Bitter tried to feel something, but all she could come up with now was cold and empty space. “That sounds lovely. You should go rest out there. You deserve it.” She wondered if her words sounded as manufactured as they felt, but she did care deeply about Eddie, so they were probably true. They just belonged to a Bitter she couldn’t quite reach in that moment.
Someone knocked at the door, and Eddie stood up, wincing slightly. Bitter realized she was in more pain than she was showing. “I’m real sorry, B,” Eddie said. “I wish shit was different.”
“I real sorry, too.” Bitter pulled up a smile. “Thanks for being my friend while you could.”
Eddie smiled back, but it didn’t reach her remaining eye. She left the room as Ube entered, wearing a light blue caftan, his hair damp as he exchanged nods with Eddie. “Good, you’re awake,” he said to Bitter. Eddie closed the door behind her. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I just banished an angel,” Bitter replied, and Ube laughed, the sound dripping deep and sweet through the room. “What happened to the rest of them?”
“All the gates sent them back,” he answered. “It was easy once they figured out you were right, the angels have to do what y’all say.” Ube shook his head. “It was some spectacular shit. Between that and Miss Virtue? Whew.”
Bitter wasn’t sure she was ready to talk about Miss Virtue, but she had to ask. “Is she … okay?”
“Yeah, she’s back in human form. The other form only lasted for a few hours, but it was more than enough to get shit done.” He wheeled himself to the window and looked out. “A lot of shit done.”
Bitter wriggled up a bit, curious. “Like what?”
Ube turned and grinned. “Like getting the mayor to appoint a new council.”
“Yuh joking. Already?”
“Swear down. I ain’t never seen a man that scared in my life. He pissed himself twice.” Ube laughed. “But he agreed to all our terms. The city’s gonna seize and redistribute Theron’s assets, revamp the council to be more representative of the people, and yeah, shake things around.” His grin faded. “Feels like even with everything, the work is just starting in some ways, you know. It’s gonna be rough making this stick. Theron wasn’t the only problem, and the other elites are gonna fight back because their shit’s gonna get seized too, but I’m still counting this as a win.”
“That makes sense,” Bitter said, slowly processing the information, the new Lucille that was trying to form itself into existence. “It’s always been bigger than one person.”
“For sure. It’s a whole system. We just burned it to the ground, and now we building something better back up. I think Miss Bilphena even negotiated getting some Assata Elders on the new council.”
“For true?” Making Assata a part of Lucille’s governance was an enormous leap, but then again, inhuman progress could be made on the backs of angels. Bitter just wasn’t sure it was worth the costs, even with all the good news Ube was bringing. None of it would resurrect Mr. Nelson.
Ube scoffed. “It wasn’t much of a negotiation with Miss Virtue terrifying the crap out of him. He ain’t never gonna look at her the same.”
“I doh think any of us will,” Bitter muttered. “How many people died?”
Ube’s face sobered up even more. “It wasn’t your fault, Bitter.”
That didn’t matter. She needed to know; it had been lying in wait in the back of her mind, the looming possibility of uncountable losses. “How many, Ube?”
He sighed. “We’re not sure. The angels bust into Theron’s offices to get him, and part of the building collapsed. The city’s still dealing with the scene, but we lost civilians there, plus Theron’s entire security detail was killed.” Ube stopped and looked over at her. “This is shit that usually wouldn’t leave Assata, Bitter. I need you to understand that.”
Bitter nodded. “And the cops?”
A muscle jumped in his jaw. “Plainclothes shoot-out down by the north bridge. Five civilians died. We don’t know that the angels were involved in that one particularly, but with those fires and shit, everything was pure fucking chaos. We don’t have the body count for the cops themselves, but we know the angels took out a lot of them when they tried to interfere.”
Counting Mr. Nelson, that meant at least six innocent people had died since Bitter called Vengeance into existence. She exhaled a sharp burst of air from deep in her stomach, then pushed her feelings aside. “We cyah tell other people how the angels came through, Ube. Cyah risk this happening again.”
“Yeah, me and Miss Virtue talked about that. It’s better if people just think the angels are Assata’s angels, you know? The truth is something we have to protect right now.”
“But … everyone saw them in the park,” Bitter pointed out.
“You’d be surprised at how people can be convinced to revise their memories,” Ube said, his eyes shadowing. “Miss Virtue said to leave it to her. All Assata has to do is take responsibility and the new story will stick.”
Bitter stared at him. “The new story that one of you just … broke Theron’s neck in public? Yuh okay with that?”
He nodded. “Shit, better that than what really happened, feel me?”
Bitter could feel the weight of what this decision meant at a moment like this. It would be a lie. It would be a secret they would all have to keep for the rest of their lives. Her chest felt tight and heavy. “Everyone else agreed?”
Ube gave her a look. “They’re all Assata. They all know what needs to be done for Lucille to move on. As far as anyone’s concerned, the angels never happened, Bitter.” Even though it was a lie, a fantasy, the sound of it still sent a wave of relief through her. It must have shown in her face, because Ube took her hand and held it firmly in his. “It’s over, Bitter. Try to put all this behind you, and if you’re gonna remember anything, remember that at the end, you made a real difference.”
Her head was still ringing. “I did?”
Ube smiled sadly. “Don’t you get it? The revolution won. We won with blood in the streets, yeah, but still, it’s everything we’ve been fighting for. You know how long Assata’s been working for this, preparing for this? You calling Vengeance out tipped the scales.”
“We could’ve won another way,” Bitter countered. “Yuh knew from the beginning that the angels were a bad idea. People died, Ube.”
He nodded slowly. “I don’t like how we ended up here, Bitter. But the fact is, we’re here now. All we can do is move forward.”
That didn’t make her feel any better. “I real hate this feeling,” she said. She couldn’t explain it out loud, but it was sickening, a rot in her heart, guilt in her hands, stinging tears buried in the backs of her eyes.
Ube gave her a gentle look, but it had the grit of iron behind it. “All freedoms are terrible,” he said. “That’s the part they never tell you.”
For a moment, he sounded just like an angel.
*
Aloe didn’t come in until later in the afternoon. Bitter almost leaped out of bed to hug him, but he threw himself on her first, and they both laughed as they wrapped around each other, their joy edged and frayed. She rested her head on his chest, listening to his heart beat inside his ribs.