Shit. I swallowed. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”
“You don’t have to feel sorry for me. I can see that look in your eyes again.” She mocked, “Poor little Aspyn stuck in Meadowbrook.”
My heart sank, regretting the stupid shit I’d said earlier. “That’s not what I was thinking at all. Not in the least.”
The sad look in her eyes hit me hard. I wanted to hug her, which was weird, considering how much I knew she disliked me.
Droplets of water dripped down her T-shirt as she blew out a breath. “Anyway…thank you for dropping this by. I really appreciate it.”
“Yeah.” I slipped my hands into my pockets. “No problem.”
I lingered for a few seconds until she grabbed the door handle. I took that as my cue to leave. Nodding my head, I made my way out the door, and she wasted no time closing it behind me.
Aspyn couldn’t get rid of me fast enough.
• • •
Because I’d had to drop off the wallet, I was ten minutes late meeting my buddy Eric for dinner at a local bar and grill. Eric had gone to high school with us, and this would be my third time hanging out with him since arriving back in Meadowbrook.
He was already seated in a booth when I got to Boone’s Pub, where the air always smelled like a mix of burned meat and alcohol.
Eric immediately looked down at my wet spot. “What the hell, man? Did you piss yourself?”
“No.” I took a seat across from him. “I got shot at with a Super Soaker. I didn’t have time to head home and change.”
“What the fuck?”
“Yeah…this little girl—long story. I’ll explain later.” I grabbed a menu. “Let’s just order. I’m starving.”
After we put in for our food, I asked him the question that had been weighing on me the entire ride over. “You ever take one look at someone or something from the past, and it just brings back all this shit you’ve tried to forget? Makes you realize all these feelings you thought were gone never really went away?”
Eric nodded. “That’s how I feel when I look at Stoli vodka. Reminds me of the time I puked all over Christy Hemingway in tenth grade.”
Aspyn was like my very own pile of vomit.
“You remember Aspyn Dumont from high school?”
He ripped apart a piece of bread. “Yeah, sure.”
“She works at the place my grandfather’s at.”
“Really? Wasn’t she psycho?” he asked as he reached for the butter.
His use of the word psycho jarred me a little, mainly because I knew he’d gotten that idea about her from me. That had been my usual nickname for her after the incidents in high school. But even if I’d thought she was a little psycho back then, I should’ve chosen the words I’d spoken aloud more carefully. I felt like shit right now.
“She had her moments, yeah. We pretty much hated each other, talked shit about each other. But a lot of it was my fault.”
While we continued waiting for our food, I caught Eric up on the situation with Aspyn and explained why she’d been assigned to chaperone the outings. I also reminded him of the reason behind some of the crap she pulled on me in high school.
I sipped my beer and stared down at the bottle. “Anyway, I don’t know why I’m even talking about her...”
“What does she look like now?” he asked.
The waitress came by with our food, and that gave me a minute before responding. I thought about Aspyn’s physical appearance. Her sand-colored hair was so long, almost down to her voluptuous ass. Without a drop of makeup, her skin was smooth and flawless. She was naturally beautiful, even more so somehow when she got mad at me. I’d been taken aback by the fact that I found myself very attracted to her, someone I used to have nothing but disdain for. That was a contradiction I hadn’t experienced before. Maybe somehow her hatred made her more appealing in a twisted way?
I downplayed it. “She’s not a knockout or anything, but she’s…pretty. Nice ass and tits. It was hard to see past the look of hatred on her face, though.”
“Well, sounds like you’re gonna have other opportunities to change her mind about you if you’re stuck with her twice a week.”
“Not sure I should bother trying to change her mind. She seems really hung up on the past.”
He chewed a sweet potato fry. “How long are you staying in Meadowbrook anyway?”
“For as long as my dad’s away. Probably a few more months max. He hasn’t bought his return ticket, because they’re sort of winging the whole trip.”
“What’s he doing again?”
“Touring Europe with his girlfriend.”
“Damn. Nice life.”
“Yeah, well, he earned it.” I opened the ketchup and poured some onto my plate. “I’m staying at the house, making sure everything’s kosher while he’s gone.”
My father had busted his ass raising me as a single father. We never took vacations, and he rarely did anything for himself. A couple of years ago, he met a woman he really connected with. It was the first real relationship I could ever remember him having. He turned fifty this year and became eligible to retire early from the fire department. So that’s what he did. He and Sheryl decided to tour Europe. He almost didn’t go, because he felt guilty about leaving my grandfather. We didn’t have any other family locally. But I assured him I’d handle everything. It was the least I could do for a man who’d devoted his entire life to raising me. And I wasn’t easy. Despite my dad’s best efforts, I’d acted out a lot as a kid. Even though my grades were good and I excelled at sports, I gave him a run for his money, constantly getting into fights and stirring up trouble. I owed him a lot.
That night, after I returned home from dinner with Eric, I kicked my feet up on the couch and decided to Google Aspyn Dumont. The first thing to come up in my search was her sister’s obituary from eight years ago. While it didn’t list a cause of death, it said she’d left behind a six-month-old daughter. That made my chest hurt. Ashlyn Dumont was only twenty-four when she died. Ashlyn and Aspyn. They must have been close. I was an only child, but I couldn’t imagine losing a sibling. My chest tightened. I felt guilty once again for taunting Aspyn about staying in Meadowbrook now that I knew she’d been helping to care for her niece. That wasn’t an easy life.
I couldn’t change how I’d treated Aspyn in high school or the nasty things I’d said about her behind her back. But I could at least try to show her I’d changed. The big question was: had I changed? Or was I still that same selfish asshole?
That question gave me pause, and I honestly didn’t know the answer. All I knew was that being back in Meadowbrook sure as hell made me feel like the bad guy again. I wanted to be a better person, and somehow, it mattered to me to show her I was. But why?
Aspyn felt like the personification of all my past mistakes, so maybe getting her to like me would absolve me of my sins.
• • •
On Thursday afternoon, when my second outing of the week with Nonno rolled around, Aspyn looked happy as always to see me when she met us in his room. Not.
“Are those donuts on your scrubs?” I asked.