After all, he had gone out of his way to help me move, and it wasn’t his fault he’d stumbled into a hornets’ nest.
I read over the message one last time and hit send, just as Olsen walked into the locker room.
“Hey, there you are. We’re just about to get lunch together. You coming?”
I thought about bowing out, since a) I didn’t really feel like shooting the shit, and b) my head, but figured if I had lunch with the crew now, I could skip out on dinner, since that was usually the longer of the two.
“Sure. I can do that.” I glanced at my phone to see there was no response and frowned. Maybe I should’ve reached out before now to make sure we were cool.
Fuck, why am I worrying about this?
“Everything okay?”
“Huh?” I looked at Olsen. “Oh, yeah. Was just waiting on a message, but nothing.”
“Ah, gotcha. You in the doghouse?”
“The doghouse?” I asked as we headed out of the locker room and down the hall.
“Yeah. You look like the guys do whenever their old lady has their balls in a twist.”
“I suppose I do. But it wouldn’t be my old lady.” As we pushed open the kitchen doors, I noticed several of the guys sitting around the table and Lee over in the kitchen behind the stove.
“Oh, you’re single?”
“No,” I said, and decided now was as good a time as any to get this revelation out of the way. “I’m gay.”
All talk in the rec room ceased, and my words seemed to echo off the walls.
“You’re gay?” Brumm said.
“I am. That a problem?” I sure as shit hoped not, because I wasn’t putting up with any homophobic bullshit. I’d dealt with that and a whole slew of other insults my entire life, and I’d learned from a young age how to stand up for myself.
“A problem?” Olsen screwed his nose up and then let out a booming laugh. “No way. It’s ironic, but definitely not a problem.”
As the rest of the guys joined in nodding, Olsen clapped me on the arm.
“Our old lieutenant, KB—you met him before he left. He just moved down south with his boyfriend. Shocked the hell out of all of us. He’d been straight as an arrow until Bash strutted into his life.”
Lieutenant Kieran Bailey—the guy who’d grilled me on one of my first shifts here—was gay? That was the last thing I’d expected Olsen to say.
“Yeah,” Davis said with a smirk. “Then one of our crew, Sanderson, showed us his true colors, and we had to give him the boot. That’s why it’s ironic. You took Sanderson’s spot.”
I nodded. “Gotcha.”
“So you don’t need to worry about anything here,” Olsen assured me. “No one’s gonna be a problem.”
That was good to know, because even though it was no one’s business, in a career like ours, that “good old boy” mentality still ran strong, and a lot of the old-timers—and some of the newbies—tended to take issue with anyone they deemed different to themselves.
“Thanks.”
“Of course,” Olsen said as we headed over to the table. “And if anyone says or does anything you find disrespectful, you let me know.”
“Or me,” Brumm said, puffing up his chest. “That shit won’t fly here.”
“Duly noted.” I took a seat and pulled out my phone, checking again to see if Ryan had responded, but the screen was blank. I let out a sigh, and Olsen chuckled.
“Still no answer, huh?”
I shook my head.
“That your boyfriend?” Brumm asked around a mouthful of chips.
“No.”
“Husband?”
“No.”
“Want me to stop asking you questions?”
“Yes.”
The guys all started laughing, and Brumm shrugged. “Fair enough. But anyone who looks as mopey as you over a non-text has a boyfriend.”
I never talked about my personal life, and I’d made it a point to keep myself at a certain distance from these guys. But I was here now, and I couldn’t just ignore him.
“Not a boyfriend. New roommate—Ryan. I think I pissed him off.”
“You needed a place to rent?” Olsen shook his head. “Why didn’t you tell me? I have a spare room.”
“It all happened kind of fast, and—”
“You like your distance and separation, I know.”
Huh, seemed like my lieutenant had been paying attention, because even if he had offered his place, I would’ve turned him down. After my last post, I would never mix work with relationships ever again.
“Well, you’re not missing out,” I said, trying to smooth things over. “Clearly I’m a dream to live with.”
“Like that’s a surprise.” Brumm gave me a toothy grin. “I mean, you aren’t exactly Mr. Happy.”
“Yeah, guess I might’ve come off a bit—”
“Cold? Blunt? Terse?” Brumm popped another chip in his mouth. “Should I go on?”
“Not if you want to be able to eat whatever Lee’s cooking over there.”
Brumm laughed. “Eh, his meatballs are so-so.”
“Hey,” Lee called out. “My balls are delicious.”
Olsen stretched out beside me and pointed to the phone. “So you sent him an apology?”
“More of a ‘can we talk?’”
“’Cause you’re such a talker.”
I shrugged. “How hard can it be? I’ll apologize for being a dick and tell him I’ll try not to be again.”
“Yeah.” Brumm scoffed. “That ought to do it.”
Everyone laughed and then went back to talking amongst themselves, but I could still feel Olsen’s eyes on me.
“Something wrong, lieutenant?”
“Nope.” He shoved back from the table. “We have a good bunch of guys here. The kind who would welcome you in, make you family, if you let them.”
Usually, I’d brush a suggestion like that aside, but I found myself doing something I never did—explaining. “I know, it’s just—”
“You’re careful because of what happened at 23?”
Caught completely off guard, I blinked but said nothing.
“If you ever want to talk about it—”
“I won’t.”
“But if you ever do, I’ll be here.” Olsen stood and shoved his chair in, then he clapped me on the shoulder and said by my ear, “You can’t avoid relationships forever, with your roommate or your crew.”
He walked off, and I stared after him, wondering how in the hell I’d gone from having no friends or connections last week to suddenly being surrounded by people wanting to know me.
I picked up my phone again and thought about sending another text to Ryan, but before I could, the station’s alarm went off.
“Ambulance #39, engine #17, truck #91, residential fire.”
Minutes later, we were geared up and climbing into the truck.
As Brumm pulled out onto the street, Olsen gave us the rundown. “Looks like the call was from a delivery guy in the neighborhood. Said he saw smoke coming from the roof, but the place looks pretty deserted. He’s not sure if anyone lives there.”