“I didn’t want you to be angry,” she says behind my finger. I drop it so she can talk again. I have more questions.
“Did your mother know all the things he did to you?” I ask, already knowing by the twist of nausea inside I have the answer.
“She said if I was good, he wouldn’t do it so much. That he’d leave me alone if I would just listen. But I tried that. I tried.” Her voice lowers. “I did everything he said. I stopped fighting so much. But he just kept doing it. He kept coming into my room. He kept doing all of it! He wouldn’t even let me live in a dorm because he wanted me close!” she shouts, smacking her fists into her hips.
I capture her wrists and hold them until the anger boiling beneath the surface calms. “What happened the night he brought you to the warehouse?” I ask, releasing her.
She brings her gaze to meet mine. The color has returned to her cheeks, life is vibrant in her eyes. “There were three men. Beardman, Bossman, and someone else. My father sold me to them. They promised me I’d get to go home once I made back the money. But that was only to get me to cooperate and go to the house. Once I was there, once I was locked up, the promises stopped.”
“Your father might know who the third man is.” I move to my feet and pull her to my chest, taking all her hurt and anger into myself. “We’ll find out.”
Her arms snake around my waist.
“He’s a bad man,” she says after several long moments of silence.
“Yes, he is.”
“Do I have to see him again?”
“You do.” I kiss her forehead. “But it will be the last time. I swear it.”
She hugs me tighter. “I know.”
The afternoon is for planning, but tonight, before I tuck her into bed beside me, she will be free of one more nightmare.
Seventeen
DOLLY
My house is the last property on the street, sitting higher up than the other houses on a hill. I used to think Daddy liked it that way because he could keep a close watch on me when I was out playing with my friends. He always knew where I was and that I was safe. But I was wrong—just like with so many other things. He liked it because he could look down on the rest of our neighbors.
They weren’t as good or skilled as he was. Daddy’s a doctor. Sometimes I think he confuses himself with God.
Sometimes I do too. They’ve both betrayed me.
“Almost there.” Ken turns off the truck headlights and accelerates up the incline.
It’s late. Porch lights have gone off for the night, and the houses are dark as we roll past them.
A lifetime ago, these homes were safe places. Play dates and study groups with my friends after school. Just like any other kid.
Then Daddy said I was too old for playdates. He said I’d be better off studying on my own.
“What if he doesn’t know anything?” I ask.
Ken raises his chin. “He knows.”
“I’m so sorry.” I know he doesn’t blame me, but I do. My father was no saint, and I should have heeded my own internal warnings. I shouldn’t have fallen for his sweet temper and saccharine smile. I should have questioned why Mom wasn’t with us. Why would she meet us at the restaurant?
It didn’t occur to me my father would sell me—would hand me over to monsters worse than him. And it should have.
Ken reaches over the center console and squeezes my hand. “I don’t want to hear you say that again. The only people to blame here are your mother and father.” He’s being bossy again, and it settles my nerves.
When I see him, will my insides quake like they did every time he came into my room with his camera in hand? Or will I be able to do what I need to?
Ken will be with me, I tell myself. He’ll keep me strong.
“There.” I point to the driveway. It’s hard to see at night without any lights, but Ken finds it easily and rolls the truck to a stop.
A light shines in the upstairs bedroom. My room.
I press my hand flat against my stomach as a sharp twist of nausea hits me. Why is my light on?
“Does your father have any weapons inside?” Ken pulls my attention. “Guns or anything like that?”
I swallow back the bile clawing its way up my throat.
“Uh…yeah.” I blink a few times, clearing my mind of the lingering fear. “In his office. He has a gun case. I wasn’t allowed in there, but I think he has a rifle, maybe a handgun. I’m not sure.” I’m failing Ken again.
He cups my chin, pulling my eyes to meet his. Harsh and dark, I lose myself in him for a moment. “We’ll find them. It’s late, your parents are probably asleep,”
“My bedroom light is on,” I whisper. Daddy can’t hear me, but I learned not to take chances.
Ken runs his thumb over my jaw. “If you want to stay here—”
“No. I can do this. I want to. He…he can’t own this part of me anymore.” I suck in a breath, hoping it will settle the nerves wreaking havoc on my body. It could all go wrong. I could end up right where I was.
Ken studies me for a long moment. Maybe he’s losing his confidence in me, seeing me for the weakling I am.
“He doesn’t own you anymore,” he says firmly, then kisses me hard, taking me off guard before I melt into him. “Follow me, do not leave my side. Understood, Dolly?”
I nod, my forehead bumping his. “I understand, Ken.”
He gives me a final peck on the cheek and pops his door open. I shuffle out my side and press the door closed, trying not to make any sound.
Following behind Ken, we get to the front door.
“There’s an alarm key,” I whisper. “It could have changed. Daddy changes it sometimes.”
Ken’s jaw tightens. “We’ll have to risk it. If the alarm goes off, we’ll just have to move faster.” He pulls out the little picks he bought from the hardware store and works the lock until the knob turns and the door springs open. We hurry inside, and I navigate to the keypad, punching in the last code I remember.
Incorrect.
My breath hitches. I only have two more tries before the company calls Daddy.
Maybe I typed it wrong. Slowing my movements, I try again.
Incorrect.
Fuck!
Ken’s quiet behind me. I don’t want to disappoint him. Think. Think. Think!
“One more try, Dolly,” he whispers in my ear. He’s already come up with a plan B if I fail, yet the pressure doesn’t ease in my chest.
I take a few breaths. If Daddy changed it…what…
Four digits. My finger hovers over the first number. No choice but to try. I press my guess in.
Alarm off.
My body sags with relief. My birth year. The old me would have seen it as a sign of his love for me. Now I know it’s just another way he uses me.
“Where’s his office?” Ken asks, grasping my hand. I lead him down the hall. We take quiet steps, pausing to listen for any noise upstairs. Nothing.
Once inside Daddy’s office, I let go of his hand and press myself against the wall. I don’t belong in here. The dark mahogany paneling on the walls signals his territory. His room. Not mine. He can come into mine, but I’m never to enter his.