She was so caught up in the idea of starting a courtship with him that it took her a few moments to process the rest of what he said, so she walked toward the windows to take some time. It was an ingenious plan, really. She would have been impressed if she wasn’t so worried about what the courtship might do to her. She wasn’t a debutante. She had been courted by men before her marriage. There were men now who had subtly made their interest known to her. It wasn’t the courtship that bothered her. It was that he would be the man doing the courting. It was the extended time with him. Maxwell Crenshaw was like no other man she had ever met. No, that wasn’t right. On the surface, he wasn’t that different. No, that wasn’t right, either.
There were bound to be other men like him somewhere in the world, but she hadn’t met them. No one she had met was as unpolished and yet refined as he was. No one else wore the demeanor of a gentleman like a second skin, hinting at the existence of a wilder, more visceral man underneath. No one else made her feel when she was so determined not to feel.
As if he was afraid she would reject the proposition out of hand, he shifted behind her and said, “I know that there could be ramifications of our calling off the engagement. You can be the one to end things. We’ll come up with some suitable reason, and if need be, I am prepared to come here and face public degradation to beg for your hand. It will be a harrowing scene where you can outright refuse. Hopefully, that will keep your reputation intact.”
The smile in his voice had her turning to face him. “You would do that? You would come here and humiliate yourself in front of all of London to protect your sister from finding out the awful thing your father is prepared to do?”
“My penance.” His lips curved in a smile, all evidence of his earlier anger evaporated. His eyes were back to being earnest and deep, but there was the look of a predator about him now. A man on the verge of getting something he wanted. That clench deep within her happened again.
“I don’t know if we can convince them of the ruse. Everyone knows that I have sworn off marriage for now.”
“We can,” he said with a cool confidence that would have been annoying had she not liked it so much, especially when his hot gaze landed on her lips.
They went dry, and she licked them before her fingers found their way to a strand of hair that had escaped the pins earlier. They were having this conversation, and she hadn’t even had a chance to tidy herself. “I’ll have to consider my reputation. If it reflects badly on the charity . . .”
“I don’t want to overstep, but I heard enough of your conversation with Lady Blaylock after dinner the other night to know that your home for young women is in jeopardy. I don’t know if she’s correct in her assessment, but I will be happy to help you find out.”
“What do you mean?”
“If we’re courting, and then engaged, let’s see if the donations come back. I will do my utmost to show my support for the venture and encourage others to do so as well. If we have to extend our engagement, say until you have the building secured and operations funded, then we extend it. Spring, summer, it doesn’t matter to me.” He shrugged.
He seemed so reasonable and agreeable about the whole thing that she wanted to say yes. The fact that she very much wanted to know what it would be like to be courted by him shouldn’t figure into the matter. She would be doing this to help her friend. If it also helped her charity, then wonderful. If it also assuaged her curiosity, then so much the better.
But what if she couldn’t withstand the full charm of Maxwell Crenshaw without losing herself?
“I would like some time to think about it before giving you my answer.”
He stared at her for so long that she thought he meant to offer an argument, but then he gave a curt nod. “I suppose it’s only reasonable. I’ve given you a shock.”
“It’s not every day that one is given such an interesting proposal.”
He grinned and pushed himself up from her desk so that she had to look up at him. “It’s beyond me why you’re still available for such an interesting proposal. Are Englishmen really so blind?”
That sounded like a compliment. She didn’t know how to manage compliments from him, because she was certain he wasn’t the type to toss them out casually. When he spoke them, they meant something. But what? He was leaving soon. There was no possible outcome of a flirtation between them that would lead to any sort of satisfying conclusion.
No, he had to be saying it to soften her toward him. “I’m disappointed. I didn’t think you were the type of man who would toss out sweet words simply to sway me. Do you not trust your skills as a negotiator?”
“I trust them wholeheartedly, Lady Helena. Enough to know that I’ll be hearing from you soon.” His grin stayed on his face as he gave a tilt of his head at the door to tell her goodbye.
From the window she watched him dash down the steps out front, practically skipping in his confidence. As he greeted his driver, her gaze took in the breadth of his shoulders and the strength of his hand on the carriage door.
She had already made her decision, and they both knew it. All that was left was for her to shore her defenses against the whirlwind courtship that was coming. She wasn’t entirely confident that she could do it . . . or that she even wanted to try.
Chapter 7
Virtue can only flourish amongst equals.
Mary Wollstonecraft
My dear Mr. Crenshaw,
A ball is being given in honor of the birthday of His Grace, the Duke of Hereford, four days hence. It is certain to be well worth your efforts to attend.
Yours very sincerely,
Lady Helena March
Madam,
Save your waltzes for me.
Yours,
Maxwell Crenshaw
Helena had not been this anxious and excited at a ball since her coming-out season. This was partially due to her state of dress, or lack of dress, as it were, but mostly because of Mr. Crenshaw. Maxwell. She should try to remember that after tonight she would refer to him by his given name, because she planned to accept his proposal. Tonight, they would dance and flirt and do all the things that a couple in the beginning stages of a courtship should do. It would be a deception, but her body didn’t seem to know that. The palms of her hands tingled with the expectation of touching him as they danced. Her heart seemed to beat faster whenever she caught sight of a tall, dark-haired man. He hadn’t arrived yet, and the anticipation of tonight had her seeing him in every man over six feet.
“Helena, dear.” Mama’s harsh whisper caught her ear as the woman approached. She wore a modest but stylish gown in burgundy with similarly dyed feathers in her elaborately pinned hair. She was one of those attractive people who would look elegant no matter what they wore. It was as if she had somehow managed to arrange the silver streaks in her hair to frame her face and perfectly highlight the brown tresses. People milled around them, significantly slowing her progress as she was forced to greet them all as she passed. Helena was accustomed to this. Her mother had been quite popular before Helena’s birth, and time had not changed a thing.