She nodded, not as fast.
Rix wasn’t a fan of that.
“You fucking are,” he growled.
“Okay, Rix.”
“Christ,” he bit, and began pacing again, and there was silence while he did it.
Alex broke it.
“Can I…I sense there’s something about that bottle.”
He stopped and looked at her. “Brian gave me that bottle.”
She turned her attention to the remains splattered across her floor, revulsion on her face and in her two words. “I see.”
“Yeah, so, you know, perfect fucking present for your fucking dad.”
Her gaze shot back to him, and now he saw surprised humor.
“I’m not joking. He deserves five-hundred-dollars’ worth of guilt,” Rix decreed. “Or he did. Now it’s toast.”
“You have a point,” she murmured.
“Don’t be goddamned cute,” he growled.
She pressed her lips together.
“Pull that shit with leaving it at my house,” he grumbled. “Now what am I gonna give your dad?”
“Um…nothing?” she suggested.
“Babe, have you met my mom?”
“Uh, yes.”
“She drilled it into me. Someone lets you stay at their house, you give them a gift.”
“We didn’t give your mom and dad a gift.”
His brows snapped together. “We were staying at my house. They’d lose their shit, we did something whacked like that when I came home for a visit.”
“Of course. I see the difference,” she mumbled.
Jesus.
He drew in a big breath.
Then he shared, “Judge was right. You gotta be less protective of me. I’m a big boy. It’s time I start acting like it. I gotta get my head outta my goddamn ass. I miss my friends. They miss me. This shit I’m pulling is bullshit. Judge knows how to push me. When he does, don’t push back. Let him do it.”
She knew exactly what he was talking about.
“Okay,” she agreed.
“Still, this is your house. If you’re not comfortable with having a big party, you don’t have a big fucking party.”
“Okay,” she said again.
Even so, he demanded, “Are you hearing me, Alexandra?”
“I’m right here, Rix. So, yes, I’m hearing you.”
“You aren’t, because you let me pull shit with you the last couple of days that was not on. Then you dropped that fucking bottle off and my key.”
“I—”
“You know what we are. We can barely be apart from one another.”
“No, we can’t,” she whispered.
“I get you need alone time. Time with your girls. I need time like that too. That’s not what I mean.”
There were tears in her eyes again, these a fuckuva lot different, when she replied, “I know what you mean.”
“I’m struggling,” he admitted.
She made her own admission. “I missed it.”
“You can’t possibly get it.”
“You’re right. I still missed it.”
Rix shut up.
Alex gave it a few beats.
Then she asked carefully, “Who’s coming?”
“What?”
“You said earlier, ‘when they come in the night.’ Who’s coming?”
“Intruders,” he grunted.
He watched her pull in a big breath.
Then she stated, “I am not making light of your concerns, honey, but home invasions don’t happen that often.”
“That isn’t the point.”
“I know,” she whispered.
“So you give me those eyes and those lashes. And Peri’s pulling her shit. And Brian shows his face. And I don’t think about it. It’s there. I know it’s there. But I can’t fucking think about it. So I bury it. I bury it with all the other shit I won’t let myself think about. And so you know where I’m at, I started shoveling when that fucking tree fell on me.”
Her eyes widened, then tender understanding filled them, and she asked softly, “Like what are you burying?”
“The new shit?”
She nodded encouragingly.
“Brian shows, and I realize I’m happy. I’m fucking happy. My feet and calves are incinerated or rotting somewhere, I don’t know. I didn’t ask what they did with them.”
Alex cringed.
Rix understood that.
“And still, I’m standing there, you right at my side, and I’m happy. And I don’t wanna blame him. My dad taught me, no matter the situation, always be the bigger man. Even if it costs you, eventually you’ll get that back, a hundred-fold. And I cannot be the bigger man for him. I cannot sugarcoat it. But still, I do. And he leaves seeing me standing with you, having it all, knowing I’m good. I’m happy. More than happy, I got it all. And he’s good. He leaves and I gave him what he needed. But he’s left me with new shit I have to deal with.”
“What shit?” she prompted when he stopped talking.
“Shit I don’t know what to do with. Like, go back and Brian doesn’t fuck up. Where does that leave me?”
She’d been with him, but that made her full-on perplexed.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“You’re on my back deck, so cute, tossing cushions around ’cause you’re so pissed Brian did what he did, then he shows, expecting me to make him feel better. And I’m watching you throw a hissy fit, using everything I got not to think about how I didn’t want to be anywhere but there.”
Now she gave him surprised confusion.
“I’m sorry, what?” she asked.
“With you, throwing pillows off my deck. I didn’t want to be anywhere else, but there with you.”
Now, completely mystified.
Jesus.
She was even cute totally lost.
“Babe,” he said patiently. “Think about it. If that tree didn’t fall on me, I’d be married to Peri. We might have a kid. Josh and Hailey’s wedding was supposed to happen just a couple of months before Peri and mine, and they already have a kid. Think about that. I’d be married to fucking Peri.”
“Um…”
Still confused, though now a little freaked.
“Judge would not need to get me a job at River Rain,” he went on.
She stared at him.
“Alex, honey, I would probably never have met you.”
Her body pulsed.
There it was.
“Yeah,” he said.
“Oh,” she said.
“Maybe on a hike with the kids or something. But I’d then be thinking how I got my shit in the sling of being married to a selfish, self-absorbed woman, and possibly allowing her to be the mother of my kid. I would not be thinking about the cute trail guide with all the hair and the great ass wondering what she’d think of my big dick.”
The dimple flirted with her cheek.
“Though, I hate to say this, especially to you, and remember, this is me trapped in an imaginary marriage with Peri, but even so, it’s gospel truth, if I got a good look at your ass, I might be thinking it.”
The dimple fully popped.
“So what? Now I’m supposed to be happy that tree fell on me?” he asked.