“Talk to me, baby.” His hand twisted in her hair in a way that sent lightning through her system and made her go up on her toes. “I want to know how much you exposed yourself today.”
“I didn’t at all.” Despite being annoyed with the question and his lack of faith in her intelligence, her nipples went hard. “I just talked to some people. I asked a couple of questions. Some of the people who don’t work in audio were either involved with someone who was and they were in the lab at some point or security who works on the floor, and there were two people from janitorial who remember cleaning in the lab before they got sick.”
“You went to human resources. Did you carefully hack into their systems so no one could possibly know you were there? I’m going to assume you were looking for records of employees using sick days.”
“No, I’m the head of the department. I can just ask to see the records,” she explained.
“Do you routinely ask to see records like that?” Deke asked the question like he already knew the answer.
“No. I don’t have a reason to.” It was the kind of thing she would delegate. Now that she thought about it, they had seemed surprised she’d come down herself and not had her assistant send an email requesting the records.
“So it’s an odd thing for you to request?”
Put like that it did seem like she could have used more discretion. “Maybe, but human resources isn’t supposed to talk about things like that. They won’t mention my request. Don’t they have an oath or something?”
“Naïve.” He stepped back, his hands going to lean hips. “Shall we use your desk or the sofa?”
“For what?” She wasn’t sure if she felt relieved or disappointed that he wasn’t close anymore.
“I explained when we started this project that there were two places you had to obey me,” Deke began. “In the bedroom and in the field. You were in the field today and you disobeyed me.”
“How did I disobey you?” He was making her feel like a naughty teenager. Of course all the trouble she’d gotten into as a teenager had been about him. Her dad certainly hadn’t punished her the way Deke might.
“By placing yourself in danger,” he explained. “You weren’t supposed to investigate on your own. You opened yourself up today. What you did could place the entire investigation at risk. What if Byrne hears you’re asking about the audio team in a way that raises his suspicions? You’re already on his radar.”
“You can’t know that.”
His eyes narrowed. “Baby, explain your stock options to me.”
Where was he going with this? “How the hell do you know about my options?”
“Because Byrne made a point to tell me. Outside of Byrne and his board of directors, who has the most to gain by this launch going well?”
“Everyone.” The whole company would benefit from it. Not everyone had options, but the company making more money would be good for the employees. Wouldn’t it?
“Who has the most stock options?” Deke asked.
She thought about it. Her hire was a little legendary around the building because she’d negotiated hard for what she’d gotten. “It’s me. It’s me after the C-levels.”
Deke nodded in agreement. “He thinks I’m far less savvy than I am. He tried to manipulate me earlier today. I’m not sure if he did it because he needs to be the big man in even casual relationships, but he absolutely zeroed in on the fact that our financial disparity worries the fuck out of me.”
“Why would it worry you?” She knew the answer. Deke was proud, but it wasn’t like they were trying to get married or anything.
They couldn’t if he needed her to make herself small for him to feel good.
“It takes me back to a time when I was nothing more than your dumbass boyfriend,” he admitted with a frown. “You have no idea how often people told me the one smart thing I ever did was get you to go out with me. They were joking, and honestly, it’s probably true, but it bugged me then and it bugs me now. Your boss easily saw my weak spot, and that’s my fault.”
“I never thought that.” Her heart softened because he was being open and honest with her. This was what hadn’t worked for them before. She could remember sitting at dinner with his family and his cousins joking about how he was dating her for her earning potential and how much better she could do. He’d told her it didn’t bother him at all if it didn’t bother her. She’d known he was lying. His honesty felt like intimacy. Real and true intimacy. “I was always told you were far too hot for me.”
He shook his head. “Never. You’re so fucking gorgeous it hurts sometimes to look at you, and you are absolutely the hottest woman I’ve ever seen. No, baby, it’s my insecurity, and I’m working on it. I promise. I’m so proud of you and everything you’ve accomplished. But I need to admit the feeling so I can process it. Now answer my question. Do you want it at your desk or your couch, because this is happening here and now. You can cry and beg and I’m still going to spank that ass of yours, so you remember what the rules are.”
She was about to argue with him when she realized what she’d really done. He was right. She’d exposed herself and the whole team by following her own lead. Susan in HR was a gossipy busybody, but she’d been the only one around for her to work with. She’d been impatient and hadn’t communicated with the team put into place to handle the situation. If Deke had done this as a worker on her team, she would be pissed. It hadn’t occurred to her that MaeBe could get the same data without anyone knowing.
Beyond that, Deke had been forced to watch her do it with no recourse because she’d stashed her phone in her office. There were some labs where phones weren’t allowed, and it could be easier to store it. Her assistant would be able to find her in the office through the comms systems they used, but Deke wouldn’t have been able to get in touch with her.
He’d been out of control and worried, and this was how he would want to handle those emotions.
If he’d been a different man she would have walked away, but she trusted him. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt her. At its heart this was all play, and he needed to play the same way she’d needed it the night before. His anxiety was high, and he needed to blow off some steam. Controlling her could calm his beast.
It would also probably lead to a mind-blowing orgasm for her.
“The desk.” She almost never used the couch, and she wanted this memory. She wanted to sit at her desk and remember how Deke had topped her right here, wanted to be able to close her eyes and feel his hands on her.
“Place your hands on the top of the desk, palms down.”
She looked up at him. “Should I take my panties off?”
His hand came up and she could already see a measure of his tension fleeing. “Baby, if I want them off you, I’ll tear them off myself. Mind me.”
She turned and walked to her desk. Her blinds were open but the floor-to-ceiling windows were tinted, so no one could see in. She faced the window, the afternoon light still glowing and the freeway in the distance. Placing her palms flat on the top of the desk, Maddie breathed in and tried to find that place she’d started to enjoy. Her subspace.