While Felix was upstairs with the girls, I pulled out a deck of cards. I almost always had one on me, even on the sub. I’d switch them out when they got too old and bent to shuffle well, and I always kept spares too. This current deck had a maze-like pattern on the backs, and I traced it with my thumb as I listened to Felix call another good night to the girls. For all he didn’t seem inclined to like me, he was an amazing uncle. I’d liked when he’d read too. Felt a little like eavesdropping on their happy family unit, but cozy too, like visiting a good memory, especially when he did voices like my mom used to.
“Think they’ll actually sleep?” I asked as he came down the stairs. “If they’re anything like me and my brothers on our first night in a strange place, they’ll have a devil of a time drifting off.”
“Likely. But then that’s par for the course at home too. Endless delays of bedtime.” He sighed but his smile was fond.
“How long have you had them?” I wasn’t entirely sure how to phrase the inquiry, so I kept my voice carefully neutral.
“My half sister died a little under two years ago. It was sudden, but I’d already been around the girls a lot. Their father was an on-again/off-again boyfriend who didn’t stay in the picture. I know not everyone does, but I loved being an uncle from the start.” His tone said he likely knew I was in the not category. But being an uncle clearly suited him, and I could easily picture him with toddler tea parties and baby gifts like the stuffed elephant.
“They’re lucky to have you.” I meant the compliment too. Even though it was pretty clear he was only grudgingly tolerating my presence, he’d still fed me and brought me ice packs and meds. He was a natural caretaker and that was an admirable trait.
He checked on the fire, adding another log before turning back to me. “Thanks, but I’m the lucky one.”
“They do seem like great kids. Even the bloodthirsty one.”
“She is, isn’t she?” Felix sat back down in the same chair as earlier with a doting sort of smile. “We’re just coming off a phase where all manner of tragedies befell her dolls and animals, and we had frequent pretend funerals.”
I blinked. “I might take the ants.”
“I know, right?” He laughed, a nice warm sound cutting through the drafty room. “I tried to remind myself of that when I paid the exterminator.”
“That probably won’t be your weirdest bill. I’m sure my mom lost track of window replacements, wall repairs, vet visits, and emergency barber trips because of various stunts of the four of us boys.” Simply thinking about what we’d put my mom through had me wanting to send an apology text. I shifted against the couch cushions.
Felix’s eyebrows shot up. “Four boys? She sounds like a saint.”
“She’s pretty awesome when she’s not meddling in my love life.”
“Oh? She doesn’t like your anti-relationship stance?” Felix’s pointed tone reminded me that maybe I’d been a bit harsh earlier when we’d been talking about his divorce. He did seem like a good guy and he probably hadn’t deserved my rant on the perils of relationships.
“Mom wants all of her kids happily partnered and isn’t shy about making that known. It’s probably why I’m so adamant about not wanting to couple up—if I seem open to it, she’ll have a parade of prospects at the ready.” I took a deep breath to steady my suddenly jangly nerves. I sucked at apologies, but the next part needed to be said, tight back muscles and churning stomach and all. “But I’m sorry if I sounded judgmental about your situation. I get that a lot of people do want the whole picket-fence life, and I’m sure you didn’t know that Tim would turn out to be a jerk.”
“I didn’t. And we had a number of good years.” Felix’s sharpness was replaced by a weary resignation. “Some warning signs were there maybe, but we were happy and I ignored any alarm bells. Our main point of contention was about kids. When I decided to pursue permanent custody of the girls, he was out, and it wasn’t really a choice for me.”
God, what a dick. I might know myself that I wasn’t dad or husband material, but abandoning someone you’d made a commitment to was weak. I should have taken him for more winnings, taught him more of a lesson.
“Of course the girls had to come first. But it still sucked for you personally.” If I knew him better, I might have leaned over, patted his shoulder, but I had a strong feeling he’d flinch away.
“Yeah, it did. And now I actually agree with you. No relationships. Raising the girls is a full-time job. I don’t have room for much else.”
“Makes sense.”
Felix’s revelation made me a little sad and I had no idea why. Maybe it was that despite my pessimism about relationships, I liked seeing good people get what they wanted. Like my brothers and their relationships. I might not fully understand why they were willing to take the risk, but I still admired them in going for it.
I stretched out my tight back and tried to adjust my ankle on the pillow, which was a mistake, and I grunted to avoid cursing.
“Foot still in pain? How’s your head?” Felix instantly fell back into doctor mode. The mere mention of the possibility of a concussion had me frowning.
“My foot hurts when I move it, but it’s not quite as bad as earlier. And my head is fine. No headache, I swear.” I nodded like a kid promising to not get in trouble, but Felix shook his head like he wasn’t buying it.
“I’m still concerned. Repeat concussions are nothing to mess with.”
“Yeah, I know. I certainly didn’t mean to fall. Again.” I groaned as Felix came to crouch next to the couch and peered deeply into my eyes. “What are you doing?”
“Checking your pupils.” As he leaned in closer, I caught a whiff of an appealing scent. He smelled good. Clean, like strong soap, but not typical rich-guy pretentious aftershave. I liked it more than I had any right to, and I almost missed him sitting back on his heels to point a finger at me, drawing a line in the air. “And your tracking. Very good. Tell me if you notice any changes, even something small like suddenly feeling extra drowsy.”
I was definitely noticing a change, but not one I’d share with him. My body taking notice of his nearness had to be some sort of stress reaction, but still my insides fluttered in a way that didn’t happen all that often for me.
“I’ll tell you if I have any new symptoms. And I’m not even that tired yet.” Not liking this impromptu medical exam, I shuffled my cards again. “If you’re not going to bed yourself, would you want to play cards? Might beat watching the snow.”
His mouth pursed. “I’m not playing you for the cabin.”