“Look, I might be dying to kiss you again, but I’m also not going to apologize for going to the poker party.” Snap. He sank the last two balls with a fancy move, but didn’t smile at his victory.
“You didn’t know he was lying.” I reached out to touch his sleeve. Even if it made me shift my weight from foot to foot, I appreciated his directness. He owned his choices, and I could respect that. “Trust me, I know how convincing Tim can be. And I’ve already put a reminder in my phone to call the lawyer first thing Monday.”
“Good.” Calder nodded sharply. “And don’t think I didn’t notice you avoiding the kiss comment.”
I quickly dropped my hand. “You said we weren’t playing for that sort of thing.”
“No, I said I wouldn’t take your shirt. Never promised not to steal a kiss.” Stepping closer, he did exactly that, a quick peck that only left me that much more hungry for this to continue.
I groaned, more at my own fickle resolve than at his audacity. “Calder...”
“How about you play me for another kiss?” With the earlier tension evaporated, his playful grin made him awfully hard to resist.
“This is a terrible idea.” I racked up the balls for another round anyway.
“I know. You go ahead and break.”
Calder wasn’t the only one with a repertoire of trick shots. Not sure exactly what I was playing for or which outcome I wanted most, I nonetheless scored several points in succession.
“Oh, it’s on.” Calder whistled low. Impressing him felt better than it had any right to. “I think you have a secret competitive streak of your own, Doc.”
“Maybe.” I rubbed the back of my neck, still unsure whether I wanted to win or not.
“I guess you kind of have to be to make it through medical school.” He easily won some points of his own before leaning against the table. “How’d you pick your specialty? I bet you would have been a great pediatrician or something like that.”
“Kids are great. I always wanted to be doctor. And you’re right. Originally, I’d thought pediatrics.” I hesitated, not sure how much he really cared to know, but like with the story earlier, he listened with his whole body, eyes sharp, body turned toward me, and attention locked on me. He was too damn easy to talk with. “But then my grandmother spent her later years battling dementia and cognitive function loss and the accompanying depression and anxiety. I became fascinated by the research into treatments. I might not have been able to help her, but I can help others, and that means something to me.”
“Yeah. I can see that.” Calder tilted his head like he’d truly heard me, the solemn regard in his eyes more potent than a shot of bourbon. “She’d be proud. You’re a good guy.”
“I try.” I had to look away then before I kissed him senseless. I busied myself with the game, not keeping track of my shots until Calder groaned.
“Well, heck. You win.” His disappointed tone echoed through me.
“I do.” My voice was as grave as his, and I held his gaze until the air became thick, the moment almost unbearable.
And then I lunged for him.
Forget meaningless games. I wanted to kiss him, so I did. And unlike that first kiss, which had been born of an urge to comfort, this kiss was all combustible lust. He met me eagerly, as if he’d known all along that this would be the outcome.
His happy noise as our lips met went straight to my cock. Being able to give him something he wanted this damn much made me light-headed, giddy with power. Not content with little nips and sips, I delved deeper into his mouth, which parted on a needy gasp. He tasted sweet, like the marshmallows we’d toasted with the girls after dinner. His tongue against mine made my cock swell further until all I could think about was the next kiss, existing simply for that next brush of contact.
When he pulled away to suck in a deep breath, I grunted at the loss, an undignified protest, but I was beyond caring about appearances. I tugged him back closer. However, he winced.
“What?”
He shifted again, leaning more heavily against the table. “Sorry. My foot. Ignore it.”
“If you’re in pain...” My insistent desire was replaced with concern.
“It’s not that bad. But I wouldn’t turn down doing more of that in a bed. My room?”
Hell. He’d broken through my lust fog, and doubts rushed in. What was I doing? I couldn’t seriously be contemplating sex with Calder. Even this kiss was a serious indulgence, one I shouldn’t get in the habit of.
“I should go,” I mumbled, glancing back at the door. He reached for me, but before he could try to convince me with a kiss, I sidestepped him to go take care of the woodstove, bank it for the night.
“Sleepy already?” Calder followed me to the stove.
I nodded, not sure I trusted myself to speak. If he kissed me again, I’d be toast, but he didn’t. In fact, instead of making a case for me giving in, he turned toward the door.
“Liar.” Pausing in the doorway, he gave me a pointed look. “But you know where to find me if you find yourself...awake.”
Damn it. Just like that, he’d left the ball in my court. If I wanted more, I’d have to go to him. No getting overwhelmed with persuasive kisses and telling myself afterward it was a mistake or that I’d had no choice other than to get caught up in the moment. He was making me have to own my desires, and I made a frustrated noise to the now-empty room.
The smart thing would be to head straight to the couch, attempt something resembling sleep. Even taking a long shower would be a better choice than going to Calder. He was a near-stranger and I’d never been one for one-night stands, which this would surely be.
But I wanted. Oh, how I wanted.
I checked on the woodstove. Checked on the girls too, who were sleeping soundly. And then I stood in front of the couch.
You’re always so noble, I could practically hear Tim complain along with his frequent refrain, What would it hurt? And I was most definitely not taking life advice from my ex, but he had a point here. Whether I kissed Calder again or not, he was still gone in the morning. Why shouldn’t I have...fun.
That was what Calder had been advocating for. A diversion. A little secret fun that didn’t have to mean anything serious. My feet headed back down the hall without waiting for the go-ahead from my brain.
Calder had left the door to the bedroom cracked, as if he’d known I’d end up right here, and sure enough, he called out before I had a chance to retreat.
“Insomnia already, Doc?”
“Something like that.” I took a step into the room. Calder was lounging on top of the covers, book next to him. “This is nuts.”