She finally met his eyes again. “I can see I have much to learn about running an efficient operation.”
“Unless you have your own crew ready, it might be easier and faster to have these men handle the renovations of your residence hall. My foreman, Mr. Wilson, can walk you through and you can discuss your needs.” He raised his arm and gestured for the man to come over.
“That would be lovely, thank you.”
Max tried not to think of the polite distance between them as he made the introductions. He tried not to think of how she sounded when she came, or how damned good she had felt when he’d been inside her. But he couldn’t help watching her as she walked toward the residence hall with Mr. Wilson in tow, her eyes already alight with the ideas she had for the space.
“Mr. Crenshaw?” Tom stood nearby, holding up a roll of parchment. “The plans for the factory have been delivered.”
“Right.” Max needed to get back to work. That required his focus now, because everything had to be in working order before he left so that Papa couldn’t step in and take it all away from August.
Helena found him about an hour later, a happy and hopeful smile on her face. Ostler hung back a way, and Mr. Wilson appeared to be occupied talking with a group of his men. “Thank you for arranging this, Maxwell. It’s all so much more than I expected.”
“Do you think you’ll be able to have the rooms ready soon?”
“The residence is in better condition than the foundry and won’t need extensive renovation. Mr. Wilson seems to think we can begin bringing in the women and children in a month, or two at most.”
“Good.” They both stood there for a moment as words failed them. Every time he looked at her he saw her gasping her pleasure beneath him. Was it the same for her? “I can’t tell you how pleased I am that everything has worked out this way.”
“Thank you.” She colored prettily. “I should go. I came straight here after Sir Phineas’s visit, so I haven’t had a chance to send a note to the board members to let them know of our good fortune.”
“I’ll walk you to your carriage.”
She nodded and they walked side by side in silence. There were several feet between them, but she might have been pressed against him for how aware of her he was. He waved her driver off and opened the door for her himself because he had to know what she was feeling and thinking. If she hated him for leaving.
When she moved to climb in, he whispered, “Helena. About last night, I left because I didn’t want your maid to find us, but if I did something . . . if I hurt you—”
“No.” She appeared to be reaching for the door, but she touched his hand instead where it rested on the inside strap. Concern was etched on her features as she moved her hand to his chest. It was the lightest of touches, but it felt as if she held magic in her fingertips. Heat moved from the small points of contact to swirl through him. “You haven’t done anything wrong. Last night was astonishing.”
Her eyes were filled with wonderment, and a tender smile curved her lips. They confused him even more. “Then why—?”
She swallowed thickly, the hint of a sheen coating her eyes. “I think we should leave it to the one night, however.”
Despite his resolve to remain impassive, he covered her hand with his, flattening her palm against his chest. She took in a shuddering breath in response. “Helena, I know that isn’t what you want.” It couldn’t be. Not after what had passed between them last night. It had felt deeper and more profound than any sexual experience of his life. There had been a connection between them that he knew he hadn’t imagined.
“Perhaps not, but it’s what I need. What would be the point of continuing anyway? We both know it has to end sometime.”
It wasn’t until sheer disappointment crested through him that he understood a part of him had thought that maybe this would lead to the next step, to something more. That she was perfect for him and this could open the door for them to explore that. It would mean she would eventually come to New York with him, but that didn’t seem like an unscalable barrier. Or so he had begun to think at some point between last night and now.
“Does it have to?” He drew her hand to his lips, gratified that she didn’t try to pull away. Instead, she watched him, her lips parted as he pressed a kiss to her fingers, the supple leather of her gloves cool to the touch.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” she said, infusing her voice with that cool distance he was growing to dread. “I refuse to move to New York. You won’t stay in London. We should take last night as the gift it was.”
The more she spoke the more he realized he disliked everything she had to say. “It was more than a pleasant way to pass an hour, if that’s what you’re trying to say. There is something here, and it’s worth exploring.”
She swallowed again, her eyes going wide in a sort of naivete. “I think perhaps it meant more to you—”
“For Christ’s sake, Helena, you’re a terrible actress.” He closed his eyes and released her hand. He couldn’t force things with her if she didn’t want them. Of course he couldn’t. Could he? Visions of pleasuring her until she admitted how she felt about them swam through his head. “The least you can do is give me honesty.” When he opened his eyes, relief poured over him to see the cool veneer gone from her face.
“Fine,” she said, her eyes wide in genuine bemusement now. “Until last night I never completely understood what I was missing. Now that I do, I’m afraid that I won’t be able to go back to how I was before.”
She paused, but he didn’t utter a sound, stunned by her admission and afraid that the slightest murmur would make her disinclined to continue.
Eventually, she said, “I was lonely. I know how to be lonely. I don’t know how to get closer to you and then go back to that lonely place when you’re gone.”
“Then come with me.”
“What? You’re asking me to come to New York with you after an hour together alone in my drawing room?”
He smiled. The offer had come out without any conscious thought on his part. “Of course not, not yet, that would be ridiculous.” And it would likely scare her off. But he could imagine just that scenario. She could come home with him after Christmas. They would rarely leave their stateroom on the crossing, and everyone would know what they were doing, but it wouldn’t matter. Then he’d take her to his home in Gramercy Park, and they would make a life together. “I’m asking you to indulge what we’ve found. For now. We can figure out the rest later.”
She was shaking her head before he’d even finished. “No, it’s best to leave things as they are.”