Didn’t he understand I already was most of those things? I wasn’t his girlfriend, but I sang along with his songs and cheered for him on the sidelines.
“I can never be the woman out in the crowd for you, Walker. Not unless I’m not your manager. Is that what you want?” I asked, lifting up my head to look at him.
“That’s not what I want. Not at all. I know how much you love your job, and I don’t want to do anything that will take it away from you, but surely there’s a compromise. Some way for us to be together while you’re still our manager.”
Resting my cheek to my knees, I closed my eyes. “I don’t see a way. I didn’t see it before, and I most definitely don’t see it now. We’d have to keep our relationship hidden. Not just for a short period of time, but forever. Do you want to be my dirty little secret?”
“I’ll be your anything. Whatever you can give me, I’ll take.”
“You say that now,” I shook my head. “But the fun of having a secret will wear off, and then what? I don’t want to fall any deeper than I already am because I know I’ll shatter when this all comes to an end.”
“I won’t let you down, and if you fall, I fall. Hell, I’ve already fallen for you. I don’t know when. Maybe it was the moment I saw you, or maybe it was one day at practice. I don’t know,” he shook his head, his charcoal eyes pleading with me to listen to him. “What I do know is you’re in here,” he pounded on his chest above his heart. “And I know you’re never going to leave no matter how hard you try to push me away. So please, please stop pushing because I’m not going anywhere.”
Tears streamed down my cheeks and rapidly fell as I listened to the most beautiful and heartbreaking words ever spoken to me. How could I deny Walker? How could I break both of our hearts?
I crawled up the bed and wrapped my arms around his neck as I buried my face into the crook of his shoulder. Walker wasted no time enveloping me into his warm, strong arms. “It’s going to be okay. I’ve got you,” he whispered onto the top of my head. He ran his hand down my hair and back and up again.
Pulling back enough for him to see how serious I was, I stared into his dark eyes filled with so much love it took my breath away. “Don’t make me regret this.”
“Never,” he vowed. “Fuck, I wish I wasn’t sick right now, so I could kiss you. I miss those pillowy soft lips of yours against mine.”
“I missed you too.” I ran my hand through the long strands of his hair. “You should rest though.”
He nodded, his body slumping against the wall. “Will you snuggle with me? I can hold you from behind and maybe you won’t get sick.”
As much as I didn’t want to get sick, I’d risk it to be in Walker’s arms in that moment. I needed to feel like I was making the right decision and I couldn’t do that if I was a few feet away from him.
No, I need him just as much as he needed me.
I only hoped I wouldn’t regret letting him in because I knew if I lost Walker again, I would never be the same.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
walker
Pen paced outside the green room. For the last ten minutes, I couldn’t take my eyes off her as she talked animatedly on the phone.
“Who’s she talking to?” Kenton leaned in and quietly asked as if he was afraid Pen might hear him.
“Did we do something wrong?” Cross asked. His eyes flicked towards Greer.
“I didn’t do a damn thing, asshole,” Greer growled from where he was perched on the edge of the couch. He huffed and stood. “Why do we have to wait in here for her? Let’s go to the bus. It’s bigger than this shit hole room they gave us.”
Kenton patted Greer on the shoulder. “One day it’s going to be us who gets the big room. You just wait and see.”
“You can go if you want to, but I’m going to stay here and walk her out. This isn’t the best area for a woman to be walking alone at night.” I leaned back and made myself comfortable.
“Oh, come on, Walker.” Greer let out a humorless laugh. “The bus is probably parked a whole five feet away from the back door. She can make the short trip on her own.”
Narrowing my eyes, I landed them on him and let him feel the heat of my words. “I never said she couldn’t, but I’m not going to risk it. You can be an asshole and not wait.”
We always waited for Pen before we headed out or at least until she dismissed us. Usually, she gave the guys time to get their fuck on with whatever groupie they picked for the night.
“You’re the asshole, but of course, no one is going to call you out on it,” Greer shot back as he pushed out the door.
I looked to both Kenton and Cross to see if they had any clue what that was about, but they both shrugged with confused expressions on their faces.
Cross stood next and gave me an uneasy smile. “I’m sure she’s going to want to go once she’s off the phone. Maybe I’ll just slip into the bathroom and get some head before we’re trapped on the bus for the rest of the night.”
“Do what you got to do.” I was sure I’d feel the same way if I didn’t have Pen on the bus with me. I was probably the one getting the least action out of the four of us, though. The bus was small, and sound carried, making it difficult to please my woman whenever I wanted. She was a little loud in the sack, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I liked hearing all the sounds she made as I touched her and the way she called out my name as she came around my dick.
Fuck we really needed a night at a hotel and quick.
“Oh, my God,” Pen shouted as she stepped into the room. “You’re never going to believe what just happened!”
“We just sold a million copies of our album?” Cross guessed.
“Not that,” Pen shook her head. The biggest smile I’d ever seen was plastered on her face.
“Don’t keep us guessing. Tell us what it is,” I demanded.
“Okay, okay,” she surveyed the room once and then twice. “Where’s Greer?”
“He went to the bus. Said he couldn’t wait any longer,” Cross said irritably.
“Well, he’s going to want to hear this, so let’s go.” She grabbed my hand and helped me to stand. Well, it was the thought that counted. She couldn’t pull me up even if she wanted to. Hooking both of her arms through Cross and Kenton’s, Pen started to pull them out of the room, skipping down the hallway.
“Whatever this is, it must be good,” Kenton laughed.
“It’s so fucking good you’re going to shit your pants,” Pen laughed.
Now I was intrigued. What could possibly have her acting like we’d just won an Oscar for best musical score or gone platinum on our first album?
Walking behind them, I watched as Pen’s ass moved in her tight jeans as she skipped and dragged the guys down the hall. It was quite a sight. Her mood was infectious, and had put smiles on all of our faces. Not that I wasn’t usually in a good mood when she was around. Pen made my world better, even if we were hiding what we meant to each other from the world.