“Shit, man. Sounds rough, but not every girl is going to be like that. Especially not here. They just wanna have fun and they can handle it,” he assures me.
“I get that. I do, but I can’t handle it to be honest with you. I felt responsible for what happened to her,” I explain.
“That wasn’t your fault. She was unstable,” Ryse replies, just as my friends did back home after the night of the party.
“But I should’ve seen it somehow.”
“There’s no way you can see such a thing. It wasn’t your fault,” he says, and over the years I have come to maybe believe that on some level but between having a mother who went through too many men and what happened with Scarlet, I feel done.
“Still I got PTSD over it,” I say sadly. This whole situation makes me think of Poppy and how much I like to kiss her and touch her and just be with her. It scares the shit out of me. Can she handle what’s happening between us? Can I?
“Sure, I get that,” Ryse says. “I appreciate you being open with me. Is that why you were distracted on the ice today?”
Damn. Ryse, if you only knew what was distracting me.
“Partially, yes,” I say and it isn’t wrong. I can’t stop thinking of Poppy but then Scarlet comes to mind, and I know I have to tamp things down with her. I’ve let things go too far already.
“Okay, well I’m here if you need me, bro,” he says.
“Thanks.” I nod and he walks off to the showers. I lower my head between my shoulders.
I picture myself telling Ryse I have feelings for his sister and Ryse losing his shit on me. I swallow hard and scrap that horrible thought. I just wish I didn’t want to spend so much time with Poppy. Last night she went over to Holland’s and I found myself thinking about her and missing her. That has never happened to me with a girl before. It sure didn’t happen to me with Scarlet, and maybe that is what was making me feel guilty too.
SEVENTEEN
Poppy
Bonnie is gone and I’m waiting for Declan to arrive. He was being weird with me on the phone and I wonder what it was about. I couldn’t pinpoint what made him feel off to me. Maybe he was more like distracted.
The knock comes and I take a moment to look in the mirror. My hair flows down my back and shoulders in waves. I also put on some lip gloss. Adjusting my glasses on my nose, I take in my outfit. Leggings and a crop shirt. It’s a new outfit that I got on sale from the mall. I have to admit it was a good buy.
I open the door and Declan’s gray eyes look like storm clouds as he takes me in but they slowly turn from stormy to what looks like scorching.
“Damn, you look good,” he says.
“It’s new.” I do a little spin for him.
He walks over to me and I think he is about to kiss me on the lips, maybe grip my behind and give it a squeeze like he likes to do, but instead I get a peck on the forehead. He walks past me and takes a seat at my desk.
“How was your day?” I ask.
“Fine,” he frowns.
“Mine was okay too. I spent some time at the paper today. I came up with some notes for your story. There was no way I could keep Elijah waiting anymore,” I explain.
“What did you write?” he asks.
“Just some initial notes about your friendship with the guys on the team. How dedicated you are to the team. There was a lot of repetition and Elijah scolded me for it,” I say, wanting to hear a response from him.
He winces. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Let me at least write about you growing up with a single mom and learning to train yourself. That’s a fascinating story,” I say.
“Only I’ve lied to all my teammates. They think I come from some hunky-dory family,” he retorts with some attitude.
“So set the record straight with them too. They’ll understand,” I assure. “We don’t need to talk about your brother at all, that way we don’t give him any unnecessary attention.”
“We can’t, okay.” He runs his fingers through his hair and tension rolls off of him in spades.
“What’s gotten into you?” I ask him. Something is definitely off.
“You, you’ve gotten into me and this has all been a terrible idea,” he says, causing a pain in the middle of my chest.
“Wow.” I take a step back. “Not what I was expecting for tonight.”
“Oh, what were you expecting?” he asks and waits, leaning back in my desk chair.
“I wasn’t expecting you to be an ass, so do you want to tell me what is really going on here?” I wait with my hands on my waist.
He leans forward and braces his elbows on his knees, his head falling between his shoulders.
“Seriously? Now you have a hard time talking? You’ve told me more than you’ve told your best friends. This isn’t the time to shut down,” I say softly. Patience, Poppy, he’s clearly dealing with something.
He blows out a harsh breath. “I was fucking up at practice today. This is starting to hurt my game,” he admits, and that’s not what I’m expecting.
“Why?” I ask.
“Because I’m going behind one of my best friend’s back,” he says.
“It didn’t bother you before.” I bring to his attention. “And let me remind you, I’m an adult capable of making my own decisions, even if my big brother disagrees. We aren’t doing anything wrong. Do you not like me?” It’s a little bold even for me, but hell, I like spending time with him, and I don’t want this to end. At least not yet.
His eyes snap to mine. “It’s not that,” he says. “I like spending time with you a little too much. Last night I couldn’t get you out of my head.”
His words cause a rush of excitement inside me, but I don’t allow it to burst forth and I keep my face straight. “What’s the problem then?”
“I told you the problem. Your brother,” he reminds me.
“Is there something else going on here?” I ask, because I have this intuition about people I can’t explain or maybe it’s these feelings. I can feel something is off with Declan, like there is more to this story. I’m hoping this natural skill will help me succeed as a reporter because I can see beneath the surface.
“I can’t believe I’m going to say this. It’s like you’ve cast a spell on me, and every time I’m around you I reveal things I don’t share with anyone.” He stands from the chair and paces the small space beside my bed. I take a seat on my bed and wait.
“That’s me, your typical teenage witch,” I joke, giving him a crooked grin.
“That’s not what I meant,” he says, returning the lopsided smirk.
“What is it then? You know you can trust me,” I say, and I wait.
Declan watches me and I watch him inhale and exhale. “It isn’t exactly a secret that I don’t get around a lot,” he begins. I’m so intrigued I sit on the edge of my bed.
I nod.
He chews on his lip for a moment then says, “When I was in high school, I dated a girl named Scarlet. She was in most of my classes. We were together junior and senior year. We hung out a lot between me practicing and stuff, but I always told her my endgame was a Division 1 team and I was planning on leaving Detroit,” he explains.