“I’ll make this right—”
“You can’t. It’s not even an option. You’re just going to report to his LA office as planned and never tell him what happened between us, and we’re just going to move on as though nothing ever did.”
My hand returned to the bed. “That’s it?” My stomach flipped, threatening to empty. “That’s the end of us? You’re just going to cut things off like I never mattered?”
“That’s not fair.”
“Neither is this.” Tears were at the rims of my eyes, and my lips wouldn’t stop shaking. “I care about you, Jenner. So much so that I rented an apartment fifteen minutes from your house just so I could be close. I begged my father for a job when he wanted me to have a few years of experience under my belt. I had dreams of us being together—”
“And those died the moment I found out who you really are.” He stared at me like he didn’t recognize me. “I realize we never made a commitment to each other, but since your trip to LA, things have been different between us. I’ve been entertaining the ways we could make this work.” His voice lowered, turning even grittier when he said, “And now, that’s impossible.”
I didn’t stop the tears.
I let them drip.
I could only be strong up until a point, and his words had sent me far over that edge.
Still wearing my jacket, I held the sleeves to the bottom of my eyes, catching the makeup that wanted to run. “Jenner …” I wiped my mouth, my spit turning so thick. “I’m not the girl who follows a guy up to his hotel room minutes after meeting him. I’ve slept with three people my entire life, including you, and the other two were long-term relationships. But the way you’ve made me feel since Vegas”—I stopped to inhale, to search for a way to describe this feeling—“is nothing I’ve ever experienced before. I’m completely lost when it comes to you—lost in feelings, lost in sensations, lost in hopes, in wants and desires. I didn’t do this to hurt you or to hurt us. All I’ve wanted is for us to be together, and I thought moving to LA, like I am, would make that come true.”
My heart throbbed as he stared at me, saying nothing.
My confession wasn’t enough.
I needed to do more.
“I did this all wrong,” I continued. “I should have tried harder to confess the truth to you. I should have fought through it no matter how difficult it was. But, God, this can’t be the end of us …”
His silence ate at me.
I couldn’t handle another second of it.
“There has to be a way we can salvage—”
He nodded toward the door. “I think you should go.”
What?
He wanted me to … go?
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
Or the coldness I was seeing on his face.
How he had no desire to fix this, to work it out with my father, to find a way for us to be together.
I didn’t believe this was what he truly wanted.
“Jenner …”
He stood and moved back to the bar, refilling his glass. When he turned around, his expression was even harder than before. It was etched in ice. “This is irreparable, Jo. It doesn’t matter what you say … it’ll never work.”
A stillness moved through me that was worse than the silence.
This was pain.
An ache.
Like the darkness of a sky seconds before a storm.
I didn’t want to humiliate myself, begging if he saw no hope.
Clearly, I was the only person in this room who wanted a relationship, a future together.
My truth meant nothing.
I meant nothing to him.
I stood and grabbed my bag and moved over to the door, holding the knob. I felt his eyes on my back, and I turned around, facing him. Bile was rising from my stomach and going up my throat, the realization hitting me again as his stare turned even frostier.
“Good-bye, Jenner.”
I let the door shut behind me as I hurried into the elevator and reached into my purse. I’d left Miami without any luggage, knowing I wouldn’t be able to hide it from my father since I’d told him I was flying right home, so I weeded through the few things I’d thrown in here—my toothbrush, extra panties, my makeup—and found my phone.
I needed to get the hell out of Utah, to change my flight, to order a car that would take me to the airport.
But I could barely think, and I didn’t even know where to start.
I opened the app to get a car, scheduling one to pick me up outside. While I waited for it to arrive, I called Monica, and she answered after the second ring.
“Why on earth are you calling me? Shouldn’t you be in bed—”
“Mon …” My chin quivered, more tears spilling over my lids at the sound of my best friend’s voice. “We’re done. Over.” I found my sunglasses in my bag and threw them on over my face, trying to hide from the arriving guests. “He wants nothing to do with me.”
“What?”
I took a deep breath, staring at the mountains around me. “I have something I need to tell you …”
Not even Monica knew the truth.
The only person who did was Gloria. I’d confessed everything to her when I returned to her shop the day Dad had offered me the job. I needed advice, guidance, and she had given it to me.
But before I told my best girl, I’d needed to tell Jenner first.
And now that he knew, it was time to relive it all over again.
“Jenner is my father’s attorney,” I said into the phone. “I figured that out shortly after I met him in Vegas … before we slept together … and I didn’t tell him.”
“Wait a second. I need to process.” She paused. “So, you knew him this whole time?” She gasped. “And he just pieced it all together, didn’t he? Because he’s in Utah with your father and you showed up and—oh my God.”
I wiped the tears off my chin. “Yep.”
“Did it go as badly as I think it did?”
“Worse.”
“Babe …”
I swallowed the acid down my throat. “Don’t hate me, Mon. I know I should have told you. I know I should have told him. I fucked up. It’s all my fault.”
She said nothing for several seconds and then, “Are you on your way home?”
“Yes.”
“You need to get to me as fast as you can.”
I saw the car pull up, and I waved to the driver. “So you can kick my ass?”
“No, Jo. So I can hug you.”
Twenty-One
Jenner
“You’re fucking kidding me,” Dominick said from the other side of his desk. “Jo is Walter’s daughter?” His eyes went wide, his head shaking. “How the hell didn’t you figure that out?”
“Jo Cartwright is what’s listed on her Instagram. I assumed that was her last name. Turns out, it’s her middle name, and I’m the fucking moron who didn’t ask her.” I dropped my hands on the armrests, exhaling so loud. “If Walter finds out the things I’ve done to her …” My neck tilted back, I closed my eyes, imagining the scene that would go down if he got wind that I’d tied Jo to my fucking bed. “He’d hang me by the goddamn balls.”