Kiki and I waited for our photo strips to develop, and then I tucked them into my pocket.
When the DJ started playing “Daughters” by John Mayer, he encouraged the girls to grab their dads and head out to the dance floor.
I nudged Kiki. “We should go, too.”
She wrapped her hands around her arms and shook her head.
Damn. I had really hoped the night would go better than this. I thought once we got here, she’d feel better. I guess I was delusional in assuming I could hand her a flower and make everything better. But that Maisy girl really was an asshole—just like her father. And honestly, they were both just the way I used to be in school. It took one to know one.
While everyone else was dancing, Kiki and I watched from the sidelines. I needed to somehow save this night—either that, or give in and take her somewhere else. But I couldn’t just stand here and do nothing.
“I’ll be right back,” I told her as I left her momentarily.
I walked over to the DJ booth and explained the situation to the teenager in charge of the music tonight. I slipped him a fifty, asking that he pick a song that would be appropriate for Kiki and me to dance to.
After the Mayer song ended, everyone dispersed.
The DJ took to the mic and said, “This next one is a special request. I’d like to call Troy and Kiki out to the dance floor. This song is for anyone here who thinks it’s cool to bully someone just because they don’t have a dad. I’m one of those kids whose dad isn’t here, too. And let me just say…” He paused. “Well, I’ll let the song say it. Keep your head up, Kiki.”
Kiki’s eyes widened. Pointing my head in the direction of the dance floor, I somehow managed to get her to take my hand and follow me.
At first, the song was just a pleasant and light melody, fast but easy to dance to. I began to clap my hands, shake my hips, and stomp my feet in an attempt to get Kiki to dance with me. Instead, she was stoic, refusing to move as I danced around her.
Then the lyrics of the song came in.
“Fuck you.”
It was just those words, over and over again.
Kiki started to crack up, jumping up and down and getting into the music. She seemed to think this was the funniest thing ever.
Meanwhile, I froze and stopped dancing. Shit. What have I done?
I recognized the song now, the aptly named “Fuck You” by Lily Allen.
My eyes darted over to the teenager at the helm. I threw my hands up and mouthed, What the fuck is wrong with you?
He shrugged.
With each fuck you Lily belted out, Kiki laughed harder. It seemed she’d finally broken through her funk. So rather than demand he change the song, I let it roll. Whatever made her happy at this point.
I looked around to find the eyes of every guy and little girl in the room on me.
It might be time to go.
As the song wound down, I turned to Kiki. “Want to go grab a burger or something?”
“Yeah.” She smiled, looking genuinely at ease for the first time tonight.
We ran out of there like two bats out of hell. We’d left our mark on the dance, just not the way I’d envisioned.
• • •
Kiki and I ended up at Wonder Diner, one of the oldest and greatest institutions in all of Meadowbrook. I texted Aspyn to tell her where we were and said I’d fill her in on the rest later but assured her all was well.
“Everyone’s gonna be talking about that song next week,” Kiki said.
“I would never have chosen that song. I only asked him to pick something that would send a message to Maisy.”
“I’m not embarrassed. It was funny.”
“Inappropriate, but I guess it was funny, yeah. If anyone gives you shit, you tell me. I’ll go to your school on Monday and explain what happened.” Aspyn’s going to kill me.
“The look on Maisy’s face made it worth it,” Kiki said.
“No one has the right to bully you, Kiki.” My stance on this was pretty ironic, given my behavior in high school. “Actually, I have a secret.”
“Are you gay?”
I blinked. “No.”
“My friend’s brother told her the same thing, that he had a secret, and that’s what he said after.”
“No.” I chuckled. “What I wanted to tell you is that…I wasn’t the greatest kid when I was younger. I teased people and acted a lot like Maisy sometimes. When you’re older, you understand better how important it is to be kind. But like I said earlier, most of the time when people act like that, there’s a reason. In my case, I was an angry kid. Angry at my mom, mostly, for not being around. While some might have said I had a right to be angry, I didn’t have the right to take it out on other people. No one ever has that right.”
She took a sip of her milkshake. “I get angry too.”
“But you’re a good person. Even when that girl was being mean tonight, you held back from stooping to her level. That says a lot about you. Don’t ever change.”
Kiki took a bite of her burger. Her mouth was full when she asked, “When are you gonna stop coming around?”
I blinked. “What made you ask me that?”
“Because that’s what Holden did. He just went away. And he doesn’t call or anything. He disappeared.”
I didn’t respond right away, because I needed to be very careful not to make promises I wasn’t a hundred-percent sure I could keep.
“I know it can be hard when you get used to someone being around and then you don’t see them anymore,” I said.
“I don’t want to see my auntie cry again.”
My body stiffened. “He made her cry?”
She nodded.
“After he left, you mean? Or while he was there?”
“After he left. She was sad.” Kiki dipped her fry in some ketchup. “I was sad, too.”
That made me feel both anger and, oddly, jealousy. Not because I wanted to be the one who made her cry, but I now realized Aspyn had true feelings for that Holden guy, though she’d downplayed the breakup the one time she’d told me about him. If she’d cried when he left, there was a good chance she’d been in love with him.
Staring out at the neon lights from the diner sign, I felt a bit guilty for skirting the issue Kiki had brought up a second ago. When you choose to be a part of a child’s life because you’re involved with their caretaker, it’s not fair to disappear just because things didn’t work out with that relationship. That asshole Holden could’ve been an adult and at least made an effort to keep in touch with Kiki.
“No one who’s ever meant anything to you should completely disappear from your life, Kiki. Aspyn and I are having a really good time together. And I would love for that never to change. I care about her a lot. But I think your aunt was right when she mentioned that things between guys and girls can be complicated. I would never want to make a promise to you that I can’t keep. But what I can tell you is no matter what happens, you can always count on me if you need a friend. I’ll give you my number and email, if you ever want to talk.”
She licked some ketchup off the side of her mouth as she looked up at me in surprise. “Thanks.”
“In fact, let me give you my info right now, okay? That way you have it.”