As impossible as it seemed, the little holes made by the stitches were still present. In some ways, it felt like it had happened months and months ago. Had it only been a few days? Weeks?
Three weeks.
That was how long my uncle would be gone. Getting his knee fixed.
So—only weeks? Maybe?
The calluses on his fingers traced a light, if rough, path along the jagged cut all the way to the reddened and still scabbed line on my palm. I’d scrubbed off the scab—oh, when I’d washed my hands earlier. I’d barely even noticed it. The skin beneath the scab was also fresh and flushed. A flash of Mr. Cole digging the glass shard into my forearm and raking it toward my wrists flooded my mind.
I pulled my hands away and folded my arms. These were the kind of scars that lasted a long time.
Scars I couldn’t hide inside.
“Who?” It was the only thing Rome asked. When I would have answered in the negative, he wrapped a hand around my nape. The gentle pressure had me tilting my head back to meet his gaze. “Who, Starling? Who hurt you?”
The voices from the other room stopped abruptly. It was as though the sudden lack of noise reminded me Liam and Freddie were still here.
Looking down at my arms, I flexed my fingers. It still hurt to touch my fingertips to my thumbs. The flexion reminding me there was scar tissue inside as well as out. Not that I’d even been able to dance in the last—however long it had been. No dancing. No music.
No…
“She had them when I found her.” Freddie’s quiet voice carried. “I know why I have mine. But maybe leave her alone for now and just let her shower? It’s been a shitty, shitty day.”
Maybe. “But we’re out.”
Rome hadn’t moved, his presence warm and solid at my back. The worry darkening his eyes tore at me. Worry. Hurt. Sadness.
I’d done that.
Twisting away from the mirror, I faced Rome. My heart thudded against my ribs in a painful cadence. “I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t do that,” Rome said patiently.
“No.” I hadn’t tried to kill myself. A wave of pure fatigue struck and I leaned back against the counter. The cold seeped through the pajamas. “I left.”
“I know.” Rome shrugged.
“I had to, he threatened all of you.”
“No, you were wrong. We’ll protect you.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Actually,” Liam said as he joined us, but he didn’t push into the bathroom, which was good cause it wasn’t that big. Arms folded, he stared at me. “It is that simple, Hellspawn. We will protect you.”
The earlier fear resurfaced from beneath the layers of cotton and static. “You don’t understand what my uncle…”
Reaching past Rome, Liam caught my wrist lightly. The warmth of his hand on my skin just seemed to emphasize how icy I was. A fresh wave of shudders washed over me. Just like his brother before him, Liam studied the fresh scars.
“Your uncle did this?”
It was a yes or no question and the twins stared at me with equal intensity. All the moisture in my mouth fled. “No.” I managed to croak out the word. “One of the men who works for him.”
“Name?” Rome asked, even as Liam stroked his thumb over the pulse in my wrist.
“He was new…”
“Name?”
I owed the guard nothing. Absolutely nothing. But I didn’t want Liam or Rome getting hurt. The weight of their patience closed in around me. It could have been suffocating, but it wasn’t. Neither was going to give up. “Mr. Cole.”
“Did he hurt you anywhere else?” Liam flicked a look over me.
“A threat, only,” I admitted. “One of the other guards stopped him.”
“How many guards, Hellspawn?”
“Six. That I remember.” I frowned. “I tried to get away when I first got there. I thought—if I ran once we were back—he’d focus on me and not all of you.” I licked my lips. “I hurt my uncle.”
“Good,” Rome said.
“But they electrocuted the fence and I didn’t realize it before I grabbed it.”
At that, Liam ran his thumb from my wrist to the mark across my palm. It had been a burn. I could see all of that almost clearly, but I was so divorced from the emotions around all of it.
“Hellspawn?” His soft voice coaxed me to look at him. “Do you want to stay here? Or do you want to go back? To Braxton Harbor?”
“He’ll know I’m there.”
“I don’t care.”
But I did. And at the same time—”I want to go back.” I closed my eyes. Closed out all the torment and intensity the two of them seemed to carry. “I wanted to keep you safe, but you followed me. You guys—came to get me.” It was so hard to wrap my mind around.
“Did you think we wouldn’t?” Disappointment edged Liam’s voice. “I was right there at the airport.”
Another wave of guilt hit.
“She’s learning,” Rome said. “Leave her alone.”
“Shower, Hellspawn.” Liam seemed to be relenting. "Food is coming. I want a doctor to look—”
“No.” I straightened. “No more doctors. No more drugs. No floating places with white static.” The cold on my skin seemed to have made it all the way to my bones.
I didn’t care what they said. No more fucking doctors. None.
Rome nodded. “Doc can look at her. You want us to stay or be alone to shower?”
Doc? No, I did not want Doc to look at me either. I shook my head and then folded my arms. A part of me wanted to ask them to stay but the rest of me…
“Can we leave the door open a little?”
There was something in the way Liam watched me that left me with no doubts that he wanted to know what was going on inside of me. What secrets was I hiding? What hadn’t I told them? If he kept looking—he just might find them.
They came to get me. The shock of finding Freddie at Pinetree renewed all over again.
“We can do whatever you need,” Liam promised.
“I’ll be right outside,” Rome offered.
“Thank you.”
Then they were out of the door and it was three-quarters closed, leaving the smallest gap. If I looked at it through the mirror, I could see Rome’s arm where he leaned against the wall. He was doing exactly what he said.
He was waiting.
Freddie came into Pinetree.
Liam and Rome were waiting for us as soon as we were out. We were nowhere near Braxton Harbor. They didn’t just happen to be here.
Bracing my hands against the counter, I stared at myself in the mirror. All I wanted to do was close my eyes, curl up and go to sleep without being doped, tied down, or monitored.
Or touched by people I didn’t know.
If no one ever touched me again, it would be nice.
My wrist tingled where Liam had gripped me. For all the strength he and Rome possessed, they hadn’t squeezed or made me feel anything other than safe.
“Starling?” Rome’s voice was so soft I almost didn’t hear it.
“I’m here.”
“I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me too,” I admitted. “I’m sorry I left.”