“That’s not the case. I—I just don’t want you … to go.” As I can’t defend my bitterness toward Tori, I add another string to the bow. “Who’d look after you?”
“Aunt Kayla. Aunt Lisa. There’s a whole other side of my family I can’t see because you moved us out here! Because you got mad at everyone.”
I dig my nails into my palms. I’ve never described it this way to her, and I sure as hell know Chiara wouldn’t. “Is that what your mom said?”
“She said that you both made mistakes but that we wouldn’t have had to move if you hadn’t gotten into a fight with Uncle Rick. You’d still have your job and we’d still be in New York. And I’d be able to go to Mom’s wedding.”
Yeah, a lot hinged on one thrown punch. Tori knows what preceded that, how her affair with my colleague and the cover-up by my captain, “Uncle Rick,”—who was supposed to be my closest friend—sent me off the deep end. Sure, I could have taken it, suffered the indignity of my whole crew knowing I was fucked over by people I cared about. But I didn’t and here we are. Tori has no right to use my reaction to her bad behavior as leverage in her mind games with our daughter.
“I don’t want you to go, Lena. If I can’t go with you—and I can’t—then you can’t go at all. That’s all there is to it.”
Her look is pure tween hatred. I’d hoped to stave this off for longer but now I’m in it good.
“It’s not fair.”
“Maybe not. But sometimes we have to do things we don’t want.”
“Adults always say that to justify their own bad decisions.”
Does my daughter know me or what? Yet I hear a thread of her mother’s thinking in there.
So maybe I’m the king of bad decisions. Tori, my job in New York, this wedding business. Abby.
Abby, who I almost caved to not fifteen minutes ago, the worst best mistake I almost made today.
“I’m sorry you can’t go, Lena. We’ll do something else.”
My daughter growls and turns her back on me.
Two days later, I walk into the Engine 6 gym, surprised to find Luke pondering the weights.
“Shouldn’t you be headed out to make a baby?” Luke’s shift ended thirty minutes ago but there’s no end in sight to the wagering on his powerful sperm.
“Just getting some time in. Baby-making takes stamina. Spot me?”
“Sure.” I go through the routine of making sure Luke’s windpipe isn’t crushed all while thinking on how best to approach my dilemma.
“How’s it going with your candidate?”
“Torres?” Luke counts off with the barbell in his secure grip. “Guy’s great. Nice to have another joker on the crew, and he’s definitely pulling his weight.”
While I’m pleased to hear we have a good guy in the house, I was hoping to hear there’s friction or trouble in paradise. Maybe I should come at it from a different angle.
“You hear the Commissioner put Sullivan on light duty?”
Luke sits up, grabbing his towel to wipe at the sweat dotting his chest.
“Yeah, she was spittin’ nails about it. Not that I blame her. Kind of a sick call.”
“I wonder if the fact she’s on my crew gets his goat.”
“Because of your history with him?” Luke considers this. “You think he’s going to go harder on her because you’re her CO? Or you think he doesn’t trust you to have her back?”
“Maybe both. She did push back during the call—makes me wonder if maybe we don’t work so well together.”
Luke considers this. “Rossi, are you trying to get Sullivan transferred off your crew?”
“No.” I take a seat beside him on the bench, and murmur, “Maybe.”
He knows there’s nothing wrong with her. She’s going to make a great firefighter so the only reason I want her off my crew is as plain as the nose on my reddening face.
“You want to f—uh, date her?” Whatever he sees on my face is not good. “You’re fucking kidding me? It’s been barely a month!”
“How long did it take you and your lady to know?”
“Day One. She walked into the Engine 6 locker room and I was in a towel. End of story.” Cocky grin. Fucker. “Of course, we had to go through the motions of pretending there was nothing because of work stuff. So, been there.” He twitches his nose. “What does Abby think?”
“We haven’t—uh, discussed it. But I’m pretty sure she’s interested.”
Luke narrows his gaze. “So you’re investigating the options behind her back? She won’t like that. Hell, I don’t like that.”
“It’s not—listen, I’m trying to think of options so I can present them to her. Really, I should be forgetting the whole thing because I’ve got enough drama at home.”
“What drama?”
“My ex wants Lena in the wedding party as a bridesmaid. I told her no and that she couldn’t discuss it with Lena, but she found out.”
“Your kid did?”
“Yup. Now it’s World War Three and I’m the bad guy. Just when I think things are starting to even out. Chiara’s marriage is imploding and—” I rub my forehead. What the hell am I thinking trying to carve out a path to date a candidate on my crew? “Forget I said anything.”
Luke waits a beat. “There’s nothing wrong with looking for a little happiness for yourself. Back when Kinsey and I met, I’d gone through a pretty bad divorce myself. And I threw myself into taking care of the kids. Alex and Gage were old enough to look after themselves but I used that as an excuse to not make any sudden moves. I almost fucked things up with Kinsey but when I went all in with her, told her she was number one, she met me halfway and it changed everything. It’s okay to want things, Roman.”
“As long as everyone’s on the same page.” I check the door to make sure we’re alone. “The thing is, this attraction I feel for Abby is trouble, you know. Not only because she’s on my crew but because I need to keep things stable. I’m on shaky legs here as it is and I want to fuck with that for someone I barely know?”
Laying it out there like this is the cold ice bath my horny muscles need.
I have too much to lose to let a piece of very fine tail derail me. Abby obviously has ten times more sense than I do.
“Pretty sure I did not say or imply any of that,” Luke says.
I jump off the bench and head to the treadmill. “You didn’t have to. I just needed to talk it out and now I have, we’re good.”
“Are we?”
I set the treadmill to its most punishing route. May as well practice for the days and weeks to come.
“Yeah, we are.”
Twenty-one
Abby
I’m a couple of minutes late for my shift, likely because I’m not eager to tie myself to a mop for the day. I have company in my tardiness. Wozniak is in the locker room and looks a little sheepish on seeing me.
“Hey, Sully, how’s it going?”