“Very much so,” she says matter-of-factly.
I stare up at the ceiling for a moment. The reality of my life is really sinking in as we lie here together. “I wouldn’t have anyone else here except for you. No one that I’ve ever been involved with has held a candle to you. You are my family and deserve to be here.”
“I have something I want to share with you, but I have a question first.” She pauses for a moment; I think she’s soaking in my touch and the silence. “What happened in the kitchen? You and your mom came back into the lounge room differently.”
My fingers never stop moving, often like my thoughts. “She told me how much she adores you, and she noticed your earrings.”
She pushes up quickly and rests on her forearm. “Oh my God. Was she angry? I didn’t even think about her reaction, Tristan. I’m so sorry,”
“Petal, calm down.” I pull her back down to lie with me again. “She was completely understanding and agreed that you should have them. She even said that Raissa would have approved and adored you.”
“That… that means everything to me.”
“Me too, Petal.” I kiss the top of her head. “Now, what did you have to share?”
“Your proud father pulled out a couple of photo albums and walked me through his office. I just realized you don’t have any pictures of Raissa out at home.”
“Oh, Petal,” I exhale, “it’s been too painful. I haven’t shown it this time, but usually it pains me to be in London, period. However, this time, with you, I’m finding it easy to breathe, easy to be here.”
“Your sister was so beautiful.”
“Yes, Petal, she was. Mum asked if I would go and visit her memorial. Would you come with me? After our visit, I’d like to take you to one of her favorite gardens for lunch, then her favorite museum. It would be like spending the day with her.”
“Of course I would. I’d love to.”
I place my hand under her chin and tip her head back until I can see her face.
“Thank you,” I tell her.
“Don’t thank me. I’m honored to go with you.”
She pushes up a little as I angle my face downward so we can meet in the middle for a soft, tender kiss.
“I love you, Petal.” I push her hair from her face and cradle her cheek.
“I love you too… Button.” She smirks and I reach down to tickle her sides in response.
***
I wake up with this weight on my chest. I know Nora can sense it as well. She doesn’t say anything, she simply encourages me. The warmth of the sun coats us as we silently look over her memorial site. The grass is trimmed and thick around the marble. The flowers in the vases and the pots surrounding it are in full bloom and in every color of the rainbow. They glow as she did. I ask my Petal for a private moment. I feel this need to tell Raissa that I was able to avenge her in some way, but also ask her for her forgiveness.
“Take your time,” Nora says with a gentle hand on my back as I stare down at my sister’s name engraved in marble. “There’s no rush. We can stay as long as you’d like.”
I nod in understanding then lower myself down to eye level with the headstone, placing my hand on the top.
“Hello, sweet girl. I know you’re likely saying well it took you fucking long enough, and you’re right, but here I am. I’ve had a hard time, not like you didn’t know. It comes in waves. I had a wave over me for a long time until Nora. She’s started to heal my heart. You’re tied to her in supernatural ways I cannot explain. If you sent her, thank you. If you help protect her, thank you. I avenged you, Raissa. It wasn’t planned. I’m not proud, but I’m also not sorry. I know it won’t bring you back, but that son of a bitch won’t be allowed to harm another soul on this earth. He’s in hell and won’t be near you either. I can live with that. I miss you. I miss you so much sometimes I can scarcely breathe, but I know you want me to. You always wanted more for me than I wanted for myself. I’ve found that more. I love her. I love you, always and forever.”
I don’t have to see Nora’s face to know that there are tears on her cheeks. Her sniffs give that away. Her voice, however, is something I wasn’t expecting to hear right now.
“Raissa, I’m Nora, but I have a feeling you already know that. I promise you that I’ll take care of your brother, just as he takes care of me. I’ll protect him just the way you’d want and I’ll love him with my entire heart. Thank you for watching over him and keeping him safe until life allowed me to make it to his side.” She reaches forward and places her hand next to mine on the marble headstone then bends over and kisses the top of my head.
Nora and I find peace together under the shade of several trees in a nearby garden. We snack on a light lunch and a bottle of white wine. I regale her with stories of Raissa and me as children. It involved a few trees climbed, a few calls from school administration, and a few trips to where we were headed next.
My Petal has been so inquisitive today, more so than usual. She knows that I’m more settled being back home and erasing the last bit of heaviness I’ve been carrying around. The curator of the museum greets us nearly instantaneously as we enter the lobby. It’s been a long time. The building seems quieter than normal today, which is fine with me. Nora wants to know what I think about nearly every piece we pass.
It reminds me of the night we went to the gallery show on one of our first times out together. However, this time, her hand is linked with mine and every so often, she grows even closer and rests her beautiful head on my shoulder for a fraction of a second.
We round a corner and come to a small room that is showcasing pieces from the medieval period. It’s dark with only the framed artwork having a display light shown down on them.
“These are beautiful,” she says as we stroll by and appreciate each and every one.
The final, large painting on the far wall grabs our attention more than the others. It’s a large, pink and red flower, a rose, and it’s absolutely breathtaking, and for some reason, the very first thing that pops into my mind is Raissa.
“It seems odd that this painting is hanging with the others. All of those around it are so dark, ominous, almost battle-like. This one, it’s hopeful, full of life. It’s so beautiful it’s nearly sad.”
“I agree.”
Two words.
I find I have this wild sensation flowing through my body. I find I have the inability to focus on any other thought than the one that’s washed over me like a tidal wave.
“Marry me?” I ask. Nora’s hand drops from mine. She takes a step back. I hear her breath echoing all around us. “Did you hear me, Petal? Marry me.”
“Tristan,” she says, her voice completely breathy and shaking. I can tell I’ve completely overwhelmed her. I’ve overwhelmed myself, but I’ve never been so sure of a single decision in my existence. “Do you mean that?”
“I don’t have a ring to place on your finger as an outward symbol. I hadn’t planned on this today or even in the near future, but standing here, with you… I had to ask you right now, at this moment.” I finally turn to face her and see the tears filling her eyes. “I want to spend every single second of the rest of my life with you, Petal. Marry me?”