I groaned. “Yes, because I’m a glutton for punishment. But . . .”
“But?”
“I don’t trust him. With the Freiheit hack the very night he arrived, it all seems too coincidental. He’s a pretty good hacker, and he was outside the ballroom when it happened.” I let it all out against my better judgment, realizing as I rattled on that I was too intoxicated to be having this conversation, and with Evgenia of all people. I slapped a hand over my mouth, as if to take it back. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have . . . I know you’re his friend.” Friend, and possible accomplice, I realized. None of them had passed the background checks yet. Evgenia remembered too.
“So that’s why there was the whole thing with the checks,” she said. “We’re not involved with that faction. Elliot didn’t help them. None of us did; I promise you that.” Evgenia worried her bottom lip with her teeth. “Leo, you’re really nice, and I—” She sighed. “I had no idea you were Elliot’s target, I promise. I’m going to talk to him. He needs to stop this charade; it’s gone too far.”
“Oh, God, no, don’t do that.” Panic shot through me. “I’d be mortified if he knew, if he thought that I was still desperately in love with him or something, and that I needed you to go to bat for me.”
“Are you desperately in love with him?”
She stopped me short with her question. I took a breath, ready to reply, then deflated back into the pillows for a moment to think. “I don’t know,” I said finally. It was as close as I could get to the truth that I was willing to admit to myself. My feelings for Elliot were complicated. He’d turned into a bit of a dick, but the worst parts of me loved his fire, regardless. I could give as good as he gave; as ever, we were stubbornly well-matched. I hadn’t been my best self either since his return.
“Fine, I won’t talk to him about that,” Evgenia said, clearly not happy about it. “However, you need to talk to your sister. Or does she know that you two were engaged and you still have feelings for him, and she’s throwing herself at him, regardless?”
“Carina knows about the relationship, not the engagement. And she thinks I’m over it. I told her I was over it,” I said. “And it’s not entirely her fault. He matched with her at speed dating. He said yes.”
Evgenia furrowed her brow. She had no ready reply, some explanation that would excuse Elliot. “Well, you need to talk to your sister anyway. If she doesn’t back off to spare your feelings, then she’s a horrible person. Your suffering in silence is a terrible idea, and their getting married is out of the question. It’ll torture you.”
“Okay, I’ll talk to her. But there’s the bigger problem of Klara,” I said, feeling my jaw lock and fighting to keep my teeth from grinding together. “She’s gunning for him too.”
Evgenia snorted. “I could tell. She has the subtlety of a speeding meteor. You’ll have to talk to her, too, then.”
I shook my head. “I did talk to her tonight. She said it’s really obvious he doesn’t like me anymore, so I should back off.”
“I kind of hate her. Is that okay to say? Since she’s your cousin?”
“Right now, I kind of hate her too,” I had to admit. “I don’t understand what’s gotten into her, to be honest. She wants to get married less than I do. Or wanted.” I exhaled heavily through my nose. “I don’t even want Elliot for myself. I’ve resigned myself to it being over. But I can’t bear her having him.”
I ducked my head to avoid Evgenia’s piercing stare. She was calling bullshit.
“We’re going to fix this,” Evgenia said, clapping her hands. “I will be your wing-woman. Elliot’s my friend, and you’re my friend, and frankly I am kicking myself for not seeing all of this before, because only thinking about it for two seconds, it’s supremely obvious how perfect you are for each other. Of course you were in love.”
Were. I flinched at her use of the past tense. She noticed.
“Oh, Leo,” she said, and then she pulled me into another well-needed hug. “Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out. I’ll do everything short of talking to Elliot. It’ll work out. You’ll see.”
The warm circle of her arms seeped into my weary bones, and a spark of hope ignited somewhere deep inside me. Maybe this was just what I needed. Someone to talk to, be honest with, who didn’t blame me and wasn’t trying to win Elliot for herself. I hugged her back and allowed my hope to burst into a raging flame.
Twelve
Breakfast was awkward.
I’d pretended I hadn’t known what Elliot meant—did it bother me that people might think we had something between us? The deflection about my sister was a jab at him, a sidestep of my true feelings. But I would not expose myself, be vulnerable, especially not in light of Evgenia revealing his plans. How could I trust that his revenge scheme was over, that everything Elliot had been doing wasn’t a part of that long game? His apologies, coming to my defense, teasing me about old times. I couldn’t trust any of it.
Elliot stared at a point just past my head, though I didn’t miss the way his eyes flicked down to my chest every so often. Each time, he would flinch, catching himself and immediately going back to looking anywhere but at me.
It was Evgenia’s fault. She’d insisted I come to breakfast in my too-small nightie.
“He won’t know you have a change of clothes from yesterday,” she’d said with a sly smile, and so here I was, feeling half naked and exposed at the dining room table.
I became very interested in my food, examining each piece of soy bacon before putting it in my mouth. I spent a full minute carefully buttering my toast. Anything to avoid conversation.
Meanwhile, Evgenia prattled on, trying to facilitate a successful social interaction.
“The DJ was quite good last night, don’t you think?”
I nodded. Elliot grunted in the affirmative.
Evgenia let out a belabored sigh.
“I’m glad we turned in early. Good thinking, Leo,” she said. “I loathe hangovers, and I’m always drinking far past my expiration date. You turned in early too, El.”
“Um, yes, I was very tired,” he said, forced to engage in actual conversation. Evgenia nodded enthusiastically.
“Well, you almost got into a fistfight, so I can only imagine.”
“It was a mistake,” he mumbled. His eyes darted up to mine. I nearly choked on my tea. He looked away.
“I’m sure Leo doesn’t see it that way.”
Maybe I should have told Evgenia about our fight. Elliot merely raised an eyebrow and let the subject drop.
“Where are Max and Ewan?” I asked, looking to fill the void with safe small talk.
“Oh, they’re off-ship. On a cargo run that came up and paid too well to pass on,” Evgenia said breezily. “Should be back tomorrow.”
My wrist tab pinged with a message from my aunt. Background checks on all guests cleared, it said. I must have blanched, because Elliot asked if everything was okay. I met his gaze, finding worry there, which I promptly torpedoed.
“My aunt says you all passed your background checks,” I said, not even thinking to lie.