He gives a curt nod, then turns around and leaves.
The world splinters to pieces around me as I fall to the floor and cry the hardest I ever did.
I don’t grieve us, not when we didn’t even exist.
I finally grieve myself.
I don’t know how long I remain on the floor then somehow end up on the bed, a mess of unstoppable tears, twisted fantasies, and impossible feelings. I might have fallen asleep at some point, I’m not sure.
But it’s long enough that a lone ray of sun slips through the curtains and a new day sneaks its way through the harsh, merciless night.
It doesn’t matter what happened during that night—whether it’s the shattering of hope or the scary reminder that I wasted my youth loving someone who would never love me.
Who would look anywhere but at me.
The need to pull myself off the floor and get out of his house prickles on my skin like a spring allergy but the will to actually do that is nonexistent.
Then I recall something, or more specifically someone.
Jay.
I spring up to a standing position and hobble to the bathroom so I can wash my face. I refuse to look at my reflection in the mirror. It’s no different than facing that ghostly part of me.
I retrieve my phone from the nightstand, contemplating if calling Uncle Henry this early is a good or a stupid idea after we exchanged numbers and I left my brother with him and Astrid.
The text that I find on the screen breathes some life into me.
Uncle Henry: Jayden is fast asleep after playing with Landon and Brandon all day. Astrid insisted on him staying the night. I’ll bring him over as soon as he wakes up.
At least one of us is accepted by Astrid.
Not that it matters now.
I need to pack my things and leave with Jay as soon as he’s back.
If I have to beg Aspen to take me in as a second assistant, so be it. Although I’d still work in the same building as Daniel, it’ll get easier with time.
Or so I like to fool my future self into believing.
It didn’t get easier the past eleven years, but I at least managed to numb the pain and focus on raising Jay. But now that I’ve gotten a glimpse of the other side of Daniel—the cold yet caring side—I don’t think it’ll be as easy to numb anything.
When I finish packing my and Jay’s bag, I resist the urge to cry. And it isn’t until I’ve gotten downstairs that I realize I might run into Daniel and cry for real.
Pathetic.
“Morning, Ms. Adler,” a gentle feminine voice calls. It’s Sophie, the maid. Upon seeing my face, a delicate frown appears between her brows. “Are you unwell?”
If having my heart broken repeatedly is unwell, then yeah, I must be suffering from the worst type of unwellness.
“I’m good, thank you.”
“Do you need anything? Perhaps some tea with your breakfast?”
If I didn’t hate Daniel so much, I’d be laughing about how he calls his staff tea monsters. To their faces, even.
“No, I’m good. I’m just waiting for my brother so that we can leave.”
“Leave?” Her frown deepens. “That’s not what the master said.”
I hate how my heart that’s been ripped to shreds by his bare hands attempts to gather whatever’s left of the pieces and beat for him.
Being with Daniel isn’t only an experience, but a bloody battle with more losses and casualties. And that’s all I’m suffering from right now.
Casualties.
“What did he say then?” I’m glad my voice sounds casual enough.
“That you’ll be staying here for a while.”
I’m…what? Does he really think I would stay at his house after all that’s happened? Or maybe he still thinks of me as his assistant that he can order around for his one-gram-of-sugar coffee.
“Well, tell him that I’m not staying.”
She winces. “He doesn’t exactly take our calls and whenever he does he’d say, “Wrong number,” and hang up.”
“Wait…he’s not here?”
“No, miss. He left early in the morning. I saw him coming out of your room.”
“You must be mistaken…”
“Of course not, miss. I saw him leaving the room when I was on my way to get my cup of tea with milk and he motioned at me to stay quiet, then he gathered all of us to tell us to serve you as if you’re him.”
My head is unable to wrap itself around all the information tossed my way. Why would he do that after all he said?
“He had a box in his hand, too. And it’s the only thing he took with him. I told him I would pack his bag, but he said there was no need.”
The box…?
I run upstairs to the room and sure enough, the box isn’t in the rubbish bin where I threw it. And neither is the necklace/key.
Did Daniel personally throw away the box?
A sense of panic floods the back of my throat and I start searching for it like a maniac. Please don’t tell me that box is gone.
Fresh tears spill from my eyes as I drop to my knees, searching underneath the console and the bed.
I’m supposed to be getting it together, but losing that box is no different than losing a part of me. I didn’t mean it about completely getting rid of it.
Just when I’m about to have an epic meltdown. I find a folded paper fallen by the side of the bed. My heart skips a beat as I slowly open it and find Daniel’s messy handwriting.
Nicole,
The mansion is yours. I told my English solicitor to transfer it to your name and signed the appropriate documentation.
I also asked Zach to give you an apprenticeship in one of our biggest hotels in London. You have a formidable talent and as much I hated sharing it, the world deserves to have the experience of eating your cooking.
Jayden’s education will also be taken care of.
Make London your home again as you always secretly wished.
You don’t have to worry about Christopher or the custody case anymore. The cunt got what was coming for him and won’t be bothering you going forward.
And neither will I.
I’m sorry you loved me.
Daniel
32
DANIEL
My fixation with Nicole started the day she nearly died in my arms.
She was the weirdest fucking little shit I’ve ever met, and that says something considering I used to think of her as an “I’m better than you and your grandma” kind of snob.
At school, she was prim and proper. Always smiling, always looking down her nose at the peasants who dared to be in her vicinity.
Always…far.
But that day, she was herself. A thief, a sneak, and someone who liked to hide.
That day was the first time I actually met her.
Strange, outspoken, and generous despite her weakness. She gave me her precious snow globe. I know because she sometimes brought it with her to school and stared at it when no one was looking as if it was a part of her.
But then she decided to give me that part of her.
She gave me the snow globe and the girl trapped inside it. That girl takes her shape in my head whenever I stare at that snow globe.
It’s a reminder of the little girl who smiled up at me with pure awe and adoration while she was slowly dying.