Chapter 21
Even in my dreams, I never imagined that I should find so much love on earth.
Prince Albert
Max left her and moved to the edge of the bed, presumably to dispose of the sheath. Helena couldn’t see anything beyond his wide shoulders. She wanted to pull him back to her, but she felt weak and disoriented, her body still quivering in the aftereffects of their lovemaking. Sex had been a pleasurable experience before, in the early days of her marriage, but it had never held this intensity that somehow managed to succeed in separating her soul from her body. If he left her as quickly as he had the first time, she didn’t know how she would make it. She honestly felt that she might never be whole again.
When he left the bed completely, she heard a sound of disappointment escape her, and she managed to push herself up a little in dismay, but she settled when he stopped at the washstand. Gathering up the cloth hanging from the wrought iron rod off the side, he wet it and proceeded to wash himself. She was aware in some remote corner of her mind that she should look away and give him a modicum of privacy, but she couldn’t make herself obey. Her eyes were greedy for the sight of him. The flex of his buttocks as he walked. The way he moved the cloth over every ridge and sinew before finding his semi-erect manhood, washing himself.
“Max,” she whispered as he doused the cloth in the water again, fearful he meant to dress and leave now. But the smile hovering around his lips and the obvious intent in his eyes when he looked at her settled her worries. She didn’t recognize this needful creature she became with him.
Wringing out the cloth, he brought it back to bed with him. Her breath lodged in her throat at how he effortlessly seemed to draw all the air from the bed, overwhelming it with his mere presence and making it feel smaller than it actually was. After turning down the lamp and untying the bed curtains so they swished closed, cocooning them in their own world, he leaned over her, kissing her ear and her neck as the hand with the cloth found its way between her thighs. She gasped at the lukewarm wetness as he washed her inner thighs and then that part of her that still felt achy and swollen with need.
He tossed the cloth away to land on the floor near the end of the bed and teased her with his fingers. She closed her eyes when his mouth found her nipple and desire flamed into an all-encompassing need that blotted out everything else but him. His scent, his touch, the sounds he made in the back of his throat when she reacted the way he wanted. Quicker than she would have imagined possible, she was trembling around his fingers, her body splintering into a million different pieces as he played her with the skill of a seasoned musician.
As she came down, he gathered her into his arms and threw a leg over hers, anchoring her within the shelter of his embrace as she found herself again. She pressed her nose into the soft cave of his neck, breathing him in and knowing that he would be a part of her forever. What existed between them was too precious and rare to ever go away.
She knew that, and yet overwhelming guilt accompanied the thought. She should have told him the truth about herself the very moment she had suspected this obsession between them was more than mere attraction. Even tonight she had let her desire for him suppress her better sense, somehow convincing herself that once more wouldn’t change anything.
In a way it wouldn’t. She’d felt connected to him from the beginning, and nothing would change that. But in a much more harmful way, she had probably made him believe that this could lead to something more. That wasn’t right of her.
“Max, we need to talk.”
When he didn’t answer right away, she lifted her head to peer down at him. It was very dark in their little nest, but his light snore confirmed what she had begun to suspect. He was asleep.
“Max, there are things we need to discuss.”
Taking hold of his shoulder, she shook it lightly and then with more vigor when he didn’t react. His response was to grab her in his arms and hold her more firmly against his chest. His leg tightened around her until she was held against him like a child’s prized blanket. Even though she knew it was the scotch making him sleep so deeply, his arms really weren’t an objectionable place to be. She felt warm and secure, wanted in a way she hadn’t felt in such a long time, perhaps ever. Perhaps it would be better to talk in the morning anyway without the fog of alcohol to dull her words for him. She snuggled into his embrace and savored the feeling of being held by him.
She awoke much later in the night. His hot breath was in her ear and his teeth were at her neck, biting in a way that sent shivers of longing pulsing through her. His hands were everywhere and had to have been for some time to make her body light up with such a throbbing and violent need.
“Max.” Her fingers searched behind her, finding the firm globe of his bottom as she pressed her hips back into him, searching and then delighting in the push of his erection against the small of her back. But that was not where she wanted him.
“Tell me you need me.” His voice was a trembling growl that vibrated across her already raw nerve endings.
“My God, yes. I need you inside me.”
His breath rushed past her ear. “You’re such a good girl, Helena. You do everything I ask of you.” He plucked at her nipple before rolling it between his thumb and forefinger.
She had no idea why his words intensified her need, but they did. “Please, Max.” She canted her hips, hoping to find him.
And then he was there, his hard length buried inside her to the hilt from behind. He withdrew only to fill her again, sending her plummeting headlong into insensibility as he took her hard and fast. Even though he was behind her, she felt him all around her. He caged her with his body, his fingers finding every responsive part of her as he pushed her over the edge, tumbling down into an abyss of pleasure mixed with possession. She fell back to sleep with tremors still quaking through her body, but his arms were around her keeping her whole.
The next time she awoke it was to bright sunlight catching a break in the bed curtain to fall across her face. She squinted and turned her head away from the beam, snuggling into the warmth at her side. Max automatically tightened his hold and buried his face in her hair. She loved this waking up to him. The coarse hair on his legs rasped pleasantly across her skin as he moved, stretching as he slowly came awake. The spice of his body mingled with their sex surrounded her, lulling her into a languor that made it difficult to come fully awake. She wanted to float here in this stupor, very nearly drunk on their sated pleasure and the heat from his body.
But the unmistakable sound of a door closing down the corridor brought her fully awake. The maid would be here soon to relight the fire and would find them. Had she locked the door last night? She thought so, but even if she had, the locked door would raise suspicion. Bloody hell! She sat up as she remembered Max’s door was unlocked. She’d been too caught up in the sight of him half-naked to remind him to lock it. If they found him gone, his bed not even mussed, and then her door locked, everyone would know. He would have little choice in things from here on out and would be forced to marry her for real.