really small, but it’s the only thing I could afford on my own. Paying for it eats up all my time and most of my energy, so I’m not getting much done. I could have stayed in that nice town house with Laurie and Sharon, or I could have stayed with Cal and played house, and I’d have as much work to show as I do now. Mom, I need to be by myself. I can’t focus when someone else is around. It’s like other people’s energy gets in my way. If I’m under your roof, as much as I love you and Dad, it would be hard for me to tell you to please go away and let me paint.”
Finally, Liddy had nodded. “I get it. I do. And you’re right. You need your space.”
“I hate to impose on you and Dad, but . . .”
Liddy had held up a hand. “You’re not imposing, Jess. This is your home. We’re your parents, we love you, and we will always support you, no matter what. But I’m afraid the apartment needs so much work.”
Jim had come into the kitchen dressed in his usual weekend garb, worn jeans and a Brown University sweatshirt. “Hello, pumpkin. How’s my silver girl?” He’d sung a line from an old Simon and Garfunkel tune—“Bridge over Troubled Water”—and kissed the top of his daughter’s head. “Nice surprise, finding you here. What’s the occasion? And what apartment are we talking about?”
He’d poured himself a cup of coffee. “And why are we talking about apartments? Are you looking to move again?”
Jim had joined Jess and Liddy at the table and listened as Jess repeated what she’d told her mother.
“Of course you can live there if you feel that’s the best place for you. I don’t remember the place being all that bad, but we can go take a look.” He’d smiled across the table at Liddy. “And we’ll fix whatever needs fixing to make it comfortable. Your mom and I have always believed in your talent, Jess. You deserve the time to explore and see where it takes you. Let’s get some breakfast; then we’ll walk out back and take a look at the old place. See what shape it’s in and we’ll take it from there.”
They’d ended up investing several thousand dollars in updates, but in the end, Jess had gleefully danced through each room, finally declaring, “It’s perfect. Everything is perfect.” She’d launched herself onto her parents, embracing them both. “I can’t thank you enough. You guys are the best!”
“Just be happy. Do your best work,” Jim had told her. “Here’s your chance to prove to the world you are a serious artist. Time to show everyone what you’ve got, kiddo.”
The feelings the memory of that day brought back rolled themselves into a ball and settled in Liddy’s chest, making it hard for her to breathe. She rose from the lounge and went inside for the keys to the carriage house.