“She was going to turn down Yale?” Kayla asked. “What is in your pants, Murphy?”
He ignored that part. “She wasn’t turning them down, exactly. She wanted to defer until I had time to apply to a college close to Yale. Except I wasn’t going to go to college. That wasn’t for me.”
“So you sat down and talked to her about it?” Kay asked. “Did you tell her you wanted to go into the military?”
“I didn’t want to go into the military. Hell, I had no idea what I wanted to do I just knew I couldn’t…” Deke stopped as the truth washed over him.
Fuck.
“You couldn’t follow her around. You needed to stand on your own,” Boomer prompted.
“Dude, you thought you would always be in her shadow,” Drake corrected with a smirk. “You were an asshole who pretended to sacrifice for her when it was always about your ego.”
Boomer sent Drake a death stare. “I was being nice.”
“And I was being honest.” The expression on Drake’s face made Deke want to punch him. “It’s good to see Murphy’s a real, flawed human being. He can’t stand that the woman he wants is smarter than him.”
“It’s not that and it never was.” He loved Maddie. All of her.
“What are you going to do after the op’s over?” Kay asked. “She works out here.”
“I don’t think Byrne is going to be left standing.” He hoped Maddie didn’t blame him for that.
“I assure you someone will buy up all that tech. Even if the stock bottoms out. Especially if the stock bottoms out,” Kay corrected herself. “They’ll want her.”
“Texas has a high-tech sector.” He stopped himself. “Fuck. You’re right. I’m already planning to ease her into my life instead of honoring hers.” He sighed. “But there are reasons for that. I’ve got a good network of friends who are like family. From what I can tell she has no one out here.”
“She has the ambition and the job you asked her to put in front of everything else,” MaeBe replied. “You told her a long time ago that what she could do for the world was far more important than her own emotional needs. I’m sure you weren’t the only one. I’m sure her parents meant well, but she was likely told all of her life that her smarts were her reason for being.”
“And the one time she tried to let her heart have its way, her boyfriend gaslighted her,” Drake said with a flourish. “Don’t look at me like that. Dude, I admit I’m terrible. I’m a liar and I manipulate everyone. I’m honest in my awfulness. You’re the wolf in good-guy clothes.”
“He’s not a bad guy,” Boomer argued. “He’s just dumb. He didn’t even understand what he was doing. He didn’t value himself so he decided the best thing he could give her was to sacrifice for her. He didn’t realize that he was taking away her choices by making one for her and that it would cost them years. He won’t make the same mistake again. He’s had a shit ton of therapy, and he knows how to communicate his feelings. He’s going to be open with the woman he loves, and they will make the best choice for the two of them.”
Yeah, he needed to listen to Boomer more. “I thought I was being open with her.”
Boomer seemed to consider the situation. “Have you asked her what’s wrong?”
He winced. “No, but I think part of it is she wants me to talk about my time in the military. I don’t know that I want to.”
“Then give her time and space to figure out if that’s something she can live with,” Kay said.
“He shouldn’t have to talk if he doesn’t want to,” Kyle insisted. “And it’s not right of her to make him. There are things that are personal and private.”
“Not in a relationship there aren’t,” MaeBe said quietly. “Or at least there shouldn’t be. I’m sorry. I’m with Maddie. There shouldn’t be secrets between people in love. There should be trust and intimacy. Your partner should be the only person in the world you tell everything to. The good. The bad. The ugly.” She stepped away from Kyle. “I’m going to go and check on her. She’s been in her lab all morning, but it’s almost break time. I want to watch over her.”
MaeBe strode out of the room.
It was a dramatic kind of day.
Drake shoved himself off the couch. “Kayla, will you show me the outside cameras at least? I want to make sure we’ve got the most coverage. And get out of this very uncomfortable conversation.”
“But I like uncomfortable conversations.” Still, Kayla opened the door and followed Drake out.
Kyle was shaking his head. “I get the feeling I did something wrong.”
“I think that was MaeBe’s way of saying she’s not getting everything she needs out of you.” Boomer stretched as he stood. “I’m going to check the fridge. I’m getting hungry.”
Cowards. They were all leaving him with a confused Kyle. Damn it. He had his own problems. “I think MaeBe is just trying to say you don’t have to hide. I’m not ashamed of what I went through. I dealt with it a long time ago, but I’m just realizing that maybe we need to stop pretending the years in between didn’t happen. I’m doing that because I know deep down I was wrong not to talk to her more.”
“What if I am ashamed of what happened?” Kyle’s eyes came up, a stubborn look settling in. “What if I’m pretty fucking sure if she knew half the things I did, she would walk away from me in a heartbeat.”
“You take the chance.” He was going to have to do it. He was going to have to talk to Maddie because he couldn’t let her…couldn’t stupidly push her away again.
Kyle shook his head. “Or I find another way.” He walked over to the desk and pointed at the files MaeBe had given Kayla. “There’s something wrong with that chick. With that Jane person.”
“What?”
Kyle shook his head. “I can’t put my finger on it, but it’s there. Something about that picture. I don’t know. I’ve gone over it a hundred times and I can’t find a flaw in Mae’s research. I think I should go by Jane’s apartment. I can get in and see if there’s anything unusual.”
“Absolutely not. Breaking into a private home is not in the parameters of this mission.” The last thing he was going to do was get Big Tag’s nephew arrested. “We’ve got two more nights to get through. We have to get into Byrne’s office, and somehow I think he won’t invite us to his party if we break into his girlfriend’s house. Byrne is the subject. Have you had any luck getting on at the company?”
Kyle shook his head. “Nah. They said there was a hiring freeze.”
That didn’t feel right. Maddie had been talking about the interns she’d brought in last week. Maybe it was only in security. “Feel free to look into Jane Adams, but you can’t break into her place. And I need you with us on Saturday. You’re MaeBe’s bodyguard. I need her able to work.”
Kyle stopped like he was coming up with an argument, and then he backed off. “All right. I’m going to check on her.”