“I’m saying this is a couple of weeks where we get to enjoy each other again,” Deke murmured. “In a new way. I’ll be your top and you’ll get to know one person in the world has your back completely. If you can trust me.”
“I trust you. I wouldn’t have flown halfway across the country if I didn’t. I trust you even though we haven’t seen each other in years.” She let her head drift back to rest on his broad shoulder. “I’m sorry for how I reacted today. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I don’t deal with stress well.”
“One of the clauses in our contract talks about comfort,” Deke pointed out. “I remember well how stressed you can get. Your brain rarely shuts down. Will you give me permission to try an experiment? You can stop me at any time.”
“Are you going to touch me?”
“Yes. I’m going to slip my hand under your panties and then I’m going to find your little clit and I’m going to rub it and tease it until you forget to think about everything that went wrong today.”
She couldn’t even hear the alarm bells anymore. If they were going off, it was such a distant thing that it no longer mattered. She wasn’t sure how she’d gone from arguing with the man two minutes before, to feeling guilty about the way she’d treated him, to her whole body going soft and willing from his words. “That would probably make me stop thinking about how scared I am.”
“I need you to spread your legs for me.”
He’d asked to do this very thing at the club and she’d struggled with it, but now she simply did as he commanded.
“Very good.” His hand ran up her inner thigh, brushing against her pussy. “We talked about some of the philosophy behind Dominance and submission when it comes to sex, but I don’t think I plainly put why I enjoy it.”
“I would think it’s the orgasms.”
He nipped her ear, a sharp shock that made her squirm. “No sarcasm right now, brat, or we’ll move to punishment instead of reward. Do you want to try a spanking this evening or would you like me to fulfill part of my contract with you?”
His hand was so close. She wasn’t about to tell him that even the tiny bite he’d given her had done something for her. She would bet a lot that he already knew exactly how she would react. Like he’d known just how to tug on her hair to light up her senses. “The contract thing. Definitely.”
His fingers slipped under the waistband of the silky lingerie she wore. She was fairly certain her granny panties had been tossed in the trash, but she’d been left with a box of gorgeous undies she likely would never have bought for herself.
“One of the reasons the subs I know enjoy a night in the club with a Dom is that they get permission to let go,” Deke explained. “Of course you don’t need permission, but some of the submissives find it hard to enjoy themselves on a physical level because they can’t shut their brains down. They worry. They overthink. Does that sound like someone we know?”
“Yes.”
Another nip. “What do you call me?”
They’d talked about this during the sessions this afternoon and she’d called him Deke all night. Now that she was sitting here with him, she could see that she hadn’t truly opened herself to the experience. He was giving her a way to connect to him safely. In these moments, he wasn’t Deke and she wasn’t Madeline. Not wholly. Like Serena had said. They could be different versions of themselves. “Sir. I call you Sir.”
“And I call you… What do you want me to call you?”
She was supposed to pick a pet name, a way to put some distance between her different selves. When he called her by this name, she could let go of her daily cares and concentrate on serving Sir.
When she’d read about subs doing this, she’d scoffed a bit, but now she understood. This wasn’t about the Dom having a servant. It was about two people choosing to fulfill each other’s needs.
“I like it when you call me baby.” What she didn’t tell him was that she never let another man call her that. She’d told herself it was because that had been his nickname for her and he’d left her. But what if it was because she didn’t want to be anyone else’s baby?
“Baby. You know it’s easy for me to call you that. You’re Sir’s submissive right now, his baby. Sir wants you relaxed. Sir wants you to be able to sleep tonight so we can work tomorrow. All you have to do is follow Sir’s orders. You don’t have to think about anything else. I want you to let go. There shouldn’t be a thought in your head. Just feel.”
She wasn’t sure she could manage the whole not thinking thing, but she could concentrate on him. This was what she’d needed for a long time—a safe place to simply be for a moment. Her days had become long and arduous, with nothing to truly break them up. She loved her work, but she needed this, too.
The arm around her waist shifted up and he cupped her breast. She bit her bottom lip to keep from begging him for more. For all she’d been worried about being naked before, she hated the blouse and bra between them now. Her nipple was hard, and she wanted to feel his palm against it.
“Sink into that place where nothing matters but the sound of my voice, the feel of my hands on you. I’ll do it, too. I’ll find this space in my head where I don’t worry or feel self-conscious because I know the only thing that matters is giving you what you need. We can spend hours here.” His finger slipped over her clitoris, a feathery brush that made her legs shift again, offering him more and more. “Do you understand, baby?”
“Yes.” She’d understood it in an academic fashion, but this was something more visceral. This was real, and she could feel herself relaxing in a way she hadn’t for years.
Not since Deke used to take her someplace private when she got all wound up. She would fill with anxiety and worry, and he would lay her out and eat her pussy until she couldn’t see straight and then the world didn’t seem too much to handle. Then she felt more confident, better able to think her way through the swamp her brain could be at times.
He was right. They’d been practicing a form of this long before they knew what to call it.
He nipped her ear again. “Yes?”
“Yes, Sir.” He seemed to be a very bossy Sir when it came to this. He would want her to practice and to be perfect when it came to how they played.
“Better.” He licked the shell of her ear, a shiver of pleasure running through her. “You’ll find I can be a very generous Sir when you’re a good girl. Of course when you’re a bad girl, I’ll have to lay you over my lap.”
She’d watched several subs being spanked this evening. She’d wondered what it would feel like to be over Deke’s lap. “What will you do to me?”
A big finger settled over her clit and started to rub, gently at first, and stronger with each rhythmic pass. “See, that’s a question I like. What will I do to my wayward sub? First I’ll stare at your naked ass because you won’t be wearing a stitch of clothes when I punish you. You’ll be naked, and I’ll have access to every inch of your gorgeous skin. I’ll make you hold on to my ankles while I prepare your ass for the discipline to come.”