“The asshole I know wouldn’t have tried to harm me,” I admonished with a frown before smoothing my expression into something stoic.
“That’s not entirely true.” He laughed. “It isn’t the first time I’ve stabbed you, woman. You and I both know that if I didn’t have some control, you wouldn’t be standing here right now. Tell me I’m wrong.” He planted his palms on the glass, displaying the coiled muscles of his abdomen, which plunged into a provocative V and drew attention to his low-slung gray sweatpants.
“Is that supposed to change what happened? Am I supposed to free you because you have some control, Zahruk? Kahleena is dead, and the prick who murdered her can reach us through you or anyone else infected by the toxin.” I folded my arms over my breasts and dropped my head forward, hiding the grief that ripped through me.
“Your daughter isn’t dead, Synthia. Not yet, at least. If she was gone, you’d feel it deeper than you do right now.” Zahruk sounded so adamant that I lifted my eyes to his, searching for deception or insincerity. I found none. “Let me go, and I will find her. I may be contaminated, but she’s my niece. Family means more to me than the itch of that prick’s influence, and nothing is going to change that. I’m still the bastard who stabbed you to defend my brother.”
“You stabbed me less than a week ago!” I yelled with bitterness dripping from my tone. I desperately wanted to believe his assurances and trust that it was Zahruk speaking, but I couldn’t. “Do you honestly expect me to trust anything you say now? You’re not in control of your mind, or you wouldn’t have hurt me, Zahruk.”
His eyes tightened, and a flicker of loathing lit up in his intensely blue stare.
“I did, but I didn’t let him fucking hurt you as he craved for you to be, did I? He wanted me to aim for your heart. Instead, it pierced your shoulder, and you healed within hours, right?” When I just narrowed my eyes at him, he sighed. “I understand your hesitation. I do. But I feel the order to go to him, and he and Kahleena are in the same fucking location. Let me go protect her. Let me the fuck out to go protect your daughter.”
“Compelling argument, brother,” Ryder rumbled from the shadows. He slowly moved from them, leveling his anguish-filled expression at Zahruk. “You’re correct, and while we know that you retain some control, it only matters that you don’t have complete control. The cage isn’t solely for our safety. It’s protecting you and keeping you safe from whatever they plan to use you for as well.”
“I don’t fucking care what they do to me. I’ve never cared about myself,” Zahruk stated without hesitation. “I’m telling you now, Kahleena is alive, but she won’t be for long if you don’t release me. I’m lost to you, but I can do this before I’m gone, brother. You know me better than anyone else. When have I ever fucking missed a target? Never, and you know that. Tell me I’m wrong. That asshole wanted your pretty wife dead and buried. Is she? No, she isn’t.”
“It changes nothing. I won’t lose you to them. We will fix this and get you back.”
“No, you won’t! Don’t you fucking get it? I am infected, and my need is insatiable. My cock is so fucking hard it aches and throbs until I’m forced to feed for their pleasure. I am poisoned with their taint, and influence. I still have control of my mind, but for how long? I’d rather die with a shred of myself intact than live a single day as the monster they’re turning me into.”
Ryder was perfectly still, as if frozen in place with emotion churning in his visage. I felt the conflict brewing in his soul and the hope Zahruk’s words ignited there.
I wanted to cling on to the lies he spoke too. The thing was, we knew hope was dangerous, and more often than not, false. It made you believe lies, and it exposed your weakness to those who sought to break you. It was better to live in the stark pain of reality. At least then you knew to expect the blow that cut deeply and left you bleeding and broken.
“No,” Ryder said after he’d gained control of the emotions. “I won’t open this cage knowing it will be the last time I ever see you, Zahruk. You don’t get to give up. We’ve come too far and have overcome too much together to admit defeat. I will figure this out and undo it.”
“You can’t stop what is within me,” Zahruk warned with something churning in his jeweled colored depths.
“Zahruk,” Ryder hissed unevenly. He pressed his forehead to the glass while Zahruk did the same. “I refuse to lose you, as well. If Kahleena is alive, we’ll find a way to save her that doesn’t come at the cost of your life. We will find a way to reverse this and save you, too.” His palms pressed against the thick glass. Ryder’s body trembled with the promise he made to his brother.
Zahruk issued a choked sound before he slammed his palms against the glass. The runes ignited, covering the barrier with a warning glow, which had Zahruk backing away.
“You can’t save me, brother. No one can. I’m becoming a monster, and we all know and see the truth. Look at Alden, who can’t even form a coherent word any longer. How long before you admit he has to be put down? How fucking long before you take him out of that cage and end his suffering? And I assure you that he is suffering.” He aimed a pointed look at me before turning back to Ryder.
“No one is being put down,” I argued. “You and Alden are family, and no one is putting anyone down.”
“Look at him!” he snarled, which sent Alden into a frenzied state. Alden’s humming turned maddening, and he pounded on the glass while his hips thrust in a rapid tempo. His teeth turned into sharpened, needlelike rows of razor-sharp fangs. “Do you think he’d want that?” he demanded. “He has no control, which means he’s nothing but a fucking passenger to the horror show he’s become. Can you leave him like that, knowing he’s trapped in his mind? He’s completely helpless against the sadistic prick using him to fuel his people and those who joined together with them to destroy your power. Alden would slit his own fucking throat if he had any control over his mind.”
“It doesn’t fucking matter, Zahruk. I won’t do this, and this discussion is over,” Ryder snapped with a tremor in his words.
“You’d let me become a monster like him? You of all people know what it is like to be driven by another. Imagine if your beast hadn’t been willing to meld and, instead, had taken total control of you? That’s what will happen to me eventually. Once the alterations are complete, I won’t be any better than he is. I’ll be the monster they want me to be, and you’ll either be forced to put me down or bury me so fucking deeply that I won’t ever be able to escape. The sad part is that there’s no place you could put me where they wouldn’t be able to find me and unleash the atrocity they created on the world. So, you need to make a choice right now—let me go to find Kahleena and bring her back to you or kill me.”
He looked to me, silently demanding I make the choice to let him free, and I shook my head. “Even if I thought letting you out was a good idea, which I don’t, there’s no proof she’s still alive.”
“You met Arius, Syn. Did he seem like the type to kill her without getting what he wants first? If he’d gotten what he wanted, he would be here already, and he’s not. That tells us everything we need to know.”