She turned a bright red with what seemed like shame, not anger. “I never meant to hurt you. I was trying to help.”
He hated how he felt. Suffocated by affection and unfamiliar feelings he couldn’t trust as his own. Wanting her to the exclusion of all sense. “Damn it. I want to trust you, but I can’t, and it hurts,” he said, his voice thick with uncertainty, that he didn’t know his own mind anymore. Afraid. A vryko, feeling fear. It was unheard of. “What the fuck are you doing to me?” he yelled, clutching his head, trying to look away but unable to resist her.
“You’re acting like this is all my fault. I didn’t mean any of it. But I can’t sleep with you to prove it, you big bastard.” She started crying, and he couldn’t tell if her tears were true or not. “I don’t want my first time to be coerced. That’s rapey.”
It was, and he had never in his life forced sex. It went against everything the vryko believed in to sexually assault one who could give birth to young, the act of conception a sacred one first born by Alecta.
Orion cringed deep inside while taking refuge in anger. “You’re right. It is! So get the fuck out. Go stay with Macy or your dad. Or hey, I know. Why not hang with Sabine so you can share stories of how you take advantage of ensorcelled males?”
Kaia stared at him, that blue in her eyes returning, so beautiful he felt ensnared and hated himself for it.
Waiting for her to just cast her spell and be done with it, he wasn’t prepared when she burst into tears and turned away from him, sobbing her heart out as she cried. “I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault. I’m sorry.”
CHAPTER
TWENTY-THREE
Kaia had lost it. She couldn’t stop crying, all of Orion’s blame settling firmly over her shoulders, where it belonged. She’d never meant to enslave him. And the fact she had showed she was just like her mother, a woman who did evil things to get power at the expense of everyone but herself, only proved he was right to distrust her.
“I’m sorry, Orion. Please, forgive me. Forgive me.” She continued to sob, wishing she’d been better, stronger like her father. Then maybe she could have cut the spell her mother had made without hurting Orion. Because she heard his pain. Hell, she could feel it, as if his confusion, longing, and self-loathing belonged to her.
Lost in her head, she jumped when he took her in his arms and hugged her. “Damn it, stop crying,” he said, his voice harsh, his hold gentle. “Okay, I was kidding. I don’t want you. I’m just hard up, that’s all. Any woman would do.”
Stop crying, Kaia. You’re killing me.
She imagined him cradling her with tenderness, and it was no fantasy. He held her in his arms and rocked her, his big body hard and strong, yet never harmful. Safe.
“I don’t want you, okay? I just want to stop craving you. It’s my fault. Not yours. I’m just mad at myself.” He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. “I’m going to take you home after Hecate says it’s okay. Just relax. No one’s taking any V-cards.” He sighed. “No coercion. No rapey vampire. It was all nonsense. Go back to sleep.”
He tried to move away, but she clamped her arms around his neck and held tight.
And the cover dropped between them, her bare breasts grazing his naked chest.
They both froze. He didn’t so much as breathe. Then again, he didn’t really need to.
But she could feel his heart racing, and she felt hers hurry to match his. Not consciously changing her body chemistry, yet she sensed it responding to the perfect male in her arms.
His mate. Her mate. They belonged together.
Then she realized she was picking up on his thoughts again. Images of him sliding inside her causing a fever to burn.
“Sorry,” he said in a voice so low she had to work to hear him. “I can’t help it.”
“Because I’m your mate,” she said. “I’m yours. And you’re mine. And no spell can make that happen.”
She took a chance to glance up into bloode-red eyes. “Orion?”
“Kaia,” he whispered. “I’m a killer. I hunt for pleasure. I’m not soft. I can’t be what you need.” But he wanted to with everything he was, and the waves of need in his bloode reached her without having to try.
“Orion, I—”
“I need to go.” He pulled away from her, standing on shaking legs. He snarled again, facing away from her, but he didn’t take a step.
Kaia stared, seeing the same vampire she’d fallen in love with. A little coarser, a little more violent. Okay a lot more violent. But the real essence of him remained the same. She didn’t know why it had taken her so much effort to see that truth.
“Orion, do you want me?”
“Fuck yeah, I want you,” he snapped and turned around. “What the hell do you think this is?” He pointed at his huge shaft, and like before, he seemed to grow. Not just his cock, but all of him. Bigger, broader, taller.
“No. I mean me.” She dared to look into his eyes. There she saw and felt it all, his hopes and needs, the loneliness he refused to admit to having, and that hint of fear that he’d never be worthy of a female like her. “Do you want a sometimes timid water nymph with a witch of a mother? A girl—a woman—who loves books and kittens and home shopping on TV?”
He quivered but didn’t look away from her eyes. “I’m not gentle. I’m a vampire. We’re cruel and we kill. I love blood. The color red. And maybe hot cocoa. But not with marshmallows.” He let a fang show when he gave a small grin.
“How about carrot cake?” She smiled, wiping away the rest of her tears.
“Never. It’s disgusting.”
“I’ll never drink blood.”
“I can handle that.”
“I, um, might be turning into something else.”
He frowned. “Like what?”
“My parents and sister think I’m Becoming. It’s like, a level-up for mages.”
He stared at her. “Am I supposed to care? Kaia, I want you. I can’t think for wanting you. So if you want me to go, it needs to be now. Right now.”
She stared at him, letting go of old hurts and old insecurities. She’d been waiting for the right man her whole life. So what if this one wasn’t a man at all, but a dangerous predator who looked at her as if he’d never look at another?
I won’t once I have you.
She heard what he didn’t say. “I’m new at this, so you’ll have to be patient with me.” She held out her arms, expecting him to pounce on her.
But he walked carefully, like a cat stalking prey. No sudden moves, and then he was sliding into his bed with her, rolling her under him as he pushed aside the covers.
“You sure?” he asked one final time. “Because once I start, I might not be able to stop.” He brushed her hair off her neck. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“But if I’m your mate, not because of a spell or magic, but because I’m truly yours, will that hurt you?”
“Making you cry already hurts. Not being with you pains me. Thinking you might be in trouble has me raging to protect you.” His voice grew lower, the rumble from a large predator. “I crave you. Your smile feeds me, makes my heart pump and my soul bright.”