“I’m checking in, Roman,” I whisper, all too aware of his brothers standing outside the car, wondering what the fuck is keeping us. “That visit from your uncle … it’s been weighing on your mind, and don’t try to tell me it hasn’t. You haven’t said anything since he left two days ago. You spent most of yesterday drunk and in a rage, and today … I don’t know. Today you’re off, and I hate seeing you like this.”
Roman shakes his head and drops his hands to my waist, forcing me back to meet my eyes. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says, his eyes hardening.
“Don’t,” I growl, my hand moving to cup the side of his face, forcing him to keep holding my stare. “Don’t shut me out. You’re hurting and I want to help you.”
“That’s just the thing, Shayne. There is no helping me.”
Leaning into him again, I brush my lips over his, melting at the way his move against mine. “You’re wrong about that,” I murmur. “You just need to let me in.”
Feeling his body tense beneath me again, I pull back and go to push my way out of the car before he gets the chance to tell me exactly what he thinks, but he catches my arm and holds me back. “You don’t know what you’re asking of me,” he finally tells me as I settle back onto his lap. “I’m not like my brothers. I don’t easily forgive, and I sure as fuck don’t forget. I live in a much darker world than they do, and to let you in would be to end you. You’re too good for this, Shayne. You may think you can handle these bullshit drug deals and the occasional bullet through the head, but this world will wear you down and kill you. If you were smart, you’d cut and run at the first chance you got. Stop trying to force this.”
I shake my head. “I can’t do that,” I tell him, placing my hand on his chest to feel the rapid beat of his heart beneath. “Not when you’ve already forced your way in.”
He swallows hard and I see the pain in his eyes. “That was a mistake.”
Gently pressing my lips to his again, I kiss him deeper, feeling something so damn right settling inside of me. His tongue moves with mine as his fingers soften on my waist, both of us finally coming home.
Not wanting to push my luck, I pull back from him, hating the feel of my lips being away from his. “You may be able to lie to yourself, Roman DeAngelis,” I murmur, curling my fingers around the door handle and gently pulling the lever. “But you can’t lie to me.”
With that, I push my way out of the car and come face to face with Marcus and Levi, who both watch me through narrowed gazes. “What was that all about?” Marcus questions, the jealousy sneaking up on him despite already knowing damn well how I feel about his brother. He already gave me the green light to pursue something with Roman if it felt right, and I’m in too deep to reconsider.
I push past them and make my way to the dilapidated fence surrounding the property, pulling the rusty gate open and following the sidewalk to the front door.
There are brown stains coating the concrete that look a lot like dried blood, and I shake my head dismissively. I’m no stranger to bloodshed, at least not anymore.
If I’ve learned anything from the boys, it’s that there is always someone watching, someone waiting for you to fuck up. Dried blood on your doorstep is an amateur move.
I hear Roman getting out of the car behind us and quickly making his way through the gate. I don’t bother looking back because I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle the rejection I see in his eyes. He’s definitely not ready to explore whatever this thing is between us, though I know he wants to. That’s not what that was all about anyway. He’s hurting in a way that none of us can relate to. His son is missing and that’s bound to play on his mind every moment of every day, and I hate that for him. He’s sinking further and further into the darkness, and I want nothing more than to pull him back out. He’s reckless and emotional, and that kind of mix isn’t going to get us anywhere.
Coming to a stop at the door, I glance back at Marcus and Levi, making sure they’re ready, and with a firm nod from Levi, I reach for the door handle and twist.
I expect to see a cloud of smoke and a bunch of losers high on the couch, but the place is clear. Hell, it even looks as though someone hit it with a spit shine. There’s no rotting flesh stench, no blood splatters across the wall, not even the loud metal music we’d heard the first time we came through here.
My brows furrow, and as I slowly creep into the boarded-up home, I see Marcus from the corner of my eye, slipping his gun from the waistband of his pants.
“I don’t like this,” I murmur, my eyes scanning the room, searching for some kind of threat. I mean, damn. If Marcus feels that something is off, then I should be running for the fucking hills.
My heart thuds wildly in my chest, feeling way out of my league. It’s one thing to see my target in front of me and have time to come up with a plan, but these spontaneous moments where I have to be completely ready scare the shit out of me. No amount of training could help me to keep up with the boys during a shootout. I’d be the first casualty.
Without another word, Levi pushes himself in front of me, taking the lead as he makes his way through the property. We go room by room, listening intently. The boys don’t make a damn sound on the old rickety floorboards, and it has chills sailing down my spine. They really are the boogeymen sneaking around your home at night.
We come out into the main living room and kitchen, right where we’d been last time, and it’s a stark contrast to the rest of the house. It’s a fucking mess. There are scuff marks across the floor, pills spread far and wide, and piles of scattered money as though someone could only carry so much as they desperately tried to flee.
“Fuck,” Marcus spits, shoving his gun back into his pants and looking around. “The place has been cleared out. The fucker is gone.”
Roman slowly turns, surveying the room with a trained eye. “No,” he says, “It’s been ransacked. Our dealer didn’t do this, though I bet he bitched out, too fucking scared to face us. He’d rather cut and run,” Roman adds, turning his gaze toward me with a meaningful stare. “Guess he knows what’s good for him.”
Narrowing my gaze on the asshole, I avoid flipping him off before I circle the room and pick up a discarded pill. “Do you think he’s dead?” I ask.
Levi shakes his head. “No, but he sure as fuck won’t be coming back here any time soon.”
“Shit,” I mutter, tossing the pill back to the ground and turning toward the boys. “So, what do we do now?”
“Now,” Marcus says, a grin splitting his face in two as Roman’s phone chimes with an incoming text. “We get to have a little fun.”
Amusement brews deep in my chest as I stride toward him, my eyes glistening with silent laughter as Roman digs his phone out of his pocket. “Why do I get the feeling that this is going to be the best game of hide and seek that I’ve ever had?”
“Just you wait,” Marcus says, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me in before dropping his lips to mine. “You’re on our team now and we play by our own rules.”
I can’t help but laugh as he adjusts his hold on me, slinging his arm over my shoulder as we make our way back out of the empty property. Levi follows us out and we get a few steps before I look back over my shoulder and find Roman hanging back in the kitchen, his fist clenching so tightly around his phone that I fear for its glass screen.