“Decker,” she said.
The alpha wasn’t looking at her, but at his father. “Were you encouraging her?”
“Don’t look at me like that, Decker. You’re my alpha now, but I am still your father.”
“Father? How can you call yourself that when you’re not even going to stop her from leaving?”
“Hey!” She didn’t like either man talking about her as if she wasn’t there. “I’m right here, and you have no right yelling at your father. He did nothing wrong. All he did was listen to me, and maybe if you did that from time to time, you might actually learn something.”
She was so angry at him. How dare he talk to his father like that?
“I want permission to leave the pack. It is time for me to move on, and I think it’s quite reasonable of me to suggest that you agree,” she said.
“Not happening. You’re not going anywhere.”
“Are you for real right now? You do know that in front of the entire pack you rejected me.” She slammed her palm against her chest. Why was he behaving this way? It made no sense.
“You’re not leaving. You’re still part of this pack, and your position here is not going to anyone else.
Was he saying he wouldn’t be with anyone else? She was so confused. “You can’t do this.” There had to be a way for her to fight it, to fight him.
“I can do this. To leave this pack, you have to get permission from the alpha, which is me. I don’t grant it. To go out on your own would risk you going rogue, and I don’t think you’re going to do that either.” Decker took a step toward her, and for the first time since that night, she hated him. Not just hated but despised him. “You’re staying here within this pack.”
The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. This wasn’t just any order because it came from the alpha, which meant she would break so many rules to defy him.
“Fine. If I can’t leave, then I’m going to make sure your life is fucking miserable while I’m here. You’re going to beg me to leave. Let’s hope I listen to you.”
The desire to punch him was strong, but she had sworn against violence many years ago. Especially after she saw some men attack each other, and the blood that came from that incident. She didn’t see violence as the key, but more of a trap that kept men in place.
She turned her back on Decker and stormed out of the town hall. If he wanted to keep her here, that was fine, but his life would never be the same again.
****
“Why did you do that, son?”
Decker looked toward his dad and shook his head. “You were going to let her leave. She had come to you because she knows that you can grant her an exit.” All previous alphas were granted some level of power, especially if they had stepped aside, and their dethroning hadn’t been done via violence.
The day his father stepped down from running the pack, he’d been so shocked. His dad was so strong, Decker couldn’t believe he would give up the pack that easily.
Only, Decker Senior hadn’t given up the pack easily. He said it was time for him to move on, and he simply waited for him to be ready.
There were moments he didn’t feel ready. Like now, with Misha. The thought of her leaving the pack filled him with panic. It just couldn’t happen. She was his mate. Even though he’d pushed her aside and treated her like she didn’t matter, it was all a lie.
“I wasn’t going to do anything, but Misha had a lot of things to say, and I figured if someone took the time to listen to her, she might not get up and leave. I know she’s a valued member of this community. She would be missed. What you need to stop doing, son, is pushing men away.”
He growled. He couldn’t help it.
The thought of any male being close to her set his teeth on edge. It just … it couldn’t happen. “No.”
“You’re being unreasonable, not me. Misha is worried about you taking a mate, and she would have to sit back and watch that. No woman should have to watch her mate be with another woman.”
“There is no other woman.” He wasn’t about to tell his father his fear of what taking a mate meant to him. Of how he was afraid of his woman taking her life because she could no longer handle the pressures of being the alpha’s mate. He had no desire to take any woman. The only woman he wanted was … Misha.
He craved her.
Denying himself wasn’t easy. He had to have her.
The urges he faced every single day were so strong, but he somehow found the strength to keep her at arm’s length. It was never easy, but to keep her alive, he was willing to do whatever the hell it took.
His father stared at him. This wasn’t just some look that a father gave an annoying son, or the kind that said he knew he was making some kind of mistake. His father wasn’t just standing in front of him, but also his alpha.
“Stop that.”
“Son, what happened to your mother was unfortunate, but it doesn’t mean other women will follow that same path. Misha is not like your mother. Not even close.”
“Mom was a free spirit. You’ve seen Misha.”
“No, your mother was a submissive spirit. She never wanted to make any real decisions. You are blinded by fear right now. There are a lot of things you don’t know about your mother, or why she did what she did.”
Decker held up his hand. “I don’t want, nor do I need to hear it.”
He glanced around the town hall. He’d spent his day here, and thinking of Misha seeking him out to leave didn’t exactly fill him with a great deal of love. No, he needed to get out, to run, to get the hell away from the whole pack.
Without another word to his father, he took off. He didn’t stop for anyone, charging toward the forest.
He wasn’t controlled by the full moon. He and his wolf were perfectly in sync with one another. Nothing could come between them, and the moment he stripped off his clothes and ran, he felt the calling of his wolf taking over.
They were attuned.
The feel of the earth beneath his feet was powerful to him. He wanted to run, to clear his head, to get rid of the desire to go and claim her.
She’s ours.
Never had he felt this need before, but seeing Misha, hearing her want to leave, it was making it impossible for him to fight.
He came to a sudden stop, paws digging into the earth as he thought about Misha. A picture of her playing over his mind.
For three years, he’d stayed away, watched her, craved the few times he got to see her. The way she smiled, which lit up her whole face. Even when she frowned, she looked so fucking cute. When she concentrated, from time to time, her tongue would stick out at the side, and she’d be so deep in thought, nothing would stop her. The pack loved her, and the truth was, so did he.
He did love her.
The moment he realized she was his mate, he knew he was lucky, but the moment he’d seen her, he’d also known he couldn’t have her.
Being the person to find his mother’s dead body had stuck with him. Under the pressures of being alpha, he’d promised himself he would never put that kind of life on his mate.
What Decker hadn’t expected was his feelings for Misha to be so strong. He fought them on a daily basis. They never went away and only got stronger with each passing second. Some days he’d get close to her just to inhale her vanilla fragrance.