I hope that he knows what I am thinking without me actually having to say it. It would be foolish of him to give up his place that is very close to work since affordable apartments are very hard to find.
“You don't think that it is too soon?" I ask.
He shrugs his shoulders and tilts his head so that his hair falls into his eyes.
"We have been living together this whole summer, haven't we?”
“Yes, I guess we have,” I say with a smile.
My other hesitation has nothing to do with him; it's my parents. They don’t know that he’s staying with me here and they would definitely not be pleased if he were to officially move into my place near campus, which they are paying for.
“Do you really think it's not going to work out?” he asks.
“No, of course not. I'm just worried that you're going to get sick of the commute. Right now you are right across the street from your work, in the subsidized housing that they are providing for you. What about, just subletting your place out for the semester? That way you can test out the commute and see how everything goes.”
He takes my hand into his and leans over closer. "You know, you are assuming that I was asking to move in with you, instead of you moving in with me."
I feel my mouth drop open. Of course, that's exactly what I was thinking. He flicks my chin up to close my mouth.
“God, I know that my apartment is pretty shitty, but you could please do me a courtesy and pretend,” he says, laughing.
We officially move in together two weeks later.
Well, I guess not officially, since my parents don't know that Henry is now living in the apartment that they are paying for, but he sublets his place for the semester and starts commuting to work from mine.
My semester begins and I enjoy being back in the flow of things. It's hard to explain why I like school so much, but I just do.
I like learning new things. I like challenging myself. I like to read and graduate school is nothing if it’s not a lot of reading.
What's good about graduate school is that, unlike undergrad, I only take classes that I am interested in. Most of them require a lot of research and writing, and I like that, too.
This year, I will be mainly focusing on my thesis. I developed my PhD program from scratch, given that there was no PhD in popular fiction available at the department. But with a lot of hard work and cooperation from my professors, I was able to design and put together my own individualized research plan.
Romance and thrillers are the most popular genres and yet critics seem to pay very little attention to them. There is very little analysis and very little interpretation of what the popular genres say about our culture. This is what I am particularly interested in; how they influence culture and how they impact shifts in culture.
For example, the Me Too movement and talking about consent when it comes to sexual harassment and abuse has been a huge cultural shift in 2019. And immediately, these topics have started to appear in the books that have been independently published during the year by some very prolific and very popular self-published writers.
Most romances are written by women and consumed by women and because there are no barriers to what these authors put in their books, besides the market itself, many authors have been incorporating cultural shifts like the Me Too movement into their work. In fact, there are many instances where the Me Too movement is mentioned directly, something that has yet to happen in traditionally published books.
After starting school, I come home every day excited by all of the new things that I’m learning and that are making an impact on me as a researcher.
Henry, unfortunately, is not so lucky.
He is miserable in his job and all he wants to do is quit. Teaching is not his forte. He’s not particularly patient and he isn’t very interested in it at all.
“What do you want to do today?” I ask him while I make dinner on the stove.
Usually we order takeout, but this afternoon I was eager to make something from scratch. Of course, my enthusiasm wore off halfway through the meal, but at that point, I was already too invested.
Walking over to me, Henry flips me around and presses his body against mine. Running his hands up and down my hips, he looks at me with hunger in his eyes.
“No, no, no.” I force myself to pull away. “I can't do this now, I'm cooking.”
“Yes, I can see that,” he says, moving my hair off my neck and kissing me.
“What if we just turn down the burner? You can leave it as is and join me in the bedroom for a little bit,” he whispers.
When he runs his hand up my thigh, my legs open for him. I lose myself for a moment, quickly getting to that place where all I want is for him to be inside of me.
15
Aurora
“C’mon, we still have a few things to work out, don't we?” he asks, tugging on my hand and trying to pull me into the bedroom.
I shake my head, trying to resist him. But his kisses get more forceful and insistent and I can’t bring myself to say no.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I whisper, giggling. It’s a lie, of course.
“Oh, I think you do,” he mumbles through his kisses. I don’t want to admit it, but I know exactly what he's talking about.
I’ve told him that I can only orgasm on my own so he has made his mission this summer to change that. Every time, it doesn’t work out, he doesn’t give up and instead just tries harder.
And we are making progress. A few days ago, I got there just with his fingers and now he wants to try with him inside of me.
“You know, it's very common,” I say. “Not many women can orgasm while they are actually having sex. I've read about it online."
Henry pulls away from me for a second and looks at me.
“You know that I don't want you to feel bad about this in any way, right?”
I nod. He lifts up my chin and makes me look at him.
“I’m serious. I know that we’re playing this game but I only want to go on as long as you’re into it. If you don't want me to keep trying, that's fine. This is all about you. I just want to give you as much pleasure as possible.”
I swallow hard.
I've always thought that I've had this problem I would never be able to overcome. Yet there is a man who is standing before me who wants to help. I’ve never thought I would find someone who would try so hard and not get his feelings hurt when it didn’t work.
I take his head in my hand and press my lips to his.
I kiss him softly at first, but then more forcefully and passionately. Our clothes come off quickly and he leads me into the bedroom. Just when we get there, I remember that the burner is still on, and run back to turn it off. When I get back to the bedroom, I find him sitting completely naked on the bed, his arms draped over the pillows.
Henry flexes his stomach and instead of six protruding muscles I count eight. Shifting his weight, he pulls me onto the bed.
“You are going to come for me today,” he says.
“It sounds like a command, and I like it.”
“I'll try,” I say.
“No, you will.”
He brings my hands up to the top of the bed and holds both of them with his.