I bark out a laugh, clasping my belly. Truly, that’s hilarious. So damn funny I can’t wait to tell Emerson and Olive and my dad.
“The answer is no. Let me show you out.” Now my tone isn’t flat, isn’t empty. It’s wickedly amused.
She’s more selfish than I ever imagined, and I no longer feel small. I no longer feel betrayed by her decision to romance my former fiancé.
Thank God she took him from me.
If I’d gone through with that dumb decision, I’d have said I do to the wrong man, a man who wasn’t right for me.
And if I’d walked down the aisle, I’d never have run into Harlan again. Harlan—the man who makes my heart and body sing.
There is no convincing, no tricking, no uncertainty with Harlan.
If my mother hadn’t snagged Silvio, I wouldn’t have found all my own strength—the strength to live entirely differently from her.
I owe her nothing.
I owe myself so much more.
Thank you, universe, for showing me that.
I stride to the door, yank it open, and sweep out my arm. “I believe we’re done.”
The second she leaves, I grab my phone, and take the next step—something I should have done a week ago.
27
Katie
I don’t like to bail on appointments, but I have to. As I snag a Lyft, I call Elliot at my yoga studio.
“Hey, Ells. I need a favor. Big time.”
“Anything for you, doll,” he says brightly. “Do you need me to grab you a hot tea or a lemon cookie from Doctor Insomnia’s?”
“Both sound delish. Get them for yourself and put them on my tab. But actually, I need you to reschedule the videographer. I’m so sorry, and I’ll pay his fee for today, of course. But something came up and I have to take care of it.”
“Of course, love. Everything okay?”
I smile, unsure of the answer, but hopeful. “That’s the goal.”
Then I call Olive to tell her I’m coming to see her, but she doesn’t answer.
Oh well. I’m going in anyway.
I’m rarely here at our corporate office in Hayes Valley, but I still know nearly everyone, so I say hi to our employees as I walk through the cubes.
As I head for Olive’s office, nerves thrum through me.
Should I have said something to her sooner? Let her in on my plans?
The nerves take flight as I reach her door, ajar as always. Whether I picked the wrong time or not, I still need to do this.
Deep breath.
I’ve got this.
I rap my knuckles on the wood, peeking around. She’s stretched out on her couch.
She and Zachary are pointing to his laptop, laughing hard at the screen. “And then it goes like this.” He lifts a hand and mimes swatting something . . . off a counter, maybe?
Ah, they must be watching cat videos. Olive is addicted to evil cats.
Olive looks up, laughing still as she waves me in. “You have to see this one. This tuxedo is such an asshole. She knocked over the coffee-maker for literally no reason.”
Zachary stares at her. “Olive, there’s not no reason. She’s a cat. That’s reason enough.”
“True, true.”
I join them on the couch, watching the video of a dastardly cat swatting mugs, vases, shot glasses, and more to the floor in a cacophony of sound and feline destruction. When the demolition is complete, Zachary shuts his laptop, winded from laughter.
Olive is his twin in chuckling. I’m not sure if this means she’ll be in a better mood to receive my news or if I’m about to burst her bubble.
Zachary pushes his glasses up his nose then stands, clutching the silver laptop. “I’ve got a conference call, so I better take off. Good to see you, Katie. Don’t be a stranger.” Then he leaves, shutting the door.
Smart guy.
Olive sighs happily, then meets my gaze and roams her eyes up and down my frame. “It must be a special day. You’re hardly ever here. Are you going to whisk me off to test that new chocolate shop that just opened today? Because I had plans already to eat my lunch there.”
“No,” I say, steeling myself to tell her the truth, the full truth, and nothing but. “Listen,” I begin.
In a nanosecond, she sits up straighter, her expression shifting to intensely serious. “Oh.”
Images of my mother flicker before my eyes. Her pop-in this morning. Her assumptions. The way she’s lived her life. My deep, potent desire to be the opposite to her. I haven’t entirely been that way these last few days, but I have to be now. If I want to have the life I desire, I can’t operate like her at all. Not one bit. “Mom came by this morning.”
Olive cringes. “What did she want?”
“To ask me to be her maid of honor. She’s marrying Silvio.”
Olive’s jaw clangs to the center of Earth, then back up. “Oh, Katie. I’m so sorry.”
I shake my head, quickly dismissing any sympathy. “It’s fine. I’m not upset. I don’t care about her or him. But the thing is, I don’t want to be like her. Not at all. And I have been. I haven’t been truthful with you.”
Confusion crosses her face, lining her brow. “Okay. What do you mean?”
With my head held high, I begin. “I fell in love with Harlan while working with the Renegades. He’s wonderful and amazing, and I’m going to start seeing him. We were going to wait till the end of the season, and I’ve been looking for a replacement to recommend for the classes I teach them, and I had this whole plan to find someone who they’d want and be impressed with. I was going to finish out the contract and then tell you,” I say, and sadness flickers in my sister’s eyes.
“You were?” She sounds devastated.
I’m such an ass for hurting Sassy Yoga. But I have to do this. No matter what.
“I’m so sorry, Olive. I know it probably seems selfish, and I’m about to tank a deal. But I can’t be this person who’s ridiculously in love with this guy and making plans to be with him and not tell you. And not tell them—Lacey at Wilder Enterprises. I feel like I’m deceiving everyone, and that’s wrong. I hope you can forgive me, but I can’t work with them anymore. And that has to start now.”
She shakes her head and doesn’t stop shaking it.
My heart plummets, knowing I’ve disappointed her so terribly. Tears well in my eyes, and a lump forms in my throat.
“I’m sorry,” I say past the hitch. “I’m sorry I messed up this deal you and Zachary worked so hard for. But I just can’t lead a double life. I need to be honest about this—fully honest. So I’m truly sorry.”
She gets up, scoots closer, wraps an arm around me.
Huh.
That’s not what I expected.
“Um, I thought you were upset. You were just shaking your head like crazy,” I say, flummoxed.
She laughs into my hair. “Because I’m so happy for you, you dork.” Then she yanks me in tighter for a hug.
Second out-of-body experience so far today, and it’s not even noon. But I go with it, hugging her back. “You’re happy for me? You don’t hate me? You don’t think I’m terribly selfish?” I ask against her shoulder as tears slip down my cheeks.