I slid my palms up his chest. “Don’t apologize. Like I said, it’s not a big deal.”
“Well, it’s a big deal to me. I love you, Remi. And there is nothing I won’t do to make this work with you. So, from here on out, no walls. No defense mechanisms. Just us.”
I smiled. “Okay, but I want to know all that stuff about you too. It’s just the beginning though. We’ve got time.”
His breath hitched. “You’re Goddamn right we do, but I’m serious. I’m trusting you to call me on my shit. If I’m not giving you something you need, you’ve gotta open that sexy mouth of yours and let me know so I can fix it before it festers. I don’t want to even consider the possibility of losing you, especially not over a communication issue.”
“Okay,” I repeated.
Even if he hadn’t told me he loved me that night, it would have been the exact minute I finally blurted it out to him. I hadn’t been in many relationships, and none as serious as ours, but I was pretty sure things weren’t always easy. There were enough men in my life for me to know they could often be prideful, and pointing out something that could be construed as a flaw often went south—fast. But not with Bowen. He was quick to face a problem head-on. Even if it meant taking on blame that up until that moment he hadn’t realized was his to carry.
For me, that was a whole different league of attractive.
I sighed. God bless that stupid cursed dress and the courthouse steps for bringing such a man into my life. Well, that and the stubborn, never-take-no-for-an-answer attitude I’d inherited from my father.
“I like the sound of that sigh,” he said.
“Good. Because I really enjoy the feel of it.”
“Let’s keep it that way.” He kissed the tip of my nose and then turned me around so his front was facing my back. “So back to your story. Did you get to see your mom that day?”
I heard him squeeze shampoo into his hand and then he began gently lathering my hair. Smiling, I tilted my head back and closed my eyes. I loved Bowen’s hands whenever and wherever they touched my body, but there was something so intimate about the act of this strong, gorgeous man washing my hair.
“Yeah. I saw her. She was nice enough. She hugged me and then scolded me for not calling first before stopping by. It was a miracle I even had her address, much less her phone number. But whatever. I’m not going to lie. I loved spending time with her. She was a good mom. Just not to me.”
“Remi,” he breathed. With gentle hands, he turned me again, rinsing my hair under the hot spray. “Did you maintain a relationship with her after that?”
“No. After a few hours, she told me it was getting late and she needed to start dinner. She didn’t ask me to stay. She didn’t ask how long I’d be in town. Or arrange plans for the next day. She just walked me to the door, hugged me, and told me it was great to see me again. When that door closed, my stomach dropped, and it felt like she had abandoned me all over again.”
“Jesus, babe.” He framed my face with both of his hands and brought his mouth down over mine for a deep but all-too-brief kiss. “She doesn’t deserve you—then, now, or in the future. Do you hear me? You are an incredible woman who anyone would be proud to call their daughter. Truth be told, I feel sorry for her. She’s really the one missing out. What a fool.”
“Bowen, you don’t need to give me a pep talk. I’m cool now. It was hard at first, but I have my dad and some pretty amazing friends. My dad’s wife is awesome too. She has kids of her own, but she’s always gone out of her way to include me. That’s all the family I need. I don’t even know why I brought it up. I’ve never told anyone about that trip before. Honestly, it’s embarrassing to even think about.”
He kissed me again, his lips gentle and filled with gratitude. “Well, I’m glad you told me. I may not always have the right thing to say, Remi. But you’ll never catch any judgment from me.”
That was the exact moment when I should have told him about my memory loss. Rip off the Band-Aid and get it out there once and for all. It wasn’t necessarily a secret. I just wasn’t ready to tell him yet.
He wouldn’t have cared. I knew it with every fiber of my being.
But he would look at me differently. He’d ask questions about how I was feeling. Daily curiosity if I’d remembered anything new. The answer was always no. But God, it was a lot of pressure to fake it sometimes.
And if that weren’t bad enough, he’d start treating me different. The way Mark and Aaron did. I appreciated both of them more than words could ever convey. I didn’t know what I would have done without them after the plane crash. But I felt like a kid with two overprotective brothers who would flip their shit if I so much as got a headache.
I adored the way Bowen looked at me. Like I was a whole independent woman and not a porcelain doll who’d been glued back together, yet still missing a few pieces.
Honestly, when I was with him, it was the only time I felt like my old self again. And for a woman who had lost almost a year of her life, that was far too precious to gamble with.
So, instead of spilling it all, I smiled and nipped at his bottom lip. “Well, this has been a big night. You got a garden table and the sob story about my mom.”
He smirked. “You left out the blow job. And the fact that I somehow managed to make you fall in love with me. Not a bad night if you ask me.” He cut the water off and then grabbed two towels off the rack. Passing one my way, he said, “It’ll be even better if you let me skip out on finishing the table tonight so I can take you to bed and bury my head between your thighs.”
I laughed.
But I did not say no.
Remi
“Surprise!” we yelled when my dad walked into the private bar area at The Rusty Nail.
He stumbled back several steps, but Mark was behind him, keeping him upright.
With wide eyes, Dad scanned the room, his hand clutched over his heart. “Good lord, you can’t do that to an old ticker.”
Everyone laughed, including Bowen, who was standing beside me with his arm draped around my hips. Aaron was on my other side, grinning like the cat who ate the canary. Trust me, no one was more surprised than I was that he’d actually been able to keep a secret from my dad for that long.
After a few handshakes and back pats, Dad made a beeline over to me and dragged me into a hug. Thoroughly rattled, he whispered into my ear, “Jesus, kid. You could have given me a little warning. I thought I was coming to fix a fryer. I didn’t even comb my hair.”
I giggled. “You don’t warn people about a surprise party, Dad. If you do, it just becomes a plain old boring party.”
“Plain old boring is my middle name.” He released me and hauled Bowen into a hug, asking, “Did you know about this too?”
My dad was friendlier than most. He adopted anyone and everyone who walked into his restaurant, so it wasn’t out of the ordinary to see him doling out hugs to virtual strangers. Though Bowen’s stiff posture and look of horror made it significantly more amusing than usual.
I slapped a hand over my mouth to stifle my laughter.
“Uhhh,” Bowen drawled, cutting his gaze to me over my dad’s shoulder. “Nice to meet you too, sir.”