Asshole.
He’s not the only one who works hard all week. Yet his weekends are for leisure. Drinks with the boys on Friday nights. Golf with his cronies at the club. Hikes and camping trips with the kids. I don’t begrudge him spending time with the kids, and he’s a far better father than husband, but it wouldn’t kill him to cook dinner sometime or to run me a bath or offer to come with me when I volunteer at the retirement home on Saturday afternoons.
He makes no effort with me anymore, and I’m sick of him using his affair and my understandable reaction as an excuse. I have stopped trying to organize date nights because there was always some excuse as to why he couldn’t attend. Now, the only times we socialize are when one of our friends hosts a dinner or there’s an event with work or at the golf club.
“What’s going on with you and Dad?” Stella asks, yanking me from my head.
I look around the dining room, noticing the boys have left and most all of the table is cleared.
“What do you mean?” I blurt, caught completely off guard.
“We’re not stupid, Mom. I saw the looks he was giving you, and you got a couple of sly digs in.”
I have tried not to let stuff show in front of the kids, but it’s reaching a point where neither of us are able to keep it trapped inside. We need to have this out, once and for all, and make some tough decisions. I don’t want our actions to mess up the kids or hurt them anymore than they will be. I don’t want to upset Stella now, but I’m not going to sugarcoat it either. I won’t disrespect my daughter by lying to her or pretending her observations are wrong. “There is some stuff your dad and I need to discuss. I’m sorry if you picked up on the tension at the dinner table. That wasn’t my intention.”
“Is he cheating again?” West asks, from behind, and I spin around. His eyes burn with anger as he clenches his fists at his sides.
“What?” Shock whips through me as the horrific truth registers—they know.
“We know about that slut who used to work for him,” Stella softly says, coming around the table. She slides her arms around me.
“How?” I ask.
“You know that dinner I went to at Hazel’s aunt’s house last week?” West says, and I nod. “She was there. The whore that used to be dad’s secretary. She’s going out with one of Hazel’s cousins now, but she enjoyed telling me how she used to work for my dad, and well…she said enough for me to know what happened.”
“Tell me exactly what she said.” I hold my head up, bracing for it. “I can handle it.”
Pain spreads across West’s face, and that cuts me to the bone. I never want my children to suffer for the sins of their father. I thought taking him back was the right thing to do. To protect them from the truth. But lately, all I’ve been doing is second-guessing myself.
“Tell her.” Stella eyeballs her brother.
A muscle pops in West’s jaw, and the skin on his knuckles blanches white he’s clenching his fists so hard. “She said I looked like him, and then she pressed herself up against me and said she wondered if I looked like him everywhere while—” His lips purse, and his jaw locks tight as he deliberately stops speaking.
“While she grabbed his dick through his jeans and tried to feel him up,” Stella hisses, her eyes spitting fire. “I want to cut the bitch.”
“Get in line.” I lean in and hug my daughter. “I love you.” I dot kisses into her dark hair.
“Love you too, Mom.” She squeezes her arms around me, and then West is there, hugging us both too.
Tears prick my eyes as I palm each of their faces while enveloped in their comforting embrace. “I love you both so much, and I’m sorry you had to find out like that.”
“Why didn’t you tell us?” West croaks, his eyes looking suspiciously glassy. “I knew something was up that time because Dad was gone for ages, and he’s never been away on business for so long.”
I kicked Curtis out when I discovered he’d been having an affair with his then twenty-three-year-old secretary, only letting him back after five weeks for the kids’ sakes. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth, but I wanted to protect you both. You were already at a sensitive age and going through so much. I didn’t want you to worry.” Swallowing my pride and my hurt, I say what needs to be said. “I don’t want either of you to hate your father for this. What happened is between us as husband and wife. He is still your father. What he did doesn’t change that.”
“Fuck that shit.” West removes his arms from around me and his sister. “He disrespected you, and I’m not cool with that.”
“How could he do that to you?” Stella is tough as nails, but she’s on the verge of tears.
“He’s a fucking idiot.” West cracks his knuckles. “I mean, look at you.” He waves his hands in my direction. “You’re fucking beautiful. All my friends have a hard-on for you, and they can’t believe you’re my mom ’cause you look so young. You’re always top of the MILF lists.”
I don’t know if I should be flattered or grossed-out.
“It’s way more than you being gorgeous,” Stella adds. “You’re smart and funny and just so freaking nice. You look after those smelly old perverts in the nursing home with a smile on your face. You’re the first to offer to help when any of our neighbors or friends are in trouble. You attend those boring meetings at the schools, and you always bake cupcakes and treats for bake sales when other parents just pretend the store-bought crap they supply is homemade. You don’t even get mad when I pull stupid shit, taking the time to explain to me why I should be more considerate of my actions. Hell, even your weird philosophy obsession is endearing.” She chokes over a sob. “It’s like Vander said. We’re lucky. Dad is lucky. What kind of a dumbass doesn’t see that?”
I grab my eldest kids into a big hug, clinging to them and fighting tears. “God, I love you.” I hold them tighter. “I can’t answer for your father. We need a family meeting to talk about this. Just the four of us. Ridge is too young.”
“I don’t want to talk to the asshole,” West says, ripping out of my arms. “There’s nothing he can say that’ll make this right.”
“Honey.” I take his hands, squeezing them. “Don’t do this for him. Do it for me.”
“Why, Mom?”
“Because this family means everything to me, and if I can forgive your father, then I’d like for you to try. I don’t want this to tear us apart. Maybe now you both know we can get it all out on the table and try to move past it.” I don’t know if that’s possible, but we’ve got to try.
First, I need to have a separate conversation with my husband, and it can no longer wait.
5
VANDER
I turn the faucet on too fast, uncaring when water splashes over my shirt as I angrily rinse plates before loading them in the dishwasher while West and Stella talk to their mom. I heard most of the conversation, skulking behind the door to the dining room, listening to Kendall make excuses for that pathetic piece of shit she’s married to. When I’d heard enough, I returned to the kitchen before I did something reckless—like bound up the stairs and ram my fists into Curtis’s smug face.