“I don’t want to tell him, but I don’t want him finding out the hard way or discovering I knew and said nothing. If the tables were turned, I’d want him to tell me.”
“I agree with all of that, but I need you to trust I’m handling it the best way I can.”
His eyes penetrate mine. “What don’t I know?”
I swing my arms at my sides as I pick up my pace. “Things are in motion.” I’m being vague on purpose because I can’t tell him I’m divorcing Curtis before I tell my kids. Vander is already hiding enough from West. “I can’t tell you yet, and I hate that I have to ask you to lie to your best friend. You are already keeping one big secret from him, and now this.”
“No offense, Kendall, but that’s my call to make, not yours. I’m not planning on saying anything to West about his dad, but I can’t promise that will always be the case. Haven’t we already been over this? What’s the point in repeating ourselves?”
I jerk to a halt. “The point is, I can’t spend time with you if you won’t butt out!”
His eyes widen, and a big-ass smile materializes on his face. “You still want to spend time with me?”
I chew on the inside of my mouth as I start walking again. “We shouldn’t. What happened Saturday night proves us hanging out is risky.”
“But you were enjoying yourself, right?” He takes my elbow, forcing me to stop. “I didn’t just imagine it. We had a good time.”
Since Saturday night, I have been trying to convince myself to let him go. Believing the West incident was a sign that continuing this friendship will only end in disaster. But, for reasons even I don’t understand, I can’t let him go.
I should, but I can’t.
“We did,” I reluctantly admit. “But West almost caught us. What would you have told him if he did discover us together?”
“The truth.” He tucks a stray piece of my hair back into my ponytail. “That nothing happened. I cooked you dinner, and we talked about philosophy over a glass of wine and a beer.” He shoves his hand back in the pocket of his sweats. “He wouldn’t have read any more into it. His brain would never go there. You’re making this out to be something more than it is.”
I arch a brow because come on. He knows I know he still wants more than friendship, and we have admitted our feelings are stronger than that. I honestly don’t know what I’m doing or why I can’t just shut this down—whatever the hell this is.
His lips twitch. “Focus on the facts, Kendall. Nothing has happened. It’s innocent.”
Brushing his lips against mine was hardly innocent although it stopped short of a kiss. “Let’s not kid ourselves. We both know our feelings for one another are far from innocent.”
He leans down, pressing his mouth up against my ear. “But we haven’t acted on those feelings,” he whispers, and I shiver all over. “Yet.” He straightens up and flashes me a grin. “Whenever you change your mind, I’ll be more than happy to act out my every fantasy with you.”
My jaw slackens, and my mouth drops open. He chuckles before waggling his fingers and jogging away, leaving me dumbstruck and tingling with anticipation in the middle of the park.
21
VANDER
“Are you out of the doghouse yet?” I ask West as we sit on the large deck that wraps around the rear of his house, drinking beer, while Stella, Kendall, my mom, and West’s grandmother put the finishing touches to our Thanksgiving dinner. Ridge is watching TV in the game room, and Curtis is with his father in the study, smoking cigars and drinking bourbon. It’ll be a miracle if I get through this dinner without ramming my fist in his face, but I promised Kendall I wouldn’t interfere, and I’m determined to keep the promise this time.
“Not fully, but I think it’ll be okay.” He takes a swig from his bottle. “You were right. The flowers helped.”
I grin. “Told ya.” I went all out and gave Kendall the biggest bouquet of pink and purple flowers. It’s Thanksgiving, so I can get away with it. The look on Curtis’s face was priceless, but he had to suck it up as his parents were watching. I asked Mom to hand Kendall the champagne and chocolates so it didn’t look too obvious. “Women love flowers.”
“That’s what Mom said. Anyway, Hazel called to thank me for them. She said she loved me and she was just all up in her feelings. We’re going to hang out tomorrow.”
“Good. I’m sick of looking at your mopey, heartbroken face.”
He thumps me in the arm. “I missed her like crazy. It kills me to go more than a few hours without seeing her, holding her, or talking to her. Honestly, this past week, it has felt like I was missing a part of my heart.”
“I know the feeling,” I blurt without thinking.
He sits up straighter, eyeing me curiously. “You do?”
Goddamn it, Vander. I’m a fucking moron. I can’t backpedal, so I’ll have to make a joke of it instead. “Of course, I don’t!” I punch him in the arm. “I’m just messing with ya. What the hell would I know about missing a girl?”
I could write the book on it.
“Truth, dude.” He smirks before taking a swig of his beer. “One of these days, you’ll know, and then you’ll get it.”
I shrug, drinking my beer and keeping my mouth shut before I put my foot in it again.
“Things aren’t good at home,” he adds, lowering his tone and glancing around. “My parents had a blazing argument last night, and I think they’re going to split up. Things have been super tense since our conversation, and I’m beginning to think my dad fed me a pile of horseshit.”
I wish I could confirm he did, but I can’t involve myself without losing Kendall. And I meant what I said—I couldn’t hurt my friend like that either. Unless there is no other option. West will find out in time, and when he does, I’ll be there to support him through it. I still don’t understand why Kendall hasn’t kicked Curtis’s cheating ass to the curb because she’s no pushover. But I know she has an agenda and I need to be patient. “What was the fight about?” I probe.
“I’m not sure, but Stella thinks it’s because she kicked him out of the bedroom and moved all of his things to the guest bedroom.”
I silently fist pump the air and cheer Kendall on. I don’t know what she has planned, but I pray she executes it fast because it will mean one less hurdle to jump in convincing her she belongs with me.
Dinner was bearable but only just. Kendall and Curtis put on a show, which seemed obvious to me, but I’m the only one around the table in the know. Mom behaved, but I knew she would. She has mastered the art of looking sober while alcohol sluices through her veins, and she’s had enough practice making small talk at my father’s social events to sail through dinner without raising eyebrows. I notice Curtis giving both of us the stink eye when he thinks no one is looking, and I get an enormous thrill out of knowing I bug him.
It’s not the first time I’ve met his parents—West’s grandparents and Kendall’s in-laws—and they are nice people. They are always pleasant and take the time to talk with me. I have no clue how they managed to produce such a disappointing offspring. I bet they’ll be disgusted when they find out what he’s done.