“I’m right here.” Her fingers rake through my hair. “I’m listening.”
“He was in tears when I walked into the room. It was a suite. I was heading to my bedroom when I heard him sobbing.”
“That must have been difficult.”
“It slayed me,” I admit. “I felt as though I let him down. I didn’t realize the depth of that until I found him crumpled on the floor in the living room of the suite. He was curled in ball.”
Her breathing quickens.
“I picked him up and hugged him. I told him I was sorry.” My voice cracks. “I told him I loved him.”
I hear a whimper escape Juliet’s lips, so I tug her closer. I know this can’t be easy for her to hear.
“He let me hold him like that in my arms.” I sigh. “He was shorter than me, but just as strong. He pushed me away and starting yelling about how ungrateful I was. He told me he’d worked his fingers to the bone to give me everything and I was walking away from it all. He called me a selfish little bastard.”
“Oh god,” Juliet whispers.
I drop my head. “He was walking in circles, muttering about assholes, and ungrateful fucks and sacrifice and his legacy. He raised his voice to scream to me that I was destroying his legacy.”
I swallow hard, steadying myself so I can continue.
“I told him to calm down. I begged him to.” I squeeze Juliet’s hand in mine. “I had to raise my voice to drown out his. I just wanted him to look at me. He’d done it before. He had moments like that when I was growing up, but my mom could always reach him. She could always find a way to get him to listen, but that night I couldn’t.”
Tears well in my eyes as I think about that moment. That very last moment.
“I approached him. I was crying too by then. I wanted him to sit with me.” I shake my head. “I thought of Nigel. I thought maybe Nigel could get through to him. He was with us, but in a room across the hall so I turned my back to go get him.”
Juliet sobs.
I do too. “I heard his feet on the matted carpet. It was as loud as the thunder outside. He ran toward it and by the time I turned back around I saw him barrel through the floor to ceiling window.”
I drop my head into my hands.
“I didn’t think it would break, but it shattered and he was gone.”
Juliet brought me to bed.
After I relived the worst moment of my life, she took me by the hand, undressed me, and then crawled in next to me.
She held me while I cried, and while I slept.
I sense a sudden shift in her breathing so I glance to my left to find her eyes wide open.
“You’re awake,” I say for some reason.
The smile on her face that follows may be the only reason I need.
“So are you,” she points out before she kisses me softly on the mouth.
I run a hand over her delicate chin. “That was hard.”
“I know.” She presses her lips to my palm. “I’m honored that you trusted me enough to tell me.”
“I trust you with my life,” I say with absolutely no reservation. “But, there’s more, Juliet.”
“There’s more?”
I nod.
“Do you want to talk about it now or later?”
“Now,” I bite the word out. “I want you to understand everything.”
I close my eyes briefly to gather my thoughts. I hear the soft sound of the lamp on the nightstand being turned on.
The soft light it provides is just enough for me to see her beautiful face clearly. I need to focus on that so I can get all of this out. So I can begin to put it behind me.
“By the time he jumped, Nigel was banging on the door. He had heard us arguing. I ran to let him in. I was panicked. Jesus, was I panicked, Juliet.”
“I can’t imagine what you went through.”
“He rushed in, and told me to call 911. I couldn’t think straight, so I ran into my bedroom to get my cell phone even though it was in my pocket.”
“That’s understandable,” she says softly.
“That’s when I saw the envelope in the middle of my bed.”
“An envelope? From who?”
I look into her eyes. “My dad. It was a note, written on the hotel stationary.”
“A suicide note?”
I nod. “I ripped it open and read the first few lines. Nigel was in the room with me by then. I threw it at him and told him to make it disappear.”
“It must have been so painful to read.”
“Painful, so painful,” I repeat. “But, it held secrets. I didn’t read all of those secrets in that moment, but I read enough.”
“I don’t understand,” she whispers.
“Ares was in trouble financially. He had run his personal funds dry to keep the business thriving. He was embroiled in an affair with one of his aides.”
“Serious trouble then.”
I kiss her forehead. “Very and for a long time, I refused to acknowledge that note. I carried the burden of his death on my shoulders. I believed that he had waited to jump until I came back because it was a plea for help, and when we argued that was enough to push him to do it. I blamed myself. I felt I had killed him because I couldn’t save him.”
“You were arrested for his murder,” she says. “Kavan, the note would have cleared you right away.”
I look into her eyes. “It would have tarnished his legacy, Juliet, and that was all I had left to give him. All I could do to right my wrong was to honor his dream, so I asked Nigel to keep the note private.”
“You’re lucky the charges were dropped.” She moves to rest a hand on my chest. “You could have gone to prison for life, Kavan.”
“I had a good lawyer and they had no evidence of a murder other than statements made by some of the hotel guests.” I press my hand over hers. “They dropped the charges, sealed his death records, and it was over.”
“People still believe that you killed him, Kavan.”
“I know I didn’t. You know I didn’t. That’s all that matters to me.”
She presses her forehead against mine. “You have been through hell.”
“I survived it. My father didn’t,” I whisper. “I was given access to my trust fund a few months later when I turned twenty-five, so I paid back his debts, balanced the books of Bane Enterprises and have worked hard since then to preserve his legacy.”
“I understand.”
“I have never been ashamed of the way my father died,” I say with conviction. “If I believed that sharing that note would help someone dealing with mental health issues, I’d do that. The secrets in that note would hurt a lot of people, so I’ve tried to strike a balance by funding mental health initiatives, and I want to do more. I want to be more hands on.”
“I admire that.” Her hand trails over my chin. “You’re in a position to make a difference in this world.”
“You’ve made a remarkable difference in mine, Juliet.”
“I want to keep doing that.”
“Forever?”
“Forever,” she repeats before she gifts me with a soft kiss.