I keep trying to process what has happened, and it's all to no avail. Did they really ask me to do what I think they did?
Did they really ask me to consider marrying Franklin Parks?
Do they even know who he is?
Besides, what century are we living in that this is a realistic proposition?
Still, I know my parents well enough to know that they did not do this with an easy heart. They love me and care about me, even if it's not as much as I would want them to.
Deep in my heart, I know that they would never ask me to do this if they thought that they had another choice.
But why? Thoughts keep spinning around in my mind until I feel dizzy.
I had asked that question over and over again last night, but they couldn't give me an answer that was any better than that which they had already given me.
No, I need to go to the source.
I need to talk to Franklin.
My phone rings and it's Henry. I consider ignoring it and telling him that I'm busy, but another part of me can't bring myself to lie to him about one more thing.
No, it's better to talk to him now because he will probably be busy later.
“Hi,” I say, putting him on speaker phone. “How are you?”
He tells me about his day and about the investigation that he's working on.
I only half listen, waiting for my turn to speak.
“So, can you believe that that happened?” he asks excitedly.
“Wait, what?” I ask absentmindedly.
I had apparently spaced out for a little too long.
“Are you even listening to me?” Henry asks.
The irritation in his voice is difficult to ignore.
“Yes, of course,” I say. “It's just that, well, you know that I graduated yesterday?”
It comes out more like a question than a statement.
“Oh my God, yes, of course! I'm so sorry. I can't believe that I forgot. I mean, I didn’t forget but—”
“You didn’t even text me last night,” I point out, bitterly.
“I’m really sorry,” he says.
“It's okay. I know that you're busy.”
“Still, it's no excuse. I'm such an asshole,” he admits.
Yes, you are, I say silently to myself.
“Anyway, I went out to dinner with my parents and Taylor and it was nice enough,” I say with a shrug.
“Listen,” he says, cutting me short. “I’m sorry, but I really can't talk right now.”
“Weren't you the one that called me?” I ask.
“Yes, but I'm sorry. There’s someone on the other end and I really have to take this call.”
I shake my head in disbelief.
I wasn't going to tell him about Franklin, but I at least wanted to talk to him, have a real conversation for once.
“I'm tired of this,” I say quietly.
“Okay, give me a second,” he says and puts me on hold. When he comes back, he asks, “What do you mean you’re tired of this?”
“I just don't understand what we're doing here,” I admit. "We are so great together when we are actually together, but things have felt off for a long time. Do you agree?”
“Yeah, I guess so," Henry says distractedly.
“It's like we're not on the same page and we haven't been for a long time. What are we gonna do about it?”
“I don't know, Aurora. I just can't talk about this right now. I have a lot of things going on.”
“That's the problem!” I say loudly. “That's the whole fucking problem.”
I hang up the phone and throw it on the bed. This was not what I wanted to happen today and yet suddenly my life seems to be filled with things that I don't want.
A few moments later, Henry calls me back via FaceTime.
I glance at myself briefly in the mirror. I'm not wearing any makeup. My face is puffy and my hair is out of control.
I don't want to, but I answer anyway.
“What do you want?” I ask, fully expecting him to apologize.
“I think we need to talk,” he says.
"I thought that you didn't have time to talk,” I say.
“I don't, but I'll make time."
I don't know what to say so I just wait.
He looks down at the floor and then slowly back at me. He takes a deep breath.
“I agree with you,” he says quietly. "We have been drifting apart, for a while now.”
“I know,” I say.
“I keep thinking that it is going to get better but it's not happening. I was hoping that you would be interested in coming out here after graduation. I was going to ask you today, before we got into this ridiculously stupid fight.”
I take a deep breath and exhale slowly.
“And what am I gonna do there?” I ask. “Just sit around in the hotel room and wait for you like I do here?”
He shakes his head, uncertain as to how to answer.
I'm lost as well. I feel like we have reached an impasse. I want to spend more time with him but all of his time is consumed by his job, which I'm not even sure that he will have for much longer.
I want to tell him this and everything else that has happened, just like I used to when we were first together.
But something is holding me back. I don't know what's going on with my parents and I'm afraid of telling him too much.
I don't know what's going on with the justice department or the investigation or why they are so certain that Franklin is the only way that they can save their company. I’m afraid to tell Henry about any of it in case I can't protect them or him if it all goes to shit, even more than it has already.
Henry and I talk for a long time, going in circles for most of it. He keeps insisting that it's just one more project, but that’s the same thing I’ve heard for the last few months.
A big part of me feels ridiculous asking him to take time off work just to be with me, but another part of me thinks that I deserve a boyfriend who wants to spend time with me.
When I feel our conversation coming to an end, we are no closer to resolving what we have been talking about.
“So, what do you think?” he asks. “Will you come live with me here?”
“In Kentucky?" I ask.
“Yes, of course. Just for the time being. I mean, it's not like you're working right now.”
“Yeah, no, I can’t," I say.
“Why not?"
Because I have to figure out what is going on with my parents’ business and why they're asking me to marry your boss, I want to say. But of course, I don't.
“The thing is that Tate Media is having a few issues,” I say slowly.
“Okay. But what does that have to do with you? I thought that you had no interest in running it?”
“That doesn't mean that it doesn’t concern me. And it doesn't mean that I don't want to help my parents.”
“It's something that we're all going through," I say. “I thought that you would understand that.”
“No, I do understand that. I understand that I have waited for you to finish your PhD so that you could have some time off and actually spend it with me. But instead, you're going to stay in New York and do who knows what.”