Only one person—Evermund—had ever given to me while asking nothing in return. I had tricked him into the responsibility of my apprenticeship, but he had never once tried to get out of it. And when the king and the Triumvirate heaped responsibilities on my head, he had done his best to help me—fought for me, even.
I missed him with an ache that nearly brought tears to my eyes. If only he was here now so I could ask him what I should do. Because the one question that echoed around my head scared me more than any question had ever done.
What did I want?
It was the first time in my life I had fully put aside what everyone else needed from me and instead considered only what I wanted to do. And I didn’t know the answer.
Chapter 15
Cadence
The next morning we boarded the barges earlier than the day before, everyone putting on a show of bravery, despite the palpable tension in the air. Gia herded both Karielle and me onto the front barge with her, although I noticed Bryce had lost his enthusiasm to be included with the royals, disappearing off toward the apprentice’s barge instead.
“Don’t worry,” Karielle said when she saw me watching his retreating back. “I don’t get seasick.”
“That’s one blessing at least,” Augusta muttered as she skirted around us and onto the barge.
According to Gia, Augusta had been largely responsible for keeping our barge together through the beating it received, her power proving remarkably effective despite the age of the wood used in the vessel’s construction. Some of the other barges hadn’t made it through in such solid shape, and emergency repair works had been completed overnight.
Augusta looked just as spry as usual, however, and at least a decade younger than what must be her true age. With a grin, the other girls and I followed her on board. We didn’t join her in the cabin, however, this time taking up positions in the prow instead of the stern.
I drank in the uninterrupted view of the river ahead, the sun sparkling off the moving water. The way it foamed and flowed over the hull was mesmerizing, and I had to fight the desire to dive in and swim in the cool blue, as I had done so many times in Lake Aterra growing up. As the sun grew warmer, the water only looked more and more inviting, the color a beautiful contrast to the deep green of the forest along the eastern shore.
Zeke and Nikolas joined us, and as the hours passed without incident, we all increasingly relaxed. From time to time, Zeke would shoot a questioning look at me, but I could detect no rise in the almost negligible levels of tainted power around us.
Each time I nodded back at Zeke reassuringly, he looked a little more relieved. And the gaps between his silent questions grew larger.
“Isn’t that fresh wind just delicious?” Gia turned her face into it and closed her eyes.
“Thus speaks the elements apprentice,” Zeke said. “Personally, I’d like a chance to stop and explore that forest.”
I’d noticed his gaze glued to the eastern bank instead of looking ahead—an understandable focus for a plants mage, given the unexplored tangle of greenery on that side. Karielle nodded enthusiastically, in complete agreement, and even Nikolas couldn’t entirely hide his interest.
After Airlie disappeared, Nikolas had refused to allow Augusta to activate his plants seed. Apparently, he had told his parents that having been promised an elements influence, he intended to have it from one elements mage or another.
Perhaps sick of fighting with their children—or else distracted by the other crises of the moment—they relented. One of the librarians had unearthed an ancient exception that allowed royal children to be activated by a member of their family but trained within the Guild. So Evermund had agreed to activate Nikolas as long as his training happened under the Master of Plants.
Usually, Nikolas talked as if the elements influence was the only part of his ability that mattered, but every now and then he couldn’t help demonstrating his interest in plants. It seemed inevitable with an ability as strong as his. Now that it was activated, he must feel a constant awareness and pull toward growing things—like I did with the power around me.
But when he caught me watching him, he quickly turned his gaze back to the river ahead of us. I shook my head and turned away as well. If he wanted to deny who he truly was, that was his mistake.
This time we sailed until the late afternoon, stopping when the campsite came into view, the tents only just starting to be raised. It was a leisurely and enjoyable way to travel, carried along by the river’s current, as long as you could put aside the memory of the attack.
It took us several days in that manner to reach the mouth of the river and the sea beyond. We left the boats for the last time with the vastness of the ocean in view. Even I, who had no hint of the elements affinity about me, could appreciate the mesmerizing quality of the endless, moving water in its shifting shades.
I had never seen the ocean before, and being here now felt surreal. I just wished Airlie could have experienced it with me. When we were young, our mother’s stories of the ocean had been her favorites, Airlie’s eyes shining as she asked questions about its size and the elegant wooden ships that plied its waters.
“The air tastes different,” I said in surprise, licking my lips. “And the salt smell is so strong.”
Despite the descriptions my mother had given, it had been impossible to accurately picture it.
Zeke grinned at me. “I love falling asleep to the sound of the waves. My favorite routes growing up were the ones that took us near the ocean.”
The nomad kingdom’s western border was one long coast, framing a long stretch of grazing lands, so he had likely spent a lot of time near the ocean as a child. Now that I had experienced it for myself, I envied him.
“I never understood Airlie’s fascination with the sea,” I said. “We grew up near Lake Aterra, and I always imagined the ocean was just a bigger version of the lake. But it’s different.”
“I would love to see Lake Aterra one day,” Zeke said.
“We’re not going that far north.” Nikolas strolled over to join the conversation. “The southernmost part of the lake is in Tartora, and both rivers flow from it, but it isn’t the safest place to be right now. Not with most of the lake’s bulk across the border in the fallen kingdom.”
I frowned at his words, thinking of our little house, tucked in its valley. It sat empty now—unless the raiders had found it. Had it been hit by tainted power like the barges? It might be in splinters if so.
I shook away the thought. My world had expanded so far beyond that house that my childhood there felt almost like a dream.
“How is it going with your new friends?” I asked Nikolas.
He looked down his nose at me. “You mean the nomads? They’ve been nothing but kind. You should consider spending more time with them.”
“I’ve spent enough, thanks,” I said shortly.
He shook his head. “Don’t let Gia hear you say that. She’s already reluctant as it is. Pure foolishness, of course. Tartora needs the nomads—we rely on them for trade—and this is a rare chance to forge bonds we can use in the future. I, at least, don’t intend to waste the opportunity.”
He turned and strolled away, and I watched him go, struck by his words. He was right that I hadn’t seen Gia interacting much with the nomads. Was he also right that she was missing a crucial opportunity—one her twin was making the most of?