Justine
Hangman drops me at home a little after ten and I go straight back to bed. It’s not often I’m out late at night, having a wild time, and last night proved it since I’m actually sleeping more than I ever have.
I have so much going through my head right now that I don’t sleep for long, so I get up to make myself a hot chocolate. Hangman wants me as his; he barely knows me yet wants to claim me. It doesn’t make any sense. Plus, we’ve only had one date, how does he know he wants me? I’ve never been one to believe in love at first sight. Lust at first sight sure, but this is going warp speed.
He said the next time he brings me to his clubhouse it’s to get me tatted up as his. And while the idea turns me on, I don’t want to be owned, branded like cattle. Plus, I just got out of a long-term committed relationship. Sure, we were mostly just friends with benefits but still. Isn’t there a rule about moving on too soon?
And this is fast. Or maybe it’s just me, considering Tomas has been my only boyfriend.
“Knock, knock,” Tomas calls out, entering the house. He got the keys to his new house a few days ago and has been slowly moving all of his things over. Which reminds me, I’m going to need to place an order for new furniture, otherwise I’ll be sitting on the floor. Most of the items were his, except the bedroom stuff.
“Hey, stranger.” I smile at him.
“You got home late,” he states, giving me a sly wink.
I laugh and shrug, “Yeah, I guess. I’m exhausted, but too much shit is running through my head for me to get any sleep.”
“Wanna talk about it?” he asks, leaning against the wall.
Sighing, I take my cup of hot chocolate and sit at my dining room table, the only real piece of furniture I have since Tomas moved out with all of his things. “Hangman is a typical biker, like Sons of Anarchy only, much, much more.”
Tomas smirks and pulls out a chair to sit down. “So, he’s no Jax Teller.” He shrugs.
I groan, leaning back in my chair. “He’s so far from Jax Teller it isn’t funny, he’s rough, he’s intense, he’s demanding. He’s one hundred percent an alpha male. Which doesn’t sit right with me.”
Tomas snorts and places a hand over mine. “That’s because you’re an alpha yourself, you guys butt heads already or something?”
“No, he just told me I was his and next time I was at his clubhouse he was claiming me.” I’m still scratching my head over that bit of information. “You and I just ended a sexual relationship, and now I’m already whoring around with someone else, not even a month later. And now this guy, who I only had one date with, or more precisely, one night of sex with, is saying I’m his.”
Tomas gives my hand a gentle squeeze and smiles at me. “I think this is a good thing, you need someone that challenges you. And what you just described to me, well, seems like he’s got you cornered. And I love that for you.”
Narrowing my eyes at him, I hold it until he drops my gaze. “What’s going on, Tomas? Are you okay?” Something isn’t right, why is Tomas acting this way?
Tomas sighs and lets go of my hand and scratches the back of his neck, something he does when he’s nervous.
“Hey, whatever it is, it’ll be okay. I got you,” I tell him reassuringly.
He blows out a breath and finally looks up to me. “I’ve been hiding this part of myself for so long, worried about what it would do to you. Hell, I even brought another woman home a few weeks back for you to meet so you’d see I was okay with us just being friends.”
Confusion litters my face. “What are you talking about? Are you not happy that we’re not together anymore? Do you want to go back to us?”
“No, no, that’s not what I’m getting at. Shit, I suck at this. The truth is, I’m attracted to men. I have been for a while now, but I didn’t want to come out because I was worried you’d think there was something wrong with you.”
I snort a laugh, “Dude, that’s great, I’m so happy you’re embracing this side of you. So, are you bisexual or just flat-out gay?” I’m honestly happy for him. Over the years, I have to say I’m not totally blind, but I’d see the way he’d check guys out. I never said anything because I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable.
“I’m bisexual but lean more towards men.”
I stand up and move around to him, sitting on his lap. “I’m so happy you’re embracing your truth,” I tell him honestly and give him a hug.
I move back, and give him a watery smile, and am about to say more, when my phone starts going crazy.
“Who the hell is that?” Tomas asks bewildered.
Sighing, I get off his lap and go to my phone and show him.
He raises a brow, “You’d think she’d get the hint that you want nothing to do with her.”
“Yeah, but you know Eileen, she can’t wrap her head around anyone not wanting anything to do with her. She’ll forever be a pain in my ass, I bet.” Since we moved, my mother has tried calling, texting, and emailing, the whole works. But after talking with my therapist, it’s been agreed that I need to keep the toxic bullshit my mother brings to the table, out of my life. I even changed my phone number, but she managed to somehow get that, too.
I groan when my phone chimes again and see I have ten new text messages, all from her. “Looks like another therapy session about my mother is in order. I don’t even want to open these messages.”
“Then don’t, you said everything you needed to say to her months ago. It was pretty final what you said. It’s not your problem she doesn’t listen and is trying to still make your life hell.”
“Yeah, well, tell that to every other person out in the world that keeps posting all over Facebook about how much they love their mother, and how no matter what happens, you shouldn’t ever turn your back on her.”
Tomas snorts. “Sure, but if people knew about your mother, they’d understand.”
“Not likely, I lost one of my author friends the other day because I made a post about abusive mothers, and she commented saying I needed to forgive her because life is short. I’m sorry but no, you don’t live twenty plus years with abuse to just turn a blind eye to it.”
“Hey, Justine, calm down, you’re getting worked up over nothing. She lives on the island, she’s not here, simmer.”
He’s right. Why I let my mother get me so worked up, I will never know. It’s just a trigger of mine, I guess.
“You’re right. Enough of this, I’ll just block her.” With a few button-pushes, it’s done, blocked. “You wanna go shopping with me today? I need some new furniture since you just finished taking all yours out of here.”
“I’m down for that, I also need bedroom furniture and kitchen stuff.”
We fist bump, then laugh. “Let’s roll.”
Chapter Nineteen
Hangman
I get home early in the evening, to get ready to go over to Justine’s for the night. I haven’t seen her since I dropped her off yesterday morning. But I’ve texted with her. My phone rings just as I’m heading out the door and I see that it’s April. My daughter Emily’s mother.