That’s why she had to go.
Because if she stayed, I would have chosen her. I would have chosen to keep her. And then what would I do when I remembered she’s not someone I can keep for myself?
17
Staring into my closet, I have no idea what to wear tonight. Bridget said casual, but it’s also a Saturday night dinner party. Where I wasn’t looking forward to this before, I am now. Especially after this past week.
Stella came and cooked apple cobbler with me on Wednesday, but other than when Landon came to pick her up, I haven’t seen him. I’ve kept my window shut. Curtains drawn. It’s been weeks since our night in the hotel. Nearly a week since he’s kissed me, and I can still feel his lips on mine. His touch on my skin.
And until that goes away, I’m resigned to keeping my distance.
He can be brutally harsh in an almost excusable way. Maybe it’s his tone. Or demeanor. Or his honesty. Whatever it is, I found myself forgiving him even before I knew his excuses. Lord knows I have baggage, but that man invented the term. He doesn’t want anything to happen between us and neither do I. He doesn’t want complicated, and that shit is my new kryptonite.
So how do I stop thinking about him?
I decide on a red silk blouse with gold faux buttons up the back, a black miniskirt, sheer stockings, and above the knee black suede boots with a pointed toe, insane heel, and red soles. Every time I wear these boots, I feel alive, beautiful, and sexy, and that’s exactly how I want to feel tonight. Even if it’s just a simple dinner party at my friend’s house.
I blow out my hair, giving a softness to my natural waves, and then apply a touch of shimmer to my eyes along with black liquid eyeliner and red lipstick.
Bridget’s husband isn’t set to pick me up for another twenty minutes or so, and just as I’m sitting down to go over a few quick lesson plan changes I’m making to the sex ed class, my phone rings. David. I owe him nothing, and yet he keeps calling. Why? I don’t understand it.
I haven’t picked up since the last time I spoke with him, and yet he persists.
The call dies only for him to immediately ring again, and I’m so very done with this game.
“Why do you keep calling me?” I snap as I answer.
“Why do you keep picking up?”
I sigh. “I don’t. This is getting out of hand, David.”
“You haven’t blocked me yet. That tells me you like it when I call.”
“Thanks for the pro tip. I’ll be sure to block you. Bye now.”
“Don’t hang up,” he yells frantically into the phone. “This is important, Elle.”
I roll my eyes, getting out of the chair at my desk in my office, which is really just an unused bedroom, and walking back across the upstairs hall toward my bedroom. “You always say that and it’s always the same thing.”
“No. This time is different.”
I scoff incredulously into the phone. Of course he thinks it is. With a bounce, I fall back onto my bed, my heeled feet on the floor. “Tell me now because after this, I’m blocking you.”
“I wish you wouldn’t. I wish you’d give me a second chance.”
I can’t do that. I gave him a hundred second chances. A thousand.
“Spit it out, David.”
He sighs. “I’m only telling you this because I love you. Please remember that. I love you. I’ve always loved you. From the second I saw you in that crowded bar serving drinks, I knew it was you. You hear me, Elle? It’s you. So when what I have to tell you hurts even more than I’ve already hurt you, please know that was not my intention and hold on to everything I just said.”
My hand covers my heart, my breath trapped somewhere it can’t escape. “Okay.” It’s a fractured whisper.
“Your parents have been threatening me. Now they’re threatening to bring you into this if I don’t comply with their demands.”
“Which are?”
“Money. They want back the money I took from them.”
“Why were you paying them in the first place?”
He’s silent for the longest of moments. Then, when I don’t think I can take any more, he says, “I’ve already lost you, haven’t I? There’s no way I can ever win you back?”
“No.” A tear escapes, but that’s the only one I’ll let go.
“I cheated on you about six months after we were married.”
My eyes close, and my body trembles, but it doesn’t kill me the way I thought hearing something like that would. I had wondered for the last two years of our marriage if he had a woman on the side. If that’s why he treated me so poorly.
“It was a one-time thing,” he continues amidst my silence. “It never happened again after. I swear it to you. It was at the charity tournament in Palm Springs. The one you didn’t come with me on because you were home with the flu. I flew out there alone, played the tournament, and then had a bit too much to drink after. I went back to my hotel room, and someone was already there waiting for me. A woman who I thought was you.”
“What?” I gasp the word.
“It was Cat, Elle. She looked different than she did at our wedding. She looked just like you. Her hair was done exactly like yours, not short and platinum blond like it was at our wedding. I swear, my head was spinning so fast, and truly I thought it was you. I thought you had flown out to surprise me. She was wearing nothing but a bra and a thong, and she started kissing me. Touching me. Getting me naked.”
“David…”
“I didn’t realize it was her until… Fuck, Elle, I was so messed up. I was… behind her and I saw her rose tattoo and realized it wasn’t you.”
“You had sex with my sister?”
I think I’m going to be sick. My sister? Why would she do that to me?
“Did you stop when you realized?”
He’s silent, and that silence tells me everything I ever need to know. And if I thought my heart couldn’t break again, I was so very wrong.
“Your parents caught us right after I realized it was Cat. They were there too, though they never mentioned a thing to either of us that they were coming. It was a setup from the start. It had to be. I even suspected they drugged me, but I have no proof of that as I never went and got a test. Anyway, the three of them threatened to tell you if I didn’t pay them.”
A hiccupped laugh flees my chest, my eyes closed, and I can’t move.
I hardly know what to say. My sister fucked my husband—very likely after drugging him first—in a hotel room. My parents were in on this. They blackmailed my husband after catching him cheating on me. I knew they were horrible people. All of them.
But I never… I never would have imagined…
God, everything inside me hurts.
I swallow down my tears and ask, “They blackmailed you for that long?”
“Yes. I knew you’d leave me if you ever found out, so I paid them. Three hundred grand a year, Elle. Half to your sister and half to your parents. And slowly, their demands grew along with their threats. I became resentful. Angry beyond all measure. I blamed you for what I did, and I blamed you for what they were doing to me. I know I treated you poorly. I know I said and did things that hurt you. Hell, I did them to hurt you.” A heavy sigh. “I’m so sorry, Elle. I ruined the best thing that ever happened to me.”