“Can I watch TV tonight?” Bentley asked her, fully aware that it was against the rules on a school night, but hoping she’d forget or let him do it. He was a handsome blond boy who looked like his father. He was all arms and legs and tall for his age, as was Arianna, who was tall and blonde too. Will looked more like her, with dark hair. He still seemed like a baby at six and loved to cuddle with her. He was always hungry for affection, and loved curling up with her to read a book or watch TV. She tried not to think about the manuscript she had brought home to read. One of her authors wanted her comments on it. She put it out of her mind as she got to work with Arianna on her homework, and as always, within half an hour, Arianna was in tears, and Hailey was close to it. The problems made no sense to her either, and the explanation in the workbook wasn’t clear to either of them. They eventually got them done. Bentley was asleep on the couch by then, since he couldn’t hang out in his room with Will feeling so sick. She had checked on Will after Felicity left, before starting on the homework, and contrary to Felicity’s report, Will did have a fever. Not an unusually high one, but enough to make him feel rotten. She gave him children’s Tylenol and he went back to sleep.
They got started on Arianna’s science report, but halfway through, Arianna couldn’t concentrate anymore. She was too tired. Hailey promised they’d finish it the next day.
“If you don’t come home late again,” Arianna growled at her. She was more critical of her mother than the boys were, but she needed her more for homework, and resented having babysitters instead of her mother. She was extremely adept at making her mother feel guilty.
“I come home as fast as I can,” Hailey said defensively.
“Except when some stupid writer calls you about his dumb book, and you’d rather talk to him than be at home with us.”
“That’s not true and you know it. I’d much rather be here with you, but I have to work” because your father didn’t bother to think about us and get life insurance in case something happened to him. But she never said those words or criticized him to her children.
She got Arianna to take a bath and let Bentley go to bed without one. He was deeply asleep by then, and she carried him to his bed, got him into his pajamas, and checked on Will again. He felt cooler, and she hoped it would be a short flu and not a long one, and that they wouldn’t all get it. Felicity had agreed to come in for the whole day the next day, but said she couldn’t the day after, so if Will wasn’t well by then, Hailey would have to find another sitter from her long list to be with him. If absolutely necessary, an elderly neighbor downstairs was willing to stay with them, but she couldn’t keep up with them, and Hailey only used her when she ran out of other options. It was a daily juggling act.
It was nearly ten o’clock when she finally sat down to read the manuscript. It was well written, as his work always was, but by then she was so tired that in half an hour she was sound asleep on the couch. She hadn’t had time to eat dinner and she fell asleep with the lights on and her clothes on, which was a common occurrence. Arianna’s words were still echoing in her head when she fell asleep . . . you’re never home with us . . . you come home late every night . . . you care more about your stupid writers than you do about us. Every one of those words was a dagger to her heart, and none of them were true. She hoped that Arianna didn’t really believe that, but she feared she did.
The next morning, she would have to get them all ready for school, feed them breakfast, decide if Will was still sick and if he needed a doctor. Then she had to get to the office on time, well dressed and looking civilized, and explain to the writer why she hadn’t finished reading his manuscript yet. For eight hours or more in her office, she had to pretend to herself and everyone around her that her mind was clear, her heart was light, her job was all-important to her and the only thing that mattered, and that she didn’t have three kids at home, one throwing up with a fever, and the others waiting to do homework with her. She was leading a double life and had for the past five years. There was no end in sight until her kids grew up, which was light-years away. Some days, most days, she wondered how she would survive it.
Allie Moore’s life was at the opposite extreme of Hailey’s. Allie couldn’t even have imagined a life like Hailey’s, with three children she was responsible for, and not a spare moment for herself to read a magazine or get a massage. Hailey ricocheted between the office and home every day, meeting other people’s needs and never her own.
Allie only had herself to think of, and rarely wasted time thinking of anyone else. She spent most of her time considering her looks and how much fun she could have. She loved working with young actors, celebrating their victories with them or consoling them in their losses when they didn’t get a part. She loved helping them build their careers, and doing all she could to give them a boost up to the top.
She made their careers fun, and she loved sharing the excitement with them. Because what was life if you didn’t have a good time? And she had constant ongoing affairs with the flavor of the month. If you added sex to the mix, then what could be more perfect? Most of the young actors she represented didn’t need to be convinced, and they fell easily for her charms. Who wouldn’t? She was young, exciting, powerful, had a flawless body, and looked years younger than she was. It was fun for her.
Sometimes she’d just sit back and look at the photographs of the young actors she represented and pick one she hadn’t tried yet. It was like shopping online, not even online dating, because most of the time the men were so in awe of her and what she could do for them that she got to make all the decisions.
She never made promises she couldn’t keep. In fact, she made none at all. She wasn’t trading sex for jobs. They got the parts or they didn’t. All she did was invite them out to play, and if they wound up in her bed in the end, what harm was there in that? They were consenting adults.
She had come across a photo of Eric Clay that afternoon while going through their files. He was waiting to hear about a lead part in a new TV series, and expected word from the producers any minute. He had auditioned for it and had a good shot at getting the part. He’d been waiting to hear back from them for a month, and was seriously worried about it. She called him that afternoon between meetings, to ask how he was.
“No news yet,” he said glumly. “I think it means I didn’t get the part. You know how they are. You audition, they tell you that you were fantastic, and then you never hear from them again.”
“Not at your stage, Eric,” she said in a soothing tone. “I know the producers. We’ve done a lot of work with them before. They’re great guys, and have an eye for talent, but they’re flakes. They can never make up their minds, and then suddenly the project gets greenlighted, and it takes off at jet speed. Not hearing from them for a month doesn’t mean a thing. And I saw your audition tape, it was fabulous.” Eric was twenty-six years old, a well-trained, very talented young actor. He could play anything from comedy to Shakespeare, and was one of the best-looking men she’d ever seen. He got a lot of work and had been in a series before for a short time. Women fawned over him, and on top of it he was bright and a nice guy. They’d have to be crazy to turn him down for the part, and they weren’t. “What are you doing tonight? Can I take you out and cheer you up?”