Last week, I let her convince me to put a profile up on an online dating site after she and Chastity ambushed me. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking, but she was so insistent that I needed to live again and that it would make Chastity feel better. I had no idea anyone would actually contact me.
In seven days, I had a ton of messages, some creepy as fuck, others seeming like genuinely nice guys.
After listening to her badger me to reply to someone, I did, and he wanted to meet—tonight.
“Is this seat taken?” Derek’s voice says from the left. Great.
“Yes, actually. I’m waiting for someone.”
He smiles. “I see. Big date?”
“If you must know, yes.”
“Ahh, well, leaving a beautiful woman alone at the bar is never a good idea.”
I start to reply but the jackass takes the seat I was saving for Gavin or Gary or…shit…I need to look at his profile and remember his name.
“By all means,” I say with a flair of the dramatics. “Have a seat.”
“Thanks.”
I roll my eyes. “That was sarcasm.”
Derek’s deep chuckle fills the air around us. “And here I thought you were just being polite.”
He doesn’t get to come here, take my date’s seat, and gain my conversation. I use this opportunity to ignore him and look for what’s his name’s name on my phone.
Gavin. Phew. I was right.
I look toward the door, waiting to see if he’s who just came in, but it was just another town person. I really should’ve picked another location. It’s not like we have a plethora of options around here, but this was not my brightest idea.
I wanted somewhere I could easily escape from if I had to, though. I know every exit from the Crabhouse. Lord knows I’ve snuck both in and out of here—many times.
“No such luck, huh?” Derek asks and then hides his smile with his beer.
“I’m sorry?”
“Your date. He’s late?”
I straighten my back and look away. “He’ll be here.”
“Have you guys gone out before or is this a first date?”
“Don’t you have anyone else to annoy?”
He grins. “Nope.”
“Lucky me.”
“Chastity mentioned your big date tonight.”
I turn with my mouth gaping. “She what?”
Derek shrugs as if he didn’t say anything of consequence. “I heard you were meeting some guy off a dating site and I thought someone should be here in case you go missing. You know…chaperone.”
“And you thought you should do it?”
Meeting Greg—dammit—Gavin was going to be hard enough, but with my ex-best-friend-could’ve-been-more here it is going to be impossible.
“Why don’t you head home and I’ll let you know if I need help?” I suggest.
Derek leans in close. “But by that point, he could’ve buried your body. This way we’re able to make sure it doesn’t get to that point.”
“They make these amazing things nowadays called…cell phones.” I shake my phone at him for emphasis.
“I’m much faster than having to hope you have service.”
“If I remember correctly, you’re not very good in a fight. Gary—Gavin is a big guy, he could kick your ass and then take us both.”
Derek’s eyes fill with mischief as he smirks. “I work out now, I can handle Gary or Gavin or whatever his name is.”
I really want to kiss him—I mean kill him—and my daughter for her big mouth. She’s the one who pushed me to do this. Nina was of course no help. I know they love me and were trying to help, but this night is definitely not going as planned.
Being in a relationship isn’t that important to me.
Nina, however, disagreed with my priorities. She believes that the more I keep myself closed off, the more I’m holding on to the idea of being with Derek.
Sure, I love him. I always will.
But I don’t want him that way.
I’m pissed at him, in fact.
I’m going to have to give up all the resentment and pain, and I’m not sure I can. Trusting him cost me my heart once before. He has the power to hurt me deeper than anyone. While some may not understand my reluctance, I’m doing what I feel will protect me.
My head and my heart are at war. Both wanting different things, but not knowing if they can trust the other to make the right choice.
“While I appreciate the concern,” I say with my voice layered with sarcasm, “I will be fine without you here to ensure I don’t get murdered.”
I release a heavy sigh and look around. If this guy stands me up, it will be worse than getting murdered. Either way, I’m going to die of something.
“I’d rather not take the chance. Chastity needs you.”
“And I don’t need you.”
He laughs and raises his now-empty bottle toward the bartender, who bites her lip as she does a hip sway. Jesus, doesn’t anyone in this town remember how much they thought he was a dork and not worth their precious time? Now it’s like the second coming of Christ since he’s back.
Derek is so great.
Derek is a wonderful man, being a widower and all.
Oh, Derek, just…bless his broken heart.
I’d like to break something on him.
Instead of giving him the satisfaction of my would-be poor reaction, I open the stupid app again to see if my date messaged me.
Sure enough.
Hi Teagan, I’m really sorry but I can’t make it out there after all. I hope you forgive me but an issue came up at the office I can’t ignore. —Gavin
Unreal. I bet what came up is his wife found the dating app he thought he’d hidden. I’m so stupid. I knew this was a bad idea.
“What has you so sour?” he asks after the bartender gives him a beer. “Why aren’t you on pins and needles for this big date?”
I turn, my hand on the bar, gripping the edge. “Why are you here?”
“I told you.”
I don’t need him to swoop back into town to save me. I’m not a broken dove. I’ve done just freaking fine on my own the last thirteen years. He wasn’t concerned about my impending murder then.
“We’re not friends anymore, Derek. I don’t need you to protect me. I’ve managed on my own with guys that were probably ten times scarier than this dude.”
His body tenses enough to notice it. “I know we’re not friends anymore, Tea.”
“I didn’t mean that—”
“No, I know I fucked that all up, but it doesn’t mean we can’t begin again.”
“There’s too much between us and we’re fools if we believe otherwise.”
“You don’t even want to try?”
I want things to go back to the way they were before he returned to Chincoteague. As much as I hated the state of my life, it was predictable. I didn’t worry about running into him. There was no constant state of unease like what’s happening now. I’m going to end up with an ulcer at this rate.
“To what end?” I toss back.
“Not the end, Tea, a new beginning. Yes, we have history and it’s messy. A long time ago we made stupid choices, but I’d like to start over.” Derek gets to his feet, extending his hand to me. “I’m Derek Hartz. I once was a good guy who was a really loyal friend and I’m an ass who learned from the mistake of hurting someone I loved. And you are?”