“I'm so glad you know it because I didn't raise you to be a ball sack that will crumble at the slightest hint of difficulty, Bridge. I raised you to be open and to take care of people's feelings."
"And I do take care, particularly of yours and Darcy's. And now Emma’s."
"Emma is your wife. This whole closed-off thing you have with her won't work long-term. You're going to have to figure out how to let someone love you. You let your mates in. You let me in. You have to let Emma in."
"You gave birth to me, you don't count."
"You let Darcy in as well."
"She's my sister."
She rolled her eyes. "That means nothing."
I shrugged. "Darcy is Darcy. How can I not let her in? She's bloody poking all the time. Looking for a flaw in the system."
Mum grinned. “You look happy. Does Emma make you happy?"
It didn't take me even a second to formulate the answer in my head. "Yeah."
"Then really forgive her. You can't do what you always do and hold people at arm’s length. Even you aren't meant to be alone. It's going to eat you alive, and then she will, in fact, walk away. And I don't want to see you if she leaves. I know your whole thing is that you don't need anyone, but I think you do need Emma. I think she's exactly what you need to tamp down that driving desire for control. Your whole life, you’ve tried to control every situation so that you can protect your loved ones. Whether it's me, your sister, or your mates. And for once in your life, you have to protect yourself. You never ever think about protecting yourself. You never think about what you want, what you need, and I think Emma does that. She makes you feel selfish, but sometimes it's good to think about ourselves and what we want, what we need, and how we get there."
She was my mum. I knew she was perceptive. But seeing how well she saw through me was unnerving. " I'll work on it, Mum."
My mother snorted. It was the most indelicate sound. She also looked insanely young when she did it. " You do that. Just don't make the same mistakes you always do.”
“What mistakes?”
She sighed as if exhausted that I still didn't see it. “You have let your father control every aspect of your life since you were eleven years old. I know why you said you were going to go to his stupid fancy school. I know why you said you were going to join his stupid fancy secret society. All for selfish reasons. He's been trying to control you. Mold you into his image. All because he never had another son. But you are your own person, Bridge. You can decide for yourself. Stop letting him control you. So what if she met with your father? Maybe she did it for you."
I frowned at that. She had done that for me. And moving forward it was my responsibility to make sure she never had to deal with him again. "She needs to stay away from him."
“Don’t let him ruin your life, love."
"He’s certainly doing his best. He planted a woman in my life, Mum. Planted her there for three long years. Sometimes it's hard to see around that."
She shook her head at me. "You have to. Mina did a number on you. I recognize that. But Emma isn't her. Get your head out of your arse before you lose her."
I frowned at my mother. "Did you just tell me to get my head out of my arse?"
"Yes, yes I did."
"Don't you always tell me I have a big head?"
She nodded. "Yes, I do. But you know, on average, the arse can fit seven inches. And did you know that the average raccoon can squeeze into four-inch spaces? While your head is too big for your arse, you can fit two full-grown raccoons in there."
I coughed and sputtered. "What?"
She laughed. "See? I thought that would catch your attention. Pull your head out of your arse before you lose her."
And that was something I wasn’t going to allow.
Fourteen
Emma
Bridge was right.
I was never going to admit that out loud to his face, but he was right about this. Attempting to meet my mysterious note giver was dangerous. For all I knew it was Middleton trying to lure me out. Although, I didn't really understand why he would bother with these notes and clandestine phone calls unless he wanted to take out his partners.
Or maybe he had someone who would talk?
I frowned at that, trying to figure out how I could get these answers. I was still under tight watch. Alex was my watchdog while I was working in the building. If I went to client meetings I had a very close guard. A couple of times they'd acted as my assistants and taken notes. James had excellent penmanship. But I needed to get answers, and if I wanted to meet my mysterious note giver, or at least draw him out, I was going to need help.
I chewed my bottom lip, considering my options. I didn't want to create an even deeper chasm between me and my friends. I loved them all. And I had been reckless, and honestly, forced them to make some decisions that they might not have been ready for. But they were my friends. I sent an SOS to the girls' group chat as I watched the happenings outside the glass of Middleton Communications.
Everywhere I looked, people were bustling around or mumbling seriously on the phone with clients. I felt like I was deliberately being given a smaller client load. Sure, I was on the Weston Price thing, but that meant Middleton was breathing down my neck at every turn. Which was not conducive to getting anything done. I had a couple smaller complaint cases, but they didn't require too much time. My job was essentially corporate crisis prevention NDAs and the like, basically finding loopholes. I was good at finding loopholes.
It was so funny that I spent my days trying to close a new loophole, while I spent my nights trying to create as many as possible for myself.
Emma: I know this is risky, stupid even. But, I want to flush out the note sender.
Amelia: ...
Telly: Hell, yes. We've always said that we should have been looking for him in the first place.
Livy: Telly, when have you said this?
Ariel: Do you have any idea what time it is over here?
Penny: Ariel, like you're asleep. And I was just up with Cara. Nightmare. So I'm awake. Sure note giver. But don't go alone.
Nyla: This is a bad idea. Of course I'm in.
Telly: High five emoji
Amelia: ...
Livy: Aren't you already in a heap of trouble?
Telly: Don't be a party pooper, Liv.
Livy: Sigh. If you're going to insist on doing this, obviously I should probably plan it out.
Jessa: Can you at least wait until I’m in town?
Emma: I don't actually want you guys involved. It's dangerous. Your husbands would kill me. All of them. Though I'm probably most afraid of Prince Lucas.
Bryna: Hey, I'm helping on heists now. He'd be excited. Pissed off if we left him
out of it.
I sighed. God, this whole trial by group chat was annoying.
Emma: Guys, again no guys. And I'm just telling you and looking for ideas on how I could go about it. I don't actually want you involved.
Amelia: If you're serious, we can come up with something, but this is a shitty idea.
Nyla: Amelia's right. Shitty idea. But never say I don't like taking risks.
Amelia: Eye roll emoji