“I can’t bear the thought of you living with him. I can’t stand to think of him putting his hands on you. I have never felt the intensity of the feelings I have for you, and I’m struggling to deal with all the uncertainty.”
I can relate to that. A sigh escapes my lips as I rest my head on his chest. “God, we are making such a mess of this.”
He sets his chin on my head while his fingers tangle in my hair. “We were warned it wouldn’t be easy.”
I bark out a dry laugh. “That’s an understatement.” Lifting my head, I look up at him, instantly magnetized by the hypnotic depths of his big green eyes. “I should be the adult in this situation, but I’m clueless. I’m struggling as much as you are.”
“I’m an adult too, Kendall, and you don’t have to shoulder it alone. But I don’t know how to handle this when Curtis is in the way.”
I trail my hand up his chest, needing the solidity of his body to ground me. “I’m divorcing Curtis, Vander,” I admit because there doesn’t seem to be much point in keeping it a secret for the sake of a few hours. “We are telling West, Stella, and Ridge tomorrow, and I was planning on telling you then. He’s moving out tomorrow night.”
His eyes light up, and I can practically see a layer of stress lift from his shoulders. He clasps my face in his hands. “I know this must be tough for you, and I know West is going to be upset, but I won’t lie and say this doesn’t make me happy, because it does.”
“I can’t promise you anything yet.”
He leans in and kisses my lips. “That’s okay.”
“My children will need me, and my head is pretty much a mess.”
“Mine too.” His mouth glides against mine again, and I grab his shirt. “We can figure it out as we go along.”
“Vander, I—” He cuts me off with a long, slow, passionate kiss, and I stop protesting, giving in to him as he bands his arms around me and holds me close. He angles my head so he can take the kiss deeper, and I willingly open for him when his tongue slides along the seam of my mouth. I moan into his mouth as his tongue plunges inside, stroking mine and ramping my desire up a couple of notches. His erection digs into my stomach as he moves us back until my spine hits the wall. Grabbing my thigh, he pulls my leg up around his waist, and I gasp as his hard length presses against my pussy through my flimsy dress. My panties are wet, my core pulsing with abject need as the kiss turns heated and we grind against one another, groping and caressing through our clothes, and I’m slowly losing control.
We are on the verge of taking it to the next level when a pounding sounds on my door. We jump apart as my heart somersaults in my chest and blood rushes to my head. “Mom,” Stella calls out. “Are you in there?”
I almost collapse against the wall as I look at the door, noticing Vander locked it. Thank fuck, I got a new deadbolt. If Stella had walked in on this, I don’t know how I would have explained it. “Give me a minute, sweetheart,” I call out.
I point at the bathroom and shove Vander in that direction while lifting a finger to my lips to urge him to be silent. Lowering his head, he plants a quick soft kiss on my lips while I slap him away and push him into the bathroom, quietly closing the door. There isn’t time to check if I’m presentable, so I quickly straighten up my clothes and rub around my lips to catch any errant lipstick before smoothing my hair back and striding toward the door.
The second I unlock it, my daughter falls into the room, and I barely manage to catch her. I narrow my eyes at her as she straightens up. “Have you been drinking?”
She giggles. “A little.”
“Damn it, Stella. Your grandparents are here. They’ll throw a hissy fit if they see you’re drunk.” Curtis’s parents are lovely, but a bit straitlaced.
“Gram and Gramps are gone.” Stella yawns and flops down on my bed. “I came up to see if you were okay. West and Bowie had a massive argument in front of everyone.” For God’s sake. I told Curtis to take care of it. Honestly, he can’t be trusted to do a damn thing. “And then Shepherd hit Bowie,” Stella continues, “when Gayle revealed Bowie has a bit of a thing for older women and, apparently, he fucked Shep’s mom last year.”
I wonder if that is what this is for Vander. A desire to sample an older woman before he gets it out of his system and returns to dating girls his own age. Shaking those disturbing thoughts aside, I refocus on my inebriated daughter. “Welp, it wouldn’t be a party without some drama, I suppose,” I say, taking Stella’s hand and pulling her up. I need to get her out of here so I can get Vander out of my bedroom before someone sees. Hiding him in my bathroom has me all kinds of nervous.
Stella cocks her head to the side, studying me curiously. “Are you feeling okay? You look flushed, and you have a rash all over your chest.” She laughs as she toys with my hair. “Were you rolling around in the garden or something? Your hair is all messed up.”
“I’m not the one you should be worrying about, missy. You’re swaying on your feet.”
“I’m fi—” Her eyes startle wide as she clamps a hand over her mouth.
I can only watch in horror as she races toward the bathroom door and yanks it open. Panic slams into me, nausea swims up my throat, and my knees almost go out from underneath me. The sounds of vomiting reach my ears, and I force my shaky limbs to move. When I step into the bathroom, my daughter is bent over the toilet bowl, puking her guts up, but there is no sign of Vander. A light wind lifts strands of my hair, and I glance at the window, noticing it is open.
Oh my God. He must be outside, hiding in the tree that butts up against this side of the house. I hope he’s okay because there is nothing I can do until Stella stops getting sick. Needing to do something to distract my jangled nerves, I wet a damp cloth and attend to my daughter, wiping her brow and pushing hair out of her eyes while she expels the contents of her stomach.
After, I help her to her room, telling her to get changed and that I’ll be back with some water. Then I dash back into my bedroom, closing and locking the door before racing to the bathroom. I’m just in time to see Vander climbing back through the window. “Are you crazy? I hiss. “You could have fallen and seriously injured yourself!” I help him to maneuver his body inside. He barely fits through the window, and it’s a miracle he managed to get outside before Stella caught him.
“I had no choice. There was nowhere else to hide, and I couldn’t risk Stella finding me.” He jumps down and straightens up. “That was a close call,” he adds, grinning and visibly shivering.
I rub my hands up and down his arms and over his body to help warm him up. “Too close.” First West, and now Stella. I’m not cut out for this, at all, and I feel so guilty for hiding something as big as this from my kids.
“Don’t read into it,” he says as if he has a hotline to my thoughts.
“It’s hard not to.”
“I love you, and you love me. That is all that counts.”
If only it were that simple, and I don’t remember telling him I loved him. “We can’t talk about this now. You need to leave so I can return to Stella.”
“Just promise me you’ll come see me tomorrow night. I don’t care how late it is. I can’t go another day without seeing you.”