She didn’t know what he did in the bathroom—maybe he was taking Viagra, or looking for a condom, or snorting coke. But by the time he got back, she was dressed, with a woebegone expression.
“Did I miss my chance?” he asked her with a smile. He had lots of opportunities for sex that he took full advantage of. He didn’t need one more. He was a good sport when she nodded. He didn’t get mad, as some men would have. He really was a good guy.
“I lied to you,” she said with tears still in her eyes. “I’m in love with Eric. We broke up, and I’ve been acting crazy ever since. It’s time to stop. I need to go,” she said as he stood naked in the room. He wasn’t embarrassed with her. He was at ease with who he was.
“I hope you get him back. He must be a big deal for you to do something like this.”
“He is. To me.”
“Well, good luck then. Call me if you change your mind. I’m always open to a little fun, and we’re old friends. Too bad you’re not coming to L.A. with Merriwether and Bob. I might have worn down your resolve to be faithful to the ex-boyfriend. That’s not like you, Allie.”
“No, it’s not. Scary, isn’t it?” she said with a grin, and escaped gracefully while she still wanted to. Quentin was a good-looking guy, and a hot bachelor in Hollywood. But she was in love with a twenty-six-year-old who suddenly meant more to her than her job did, or anyone else.
She took the elevator down to the lobby and a cab to Tribeca, then sat alone in her darkened apartment for the rest of the night. She wanted to call Eric, but she didn’t dare. What could she say to him? I’m sorry? You mean more to me than my fucking career and that scares me to death? That she didn’t care what Bob Benson thought of their relationship or even if he fired her? Eric was on his way to stardom now, and she had missed her chance. She was just glad that she hadn’t slept with Quentin. Sleeping with random men she didn’t care about didn’t fill the void anymore. She was in love with Eric. It was as simple as that. And it was too late to do anything about it.
The week after Bob’s party for the agency in Greenwich, Jane was swamped. Hailey had given notice. Bob was panicked. Jane had a stack of new manuscripts to read, and some producer from Hollywood was meeting with Bob, Merriwether, and Allie. Benjie had texted Jane several times and she just didn’t have time to see him. She tried to explain it to him by text, and he made it clear he was pissed. She finally texted him on Thursday night, and asked if he wanted to come over on Friday. She hadn’t seen him all week, and the weekend before he’d been hung over. She had rarely seen anyone so drunk at a party. But she was happy to spend Friday night with him. She realized that with Hailey leaving, her workload would be even heavier in the future.
Merriwether had told her they were trying to lure an agent away from ICM but he hadn’t decided yet. She promised they’d find someone really good to fill Hailey’s shoes. But change was in the air with Francine gone and Hailey leaving. She and Julia talked about it over lunch. Julia was worried about her job and hoped the new agent, whoever it was, would like her. For now, with the new promotion, Jane’s job was secure.
She was smiling when she opened the door for Benjie on Friday night. She was in a good mood and had stopped on the way home to buy flowers and the Thai food they both liked. She was wearing jeans and a soft white cashmere sweater with a low V-neck. Benjie looked cautious as he walked into the apartment. He’d been nervous about seeing her all week. He had no idea if anyone other than Hailey had seen what he and Allie did at the party, or if they had told Jane in the meantime. He wondered if that was why she had avoided him all week.
“Are you pissed at me?” he asked as soon as she closed the door. He couldn’t stand the suspense any longer.
“No, of course not. I told you all week, I was insanely busy. I had lots of manuscripts to read. That’s not an option now. It’s my job, with the new promotion I got. Hailey quit. Some producer is in town who’s a big deal, and he kept Allie and everyone else busy. They’re trying to find someone to head up the literary division, and Bob and Merriwether are leaving for L.A., something about the movie they’re packaging. It’s been nuts.” She poured them both wine and he drank half the glass immediately. He looked nervous.
“Why did Hailey quit?” He was worried about that too.
“She’s going to work for Phillip White. I told you, it was crazy all week.”
“I had a busy week too,” he said vaguely, but his job was never as hectic as hers at the agency, where there was always a lot going on.
“That was a fun party last week,” she said over dinner, and he stared at her suspiciously. “Okay, you got pretty drunk, but it was fun, wasn’t it?”
“What do you mean by that?” he asked her, and she stared at him.
“What do you mean by that?” she said. He was acting weird. “I just meant it was fun, even if you got blind drunk and passed out. I had a lot to drink too. Margaritas always go down too easily.”
“Did Hailey say something to you?”
“No. Why? Why would she? What about?”
“Or Allie?” He looked like he was about to choke on his dinner and stopped eating, and so did she.
“Do they know something I don’t?” she asked, totally baffled by the confusing conversation, and Benjie hung his head, stared at his plate, and then looked at her.
“I can’t lie to you, Jane. I did something stupid. I got so fucking drunk, I didn’t know what I was doing. I was out of my mind. I had sex with Allie in the hammock at the pool. She was even drunker than I was. I don’t know how it happened. I think she was on drugs or something. She said something about Xanax. Anyway, I fucked her. That’s all it was, a fuck. It didn’t mean anything. I wasn’t thinking straight. And neither was she.”
Jane was staring at him with her mouth open. “And you had sex with Hailey too?” She looked like she was going to faint. She could believe it of Allie, but not Hailey.
“No, she saw us, that’s all.”
“Who else saw you?” Jane said with red cheeks and narrowed eyes.
“I don’t know. I was too drunk to care if anyone was watching. It was hard to see, where the hammock was, and everyone else was pretty drunk too. Maybe no one saw us. But I didn’t want to lie to you. It was a stupid thing to do and I’m sorry.” He looked remorseful and Jane was livid.
“You had sex with someone from my agency, at a company party that I took you to, right out in front of everyone, where anyone could see you? I don’t care how drunk you were. That’s a shit thing to do. And Allie too. What are you, some kind of animal? If I take you to the office Christmas party, are you going to fuck one of my coworkers then too?”
“No. I told you I’m sorry. It was dumb.”
“It was not ‘dumb,’ it was disgusting. You have no respect for me, or yourself.” She stood up then and stared at him. “Get out of my apartment, and don’t ever call me again. You’re a jerk.”
“Jane, come on . . . I admitted it, I apologized. I didn’t want to lie to you.”
“You’re pathetic, and stupid on top of it.”
“I felt guilty all week.”